new things to hate about yourself

By Mark | January 20, 2008

We human beings are an insecure bunch. As a rule, we think we’re dirty, smelly, fat, and ugly. The sad truth is, we are. Today, however, I have wonderful news. I have two new things that you can do to temporarily stem the tide of self-loathing. The first comes by way of Metafileter. It’s a product for men called NodorO. Here’s a clip from the product’s website:

“Why is it that no matter how much time and effort I put into washing my penis in the shower, I still get that awful whiff of a rancid smell throughout the day, or even right after a shower?”

Don’t worry, you are not alone. Finally, there is a solution. NodorO

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10 Comments

  1. John on Forest
    Posted January 20, 2008 at 10:47 pm | Permalink

    Mark, Cheer up!

    Everyone I know loves my penile odor and I’ve heard no reports of it’s power to melt glaciers.

  2. Stephanie
    Posted January 21, 2008 at 8:35 am | Permalink

    I go through roughly a hymen a month.

  3. Mike T
    Posted January 21, 2008 at 9:23 am | Permalink

    I’m having my monkey tail professionally engorged.

  4. KT
    Posted January 21, 2008 at 10:33 am | Permalink

    Number 12 looks just like you!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Number_12_Looks_Just_Like_You

  5. WS
    Posted January 21, 2008 at 12:01 pm | Permalink

    My old vagina was KILLING ME! Thank God for vaginal rejuvenation.

  6. Meta
    Posted January 21, 2008 at 12:05 pm | Permalink

    Howard Stern discussing NodorO on Letterman:

    http://www.nodoro.com/mplay.html

  7. Sarah
    Posted January 21, 2008 at 2:17 pm | Permalink

    Cosmetic procedures and social consciousness are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Please do not suggest that another person’s insecurity is vapid or invalid. You have no idea what it takes for some people to get out of bed in the morning.

  8. James
    Posted January 21, 2008 at 2:55 pm | Permalink

    I don’t say this to be cruel. I realize that there are legitimate reasons for some vaginoplasty procedures. If you are saying, however, that the way your vagina looks has prevented you from leaving the bed in the morning, I have to say that I find that hard to accept.

    I read the site of the Michigan institute linked to in this post and it says quite clearly that women come in with copies of “Playboy” asking for their vaginas to look like the ones in the photos. It doesn’t mention rebuilding vaginas after horrendous car crashes. My sense is that an overwhelming majority of these procedures are not called for.

  9. AR
    Posted January 21, 2008 at 4:01 pm | Permalink

    I largely agree with you on this issue – in a way it seems like the ultimate form of self-loathing (genital plastic surgery). But, ya know, until you’ve squeezed a baby or two out of your vagina (or had a vagina for that matter) – try not to be so thoroughly judgemental and superior. Childbirth does a LOT of damage down there (partly due to western medical practices, but that’s a whole separate issue) – to the point that many women suffer incontinence afterwords. So there are completely legitimate reasons for a procedure like this.

  10. mark
    Posted January 21, 2008 at 8:56 pm | Permalink

    I’m sorry if I hurt anyone’s feelings. That wasn’t my intent. As has already been pointed out, there are no doubt good reasons why a woman would subject herself to vaginal cosmetic surgery. I certainly didn’t mean to suggest otherwise. I’m also certain that penis odor is an enormous problem for some men. I suspect in both cases, however, that those who really need the treatment are outnumbered by far by those who want it in order to conform to some pornified ideal of beauty, or just flat out loathe themselves.

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