A woman, or what appears to be a woman, just posted a topless photo of herself at my friend Jeff Kay’s website. What’s more, she’s gone to the trouble of scrawling the name of his site on an index card that she’s got propped up on her belly.

It looks like one of those photos of kidnapped Wall Street Journal columnist Daniel Pearl before he was murdered in Pakistan, only sexier.

Where her note says “I heart thewvsr.com,” you’re expecting for it to say something about ransom.

I hesitate to post a link to something like this here, at www.markmaynard.com, but I feel as though it’s my journalistic duty.

Please, if you are a child that does not enjoy pornography, shut off the computer immediately and run and find one of your parents.

OK, are the rest of you ready for this?

If so, click here.

God forbid that anyone would do something like this for my little site.

Would it kill a few of you ladies out there to strip down, write my name on a sheet of paper and snap a headless photo?

OK, I’ve just taken a few moments to study this photo and I’m beginning to have second thoughts. Now I think that it might not be that this lady really loves Jeff’s site. My new theory is that this is a very clever ad trying to get people to go to the site mentioned in the bottom left corner of the photo. My bet is that some guy somewhere has access to a supple, young female torso and that he churns these ads out by the hour, posting them in guestbooks all around the internet.

Please study the photo yourself and send me your thoughts on it.

Do we have any forensic photographers in the audience today?

And before you even guess that it’s Jeff’s wife, Toney, forget it. I’ve met Toney and she’s too nice a lady to do something as tasteless as this… I have not, however, met Jeff’s mother-in-law or sister-in-law, who, if you are to believe his stories, are not terribly inhibited. (Could this be their way of telling Jeff that they have found his site and approve of what he’s doing?)

Regardless of who or what might be behind this headless posting, I am consumed with jealousy. The fact that Jeff has already had one million visitors so far this year while I have just crossed into the triple digits upsets me, but not nearly so much as this does.

I will not rest until I get a “headless seal of approval.”

Oh, one last thing, I am thinking of winning back the psychological advantage over Jeff by posting a topless photo of myself to his site tomorrow. Stay tuned.

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