You got your Gog in my Magog

gogtsiln2It’s been requested that I move this bit of craziness up to the front page, from the comments section of a recent thread, where it was left by a reader in Ypsi Township calling himself EOS. He didn’t indicate it in his comment, but the first two paragraphs were lifted verbatim from an Israeli news site. If you want to read that article in its entirety, just click here.

The Rabbinical Council of Judea and Samaria issued a statement Thursday in which it said that the results of the incident in which Israel intercepted a flotilla trying to break the naval blockade of Gaza seem like the Biblical description of “the beginning of the Gog and Magog process where the world is against Israel, but which ends with the third and final redemption”…

‘Gog and Magog’ is a reference is to chapters 38 and 39 in the book of Ezekiel, a part of which is read on the intermediate Sabbath of Sukkot (Tabernacles). These chapters describe a vision of a war where the world is united against Israel that will precede the final redemption. The prophecy’s symbolism involves a prince called Gog of Magog, leader of Rosh, Meshech and Tubal, who leads a coalition that includes Persia (Iran), Cush, Phut, Gomer, and Beit Togarmah against Israel. There are various opinions regarding the modern identity of these nations…

There is growing interest in the Ezekiel prophecies and whether they could play out in our lifetime. It is still too early to say anything definitively. But current events are strikingly consistent with the prophecies and it is possible that we could see these events unfold soon. The mention of “Gomer” in Ezekiel, for example, refers to the modern-day State of Turkey which will be an enemy of Israel and part of a Russian-Iranian alliance against the Jewish state. I’m not saying the prophecy will necessarily come to pass soon, but you can’t rule out that possibility. We’ve never seen a convergence of geopolitical and spiritual events so consistent with Ezekiel 38-39 in history like we are seeing today. We need to be prepared.

Hey, it’s even possible the world will end before we figure out how to cap the oil flow. Today could be the day.

magogSo, yeah, why kill ourselves trying to stop the flow of oil into the gulf? While it’s sad to see dead, oil covered animals washing up on shore, it’s actually pretty positive in the whole scheme of things. It’s a sign that God is coming back to gather up his believers. Unfortunately for some, however, it also means that a good number of are going to be spending an eternity gnashing your teeth and moaning in agony as the fire of eternal damnation licks at your flesh.

Oh, and EOS wasn’t done. As he’s something of a scientist, he came back with irrefutable proof when challenged… Here it is:

Approximately 2500 prophecies appear in the pages of the Bible, about 2000 of which already have been fulfilled to the letter—no errors. (The remaining 500 or so reach into the future and may be seen unfolding as days go by.) The odds for all these prophecies having been fulfilled by chance without error is less than one in 10 x e2000 (that is 1 with 2000 zeros written after it).

Did you read that? “No errors.” Isn’t that incredible?

[The above images are of Gog, who, in addition to being mentioned in the Bible, was also mentioned in several isues of Spider Man, and Magog, a black metal band from Sweden with a lead singer who looks suspiciously like Michael Cera, whom I believe the Bible also foretold.]

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24 Comments

  1. Charlotte
    Posted June 5, 2010 at 9:40 pm | Permalink

    I let a man put his gog in my magog once. It wasn’t nearly as bad as I’d expected.

  2. Kenny
    Posted June 5, 2010 at 11:09 pm | Permalink

    The arrival of the Gomer has already happened, and there’s video footage.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JAA2Unb0B4

  3. Mike Shecket
    Posted June 6, 2010 at 2:30 am | Permalink

    Personally, I think the prophecies of Genesis’s “Supper’s Ready” are about to come to fruition.

  4. EOS
    Posted June 6, 2010 at 5:58 am | Permalink

    Thanks Mark. Nice graphics, front page billing, and I even have my own tag now! But I most appreciate the link back to the original thread, where readers can see the posting in its original context. Someone might think, by reading only this thread, that I was advocating not cleaning up the oil spill. That was Peter’s idea, not mine. I was merely adding a comment that, in light of recent Mideast events, many believe that the end times are near. I did not lift the two paragraphs from the Israeli News site you linked to. We both lifted it from the press release of the Rabbinical Council as did a hundred or more other Internet sites.

    We are in agreement that oil leak needs to be stopped as soon as possible. However, you want to blame free market economics and the evil corporation BP as solely responsible. Your response, in light of the disaster, is as typical – we need more regulation. But I believe that current excessive regulation is what caused BP to go so far out from shore and drill so deep that has contributed to the exacerbation of this environmental disaster. The distance from the shore and the depth of the leak is major reason that the company hasn’t been successful in stopping the leak. In a free market economy, BP would have chosen to drill closer to shore, where drilling would be substantially cheaper and current technologies would have stopped the flow in a relatively short time period. Instead, BP was forced to drill further out from the shore, in the hope that any leak wouldn’t be able to reach the shore. As everyone can see even the greater distance and extra costs did not prevent the widespread ecological damage or the shore from being contaminated. While I don’t deny the good intentions of those who want to regulate environmental safeguards, their ignorance has most often damaged the very same environments they set out to protect. I recommend that you read Michael Crichiton’s “State of Fear”.

  5. Peter Larson
    Posted June 6, 2010 at 6:53 am | Permalink

    I didn’t suggest that you said that the BP spill shouldn’t be cleaned up. I merely pointed out that it was unnecessary because the End Times are near, just as Sarah Palin said in a recent Twitter feed.

  6. Elf
    Posted June 6, 2010 at 8:26 am | Permalink

    OMG! There’s a dog laying down with a cat in my house right now! That makes rapture, by my scientific calculation, ee2200000 times more likely.

  7. Aaron
    Posted June 6, 2010 at 9:10 am | Permalink

    I don’t know much of this Gog/Magog business but I do think the stars might finally be right – there by awakening the Great Cthulhu from his long slumber in R’lyeh.

    “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!”

  8. Dirtgrain
    Posted June 6, 2010 at 9:11 am | Permalink

    What are the odds of a person being duped 2000 times by cold reading from the past?

  9. Oliva
    Posted June 6, 2010 at 9:34 am | Permalink

    the End Times are near, just as Sarah Palin said in a recent Twitter feed.

    Did any of those many prophecies-come-true EOS mentioned warn that we’d encounter a reckless creep posing as a white female being fed Twitter lines by the Cheney family and hellbent on endangering us (and simple decency) so that this End Times storyline can be true?

  10. Edward
    Posted June 6, 2010 at 9:45 am | Permalink

    I don’t know about Gog and Magog, but everything prophesied by Goofus and Gallant has proven w100% true.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highlights_for_Children#Goofus_.26_Gallant

  11. Brackinald Achery
    Posted June 6, 2010 at 11:11 am | Permalink

    Somebody with a knack for throwing a different kind of fuel on this fire might point out that the people who failed to recognize their own Messiah might not be the best people to trust about recognizing end-times prophesy, either.

  12. Brackinald Achery
    Posted June 6, 2010 at 11:11 am | Permalink

    Fortunately, I am not that person.

  13. Peter Larson
    Posted June 6, 2010 at 3:04 pm | Permalink

    Not to mention that those people eventually killed him.

  14. Posted June 6, 2010 at 5:49 pm | Permalink

    I like how some people can overlook the far more prevalent message of “love your enemies,” which is overt, and focus instead on cryptic references pertaining to the apocalypse.

  15. Peter Larson
    Posted June 6, 2010 at 6:21 pm | Permalink

    It’s so much simpler.

  16. Jules
    Posted June 6, 2010 at 6:39 pm | Permalink

    In no way, is the oil industry over regulated. The problem has been the lack of enforcement. Anyone who says otherwise is spouting talking points bullshit. Big surprise. And as to this other canard about the reasons for drilling farther out, again, bullshit. Ever heard of the Ixtoc oil spill?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMSvw2B86k8
    It occurred in around 150 feet water depth and took them 9 months to fix and the industry technology has barely changed since then, which puts the lie to the notion that shallower drilling would just be peachy keen.

  17. EOS
    Posted June 6, 2010 at 9:38 pm | Permalink

    Christ was crucified by Roman soldiers. He hung on the cross, as God had planned from the beginning, to pay for my sins, your sins, and the sins of the entire world. If I were to assign blame – I’d blame myself. It was my sins that nailed Him to the cross. But praise God, whose mercy provided the sacrificial lamb to pay the penalty for the sins of everyone who trusts Christ as their Savior.

    Some people worship the creation rather than the Creator. The grass will wither and the flowers will fade, but eternity will last forever. It is not about focusing on apocalyptic messages, since no one can know the date or time. But it is a message motivated by love to ask my neighbors to consider their lives with a view of eternity. Because God wants everyone to be saved and to understand the truth. For there is only one God and one Mediator who can reconcile God and humanity—the man Christ Jesus. He gave his life to purchase freedom for everyone.

  18. Brackinald Achery
    Posted June 6, 2010 at 10:49 pm | Permalink

    Yeah, well, Jesus said the greater blame rested with the people who handed him over to Pilate, which I take to mean the Sanhedrin. But I’m not talking about the Sanhedrin of Jesus’ day because they died a long time ago. I’m talking about the Rabbinical Council of Judea and Samaria of today. How many prophesies pointed to Jesus as the Messiah? Why do you trust people who can’t properly interpret those prophesies to interpret prophesies of something of less importance, like a flotilla incident?

    There are plenty of instances in the bible of everybody ganging up on Judea and Israel because God was very angry with Judea and Israel with good cause. Perhaps the nations turning on the whore of Babylon in Revelations might be a more appropriate reference for today, or maybe it’s just some flotilla thing that has nothing to do with anything. Unless my knowledge of scripture is fuzzy, I’m pretty sure the Gog and Magog thing happens after the millennium reign of Jesus, according to Revelations, anyway. Am I right?

  19. Brackinald Achery
    Posted June 6, 2010 at 10:55 pm | Permalink

    …and your thinly veiled anti-Italian rhetoric is starting to concern me.

  20. EOS
    Posted June 7, 2010 at 12:00 am | Permalink

    I think Jesus’ reference was concerning Judas guilt. You nailed me with the anti-Italian comment. It’s something I need to work on.

    The view that makes the most sense to me is a pre-tribulation, pre-millennnial, second coming. When the armies surround Israel for the battle of Armagedon, Jesus will return and destroy many of them, but not all. The church is raptured, the seven years of tribulation occur, and then Jesus returns with the church for a millennial reign, which ends with the day of judgment. But I’ve not seriously studied Apocalyptic literature and realize that there are many different beliefs and interpretations. I could be totally wrong, but thankfully there is no entrance exam.

    People have been predicting the end of the world for the last 2000 years. Every generation has thought it might occur within their lifetimes. There have always been wars, rumors of wars, earthquakes and disasters. The writings of the Rabbinical council are less than convincing for me, but the significance of scholars who point to the correlations with prophecies emphasize that it could happen soon. Most Evangelicals also believe that the end is near. That’s the only significance I glean from the myriad of doomsayers who are prevalent today. It won’t happen until all the nations have heard the Gospel and the remnant in Israel has come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah. The only important truth to remember is to be ready and to have “lamps full of oil”. I’ve not been promised that I will even be alive tomorrow, much less to survive until the rapture.

  21. kjc
    Posted June 7, 2010 at 5:59 am | Permalink

    oy

  22. Posted June 7, 2010 at 9:27 am | Permalink

    It’s very comforting to know that my actions really have no consequences , since it’s almost “the end”. *whew*

  23. Posted June 7, 2010 at 12:18 pm | Permalink

    ahhhh yes, but we shant forgetEzekial 25:17, or Brother Jules, Who said: ‘The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides with the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon those with great vengeance and with furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know that my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.’

    Or all of the famous t-shirted lotharios of the years of the 1980’s A.D. who expressed the teachings : “Kill ‘Em All…Let God Sort ‘Em Out”.

    Or the sweet angelic little girl…who quietly and solemnly expresses the question: “Are You There God? It’s Me…Margaret”.

    And if the devil doesn’t like it he can sit on a tack..OUCH! Sit on a tack…OUCH!…sit on a tack…

  24. TJ
    Posted January 2, 2012 at 9:07 am | Permalink

    Speaking of the bible.

    http://i.imgur.com/ARXpy.jpg

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