condoms don’t belong in school, and neither does al gore

A fellow in Washington state is seeking to keep the Al Gore documentary on global warming, “An Inconvenient Truth,” out of their public schools, and, somehow, inexplicably, it seems to be working. Here’s a clip from the “Seattle Post Intelligencer“:

…After a parent who supports the teaching of creationism and opposes sex education complained about the film, the Federal Way School Board on Tuesday placed what it labeled a moratorium on showing the film. The movie consists largely of a PowerPoint presentation by former Vice President Al Gore recounting scientists’ findings.

“Condoms don’t belong in school, and neither does Al Gore. He’s not a schoolteacher,” said Frosty Hardison, a parent of seven who also said that he believes the Earth is 14,000 years old.

Well, actually, Frosty, he kind of is a school teacher, but don’t let me interrupt you. Tell us about this magic book of yours that can tell the future.

“The information that’s being presented is a very cockeyed view of what the truth is. The Bible says that in the end times everything will burn up, but that perspective isn’t in the DVD”…

That’s a wonderful point, Frosty. I’ve seen the film and it’s absolutely true at no point does Al Gore try to connect the scientific reality of what we’re seeing take place around us to any ancient pieces of prophecy, not a single one. Instead, Mr. Smartypants focuses on how we might be able to reverse the trend. Can you believe that? It’s like the whole film is just one long, slow motion shot of him hocking up a big loogie and spitting right in our Lord’s beautiful, white face. It hadn’t really occurred to me until right now, but how dare he try to stop these end times from coming. If God wants there to be wailing and gnashing of teeth, then that’s what he should get.

What has Frosty told you to think about all of this Mrs. Hardison?

“From what I’ve seen (of the movie) and what my husband has expressed to me, if (the movie) is going to take the approach of ‘bad America, bad America,’ I don’t think it should be shown at all,” Gayle Hardison said. “If you’re going to come in and just say America is creating the rotten ruin of the world, I don’t think the video should be shown”…

And these are exactly the kind of people we need deciding our public school curriculums. I say we round up all those college-educated school administrators and string ’em up, and put some good, god-fearing, patriotic people in control. And, if something makes me think, even for a moment, that I as an American am not inherently great, then whatever it is should be destroyed immediately, whether it be a person, a video, or a book. No questions asked. There is no place for doubt. Everything we see and hear should reinforce the truth – that we, as the chosen people of God, are infallible.

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12 Comments

  1. mark
    Posted January 12, 2007 at 12:05 am | Permalink

    Intrigued by this fellow, Frosty Hardison, I decided to do a little looking around on the web. I didn’t find much, except for a few mentions of him haranguing his local city council on other issues. What I really wanted was a photo, but I couldn’t find any. (I thought that looking into his eyes might give me some insight as to what in the fuck makes him tick.) There was, however, a positive review that he’d written on Amazon dot com for a game called Gemfire. Gemfire, according to Wikipedia, is a game that’s full of magicians, gargoyles and the like. So now I have this image of him locked in a basement, tearing the heads off of imaginary gargoyles, while his perpetually pregnant wife tends to their slack-jawed-n-snot-nosed brood… Jesus, this article has pissed me off. Every word of it.

  2. t.d. glass
    Posted January 12, 2007 at 9:27 am | Permalink

    Sure, Al Gore had “scientists” in the movie, but who represented the other side? Who spoke out about witches? I’ll tell you – NO ONE!

  3. t.d. glass
    Posted January 12, 2007 at 9:29 am | Permalink

    By not being anti-witch, you are being pro-witch.

    The film might as well be called, “My Love Letter to the Witches, by Al Gore.”

  4. It's Skinner Again
    Posted January 12, 2007 at 9:48 am | Permalink

    For classroom use, maybe the distributor can simply edit out the part where Gore demonstrates the condom.

  5. ol' e cross
    Posted January 12, 2007 at 1:28 pm | Permalink

    I couldn’t find a picture of him either, but his Amazon.com wish list should give you a little window into his soul. My favorite is Why You’re Dumb, Sick and Broke…And How to Get Smart, Healthy and Rich!

  6. DM
    Posted January 12, 2007 at 2:12 pm | Permalink

    “How to Get Your Point Across in 30 Seconds or Less” may be the relevant book here. Mr. Hardison could be upset about Al Gore’s lack of brevity.

  7. edweird
    Posted January 12, 2007 at 2:16 pm | Permalink

    It’s almost hard to believe that this guy was able to get the School Board to do anything but laugh at him. Federal Way is just outside of Tacoma to the north, between Tacoma and Seattle. You’d think they’d be a bit more enlightened. Can we go back to throwing Christians to lions or are lions endangered?

  8. DM
    Posted January 12, 2007 at 3:47 pm | Permalink

    There is a healthy amount of doubt and faith that we all express. The apparent difference between Mr. Hardison and the opposing camp is that inductive reasoning, in the cases of global warming and the age of the earth, is more compelling to us. His doubts and beliefs are different, but the only civilized response would be to try and reason with him and others like him – however difficult that may be. The other option for the resolution of two dissonant beliefs, whether it is fact or opinion, is violence ( or violence through restriction of liberty.) And I don’t believe that really is an option if we want to call ourselves civilized.

    Maybe we should revamp the curriculum to focus on grammar, rhetoric, and logic so that everyone has the tools to try and compel others by reason rather than through threats of bodily harm or death if they don’t change their mind.

    I vaguely recall a comment from Fearless about a culture of debate, or something to that affect. It was in a derogatory context, so I’m not hopeful that there will be any top down example of compulsion through reason for at least another 2 years.

    You gotta have faith….

  9. egpenet
    Posted January 12, 2007 at 5:58 pm | Permalink

    Concerns about Condom Warming are overblown.

    Condom Warming is a wonderful way to employ this proven prophylactic. The partner inserts the condom in their mouth to warm and further moisten it, then applies the device backward, rolling, and thus unfolding the edge of the device down the shaft of the penis.

    I can understand why Condom Warming is not taught in some Middle Schools, but it could be a good lesson for those pre-pubescent sex feinds. It should be mandatory in Sex Ed classes in the High Schools. However, I have a feeling evn Trusty G. would object to that.
    Oh, well. Just one man’s opinion.

  10. ol' e cross
    Posted January 12, 2007 at 10:49 pm | Permalink

    I spent considerable energy today finding out everything I could about Frosty Earl Hardison (aka FrostyE … such a perfectly villainous name). His wife Gayla ran for city council, got nine percent of the vote. Gayla and at least three of his seven kids (Robbie, Brittany and Elisabeth) are as committed to his philosophy as he. I presume from various articles/postings, he failed at computer consulting, tried the other sure-fire get rich scheme of real-estate, failed again and is trying to return to computers. He appears to be a weak, desperately insecure individual who plays fantasy games as a source of personal power and latches on to whatever he perceives to be an underdog ideology to explain/compensate for his own ineptness. His preference in religious books is not Christian, but cultic conspiratorial. He appears to be one sadly troubled individual. There is no local church or political folk rallying behind him. No verifiable movement. The fact that we, a thousand miles away, have decided to make this one pathetic, wacky dude an object of concern may say more about us than about him. Yes, I am slightly drunk, a movie made me mad, and I may recount this in the morning. In short, don’t take me any more seriously than the Earl of Frost.

  11. mark
    Posted January 13, 2007 at 9:34 am | Permalink

    This movie that made you so mad wouldn’t, by any chance, happen to be the same movie you said that you wanted to tell us about in that other thread, would it?

    And thanks for the investigative journalism, Ol’ec…. If my hands weren’t so full at the moment, I’d say that we should do something with all of this information, like launch a FrostyE site. I bet we (and by “we”, I mean “you”) could call him and get an interview pretty easily.

  12. ol' e cross
    Posted January 15, 2007 at 9:02 am | Permalink

    Aforementioned movie was funny, but just pushed one my buttons and made me the kind of dirty you feel from watching torture toons.

    I like to think Frosty may find us.

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