Mr. Smallwood wrote in to tell me that a woman that I used to correspond with years ago, like when Crimewave first got started, is, was and always has been a man. I wouldnt say it really shocked me. More than anything, Id say it confirmed a deeply held suspicion about the men who are drawn to the lonely and sad world of the underground press

On a much happier note, my friend Patty in Chicago just wrote in to tell me that her parents, who live just miles away from me, subscribe to both the New Yorker and the Atlantic Monthly and that I can have their copies. I guess I just need to drop by their house in Ann Arbor and pick them up, or steal them out of their mailbox. Patty wasn’t so clear on the details. Maybe she wants me to put on a ski mask and rough-up her parents… “Hello, Mrs. Stevenson, your daughter told me you had Atlantic Monthlys in here. Where are they?!” Or, I could just ring the bell and say, “Hey, lady, are you done with the New Yorker?” I think I’ll do it that way. I’m not good at confrontation.

Patty also told me that a friend of hers in Chicago once took an acting class and had Screech as a performing partner. She had to look at him and mirror all of his actions and expressions. Patty suggested perhaps the story would make a nice companion piece to my interview with Screech, if it happens. As you can imagine, I was very excited by this news. Unfortunately, however, no sooner had I read her first note that I got another one from her. In this note, under the subject heading Ooops, Patty explained that shed misspoken when she said that it was Screech that her friend had acting class with. It was actually the fellow who played Boner on Growing Pains. I thought that was a riot… If I do the interview with Screech, I should keep asking him about working with Kirk Cameron (Christian) and Alan Thicke (Canadian)… Speaking of the pending interview with Screech, as of this moment voting is almost tied. If you havent weighed in yet, please do. You have until close of business today.

Here, in case youre interested, is a great web page from the Center for Disease Control site. Its all about the various strains of flu that are beginning to pop up, multiply and spread across the US. Apparently, its looking like were headed into a pretty deadly flu season As I read it, the only thing running through my head is, Dear God, if youre up there, please dont let me die before seeing at least one of the Paris Hilton videos.

On the subject of religion, Julie Bird wrote in today with something she found while searching for an answer to my, If Jesus was a carpenter, what did he build? question. Im not really sure what to make of it. If Im reading it correctly, it says that one of the apostles just said that Jesus was a carpenter so that people didnt think he was a bum – like when you tell your mom that your boyfriend works for an insurance company or something when he really just collects a disability check.

If youre looking for something to read in bed tonight, here are a few good articles you can print out. The first is from the new issue of Fast Company. Its a story about WalMart and how it strangles the life out of its suppliers. (The author doesnt really suggest that WalMart is inherently evil, just that its big and strong and it inadvertently kills the things that it plays with like the guy in Of Mice and Men) The second thing I wanted to tell you about was the new Paul Krugman piece. It contains within it a fairly easy-to-follow explanation of what the US mutual fund managers have been caught doing The third is from USA Today. Its an article about the FBIs attempt to enlarge its DNA database by incorporating the DNA of juvenile offenders. That, in and of itself, might not scare you, but I would suggest that its just one more in a series of steps that will one day lead us the point where samples are being taken at birth.

There was lots of other stuff to talk about today, but I need to finish up some other things right now. 24 and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy set me back a few hours.

Fear the smart house
Bid on the imaginary girlfriend
Help track down George Bush
Complete the transformation into corporate whore
Vow never to eat factory-farmed meat again

I experienced some good luck today at the gym. There, among the soggy, sweat-drenched magazines on the communal reading table by the stationary bikes, was a pristine copy of the December 2002 Atlantic Monthly. Being the greedy little fucker that I am, I not only hoarded it for the half-hour that I was riding the fake bike, I stuffed it down the leg of my sweatpants and smuggled it out to the car once I was done. Now, its upstairs waiting for me and I feel as though I need to go to it. Im halfway though a really fantastic piece on Bobby Fischer and his delusions.

As long as Im on the subject of the Atlantic Monthly, you might also want to check out the interview with author P.J. ORourke about drinking and just hanging around in Iraq. Hes got an interesting perspective.

I really dont say enough about the Atlantic Monthly. Its a good magazine, and one that I would surely subscribe to if I had the money.

For those of you who are interested, the top five things I would subscribe to, if I had the money, are: The New York Times, The New Yorker, Entertainment Weekly, The Atlantic Monthly, and Raw Vision I say this even though I just let my subscriptions to both Raw Vision and Entertainment Weekly lapse… Our New Yorker subscription went away last year. And, were down to just the Sunday NY Times. There just isnt enough time to read all the things that wed like to and we couldnt continue to justify spending the money on magazines that would just continue to stack up in the corner and remind us of how far behind we are.

OK, Im going up to read the 11-moth old issue of the Atlantic Monthly now. Hopefully, it isnt covered in microscopic parasites from the gym.