Mark Maynard | 2003

if you were a tiny person sitting on the bridge of my nose, you would have just seen the following

By Mark | April 30, 2003

A pretty good synopsis of the North Korean situation in Slate A list of Joss Whedons ten favorite episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer The last episode of the best reality TV show this season, Manor House Arianna Huffingtons new column on the growing disparity between executive pensions and those of regular workers An article on US troops leaving Saudi Arabia The transcript of a discussion between Barry Diller and Bill Moyers on the sobering subject of media consolidation And this little ray of hope. It appears as though Colin Powell is being given another chance to try diplomacy, this time visiting Syria, Lebanon and eventually the West Bank.

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correction

By Mark | April 30, 2003

Last night, I mentioned a friend in Chicago whose boyfriend claimed to have innocently stumbled across a close-up photo of a mans tattooed penis while searching on-line for a used guitar. I suggested that it sounded a bit suspicious. My guess was that he had been searching, probably for days, to find not a guitar, but what he considered to be the most perfectly tattooed cock. Well, Ive just been shown something that makes me call that into question. Apparently, you can search for guitars and stumble on cock.

David Miller just sent the following:

eBay just took this down, but someone grabbed the page and put it here. Supersize the image of the serial number on the back of the headstock. It’s the one on the right.

If you do what Dave says, if you follow his instructions carefully, you will see what Im talking about. Look closely.

I feel like Ive just seen OJ try on the bloody glove.

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the choppa

By Mark | April 30, 2003

I went jogging this afternoon and it occurred to me, while I was huffing and puffing along, that it might be neat if I let the readers of this site decide my next haircut. (With very few exceptions, my hair has been exactly the same since I first dropped my ToughSkin-covered ass onto a Sit-and-Spin 35 years ago.) Well, I just now checked my email and, as coincidence would have it, there was a letter from a woman named Jennifer. She wanted to suggest that I get something called a choppa the next time I go to visit my stylist Its like you people can read my fucking mind now Soon there wont be any need for the blog at all. Well just operate like the Borg on StarTrek, well share a collective hive mind. We will all be thinking about funny haircuts for me to get at the same time.

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footsie

By Mark | April 30, 2003

It occurred to me last night, as I was looking at myself in the mirror, that I could, if I had wanted to, probably have pursued a career in professional modeling. I mentioned it to Linette, who was standing behind me at the time, brushing her teeth, and she said, Maybe a foot model. Do you believe that? And that wasnt the worst of it either. After a minutes pause, she said, If youd clip your nails.