dialing the e-meter up to “crazy”

I’ve been getting a huge amount of traffic by way of Google ever since Tom Cruise went completely ape-shit on Oprah the other day. Apparently, when you search for information on Scientologist “Lee Anne de Vette,” Cruise’s publicist/sister, mm.com comes up first. And hundreds of people, it would seem, have been searching for information about her, the woman who allowed Cruise to immolate his career in front of America… By they way, I’d like someone to remind me of this if I ever get the bright idea to allow the Scientologists to handle my career.

In other Google news, an mm.com post is apparently the second thing to show up when you do a search for “kill a judge.” It pops up right after a link to Sean Hannity’s site… I’m not so sure why people would be searching for that, but I suspect they’ll be disappointed by my post, which is just a condimnation of the conservative extremists who are seeking to demonize the judiciary, not a “how to” tutorial.

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15 Comments

  1. chris
    Posted June 5, 2005 at 1:48 pm | Permalink

    I have a bizarre fascination with tom Cruise, akin to a car crash fascination. Thank you for this link, he even made the Times. The thing is every time I’ve watched him on TV I have always had some anxious dread about something, and there it is.

    Jesus, I can’t even get through my wedding video without crawling under the bed and groaning, HOW can he get through that. He seems whacked.

  2. john galt
    Posted June 5, 2005 at 4:18 pm | Permalink

    looks like he finally reached OTVII (Operating Thetan level 7), his phychic powers must be immense now. Sorta reminds me of the trapper keeper episode of southpark… He must be kept away from Rosie O’Donnel at all costs.

  3. mark
    Posted June 5, 2005 at 6:23 pm | Permalink

    As the Monkey Power Trio would say, he

  4. john galt
    Posted June 5, 2005 at 8:58 pm | Permalink

    It is also rumored that he’s gay. This whole love affair thing is just a transparent attempt to drum up movie sales, why do people even care about this crap. I’m sure that in his day there were also tons of tabloid stories about the latest starlet that Rock Hudson was dating.

  5. john galt
    Posted June 5, 2005 at 9:02 pm | Permalink

    Wait.. I’m sorry for that last post.. A body thetan made me do it, I’m going to run down to Dianetics center for an assist, then do a rundown. I was going to do this last week, but I had to sell some plasma to get enough money.

  6. john galt
    Posted June 6, 2005 at 7:10 pm | Permalink

    Once upon a time (75 million years ago to be more precise) there was an alien galactic ruler named Xenu. Xenu was in charge of all the planets in this part of the galaxy including our own planet Earth, except in those days it was called Teegeeack.

    Xenu the alien ruler Now Xenu had a problem. All of the 76 planets he controlled were overpopulated. Each planet had on average 178 billion people. He wanted to get rid of all the overpopulation so he had a plan.

    Xenu took over complete control with the help of renegades to defeat the good people and the Loyal Officers. Then with the help of psychiatrists he called in billions of people for income tax inspections where they were instead given injections of alcohol and glycol mixed to paralyse them. Then they were put into space planes that looked exactly like DC8s (except they had rocket motors instead of propellers).

    These DC8 space planes then flew to planet Earth where the paralysed people were stacked around the bases of volcanoes in their hundreds of billions. When they had finished stacking them around then H-bombs were lowered into the volcanoes. Xenu then detonated all the H-bombs at the same time and everyone was killed.

    The story doesn’t end there though. Since everyone has a soul (called a “thetan” in this story) then you have to trick souls into not coming back again. So while the hundreds of billions of souls were being blown around by the nuclear winds he had special electronic traps that caught all the souls in electronic beams (the electronic beams were sticky like fly-paper).

    After he had captured all these souls he had them packed into boxes and taken to a few huge cinemas. There all the souls had to spend days watching special 3D motion pictures that told them what life should be like and many confusing things. In this film they were shown false pictures and told they were God, The Devil and Christ. In the story this process is called “implanting”.

    When the films ended and the souls left the cinema these souls started to stick together because since they had all seen the same film they thought they were the same people. They clustered in groups of a few thousand. Now because there were only a few living bodies left they stayed as clusters and inhabited these bodies.

    As for Xenu, the Loyal Officers finally overthrew him and they locked him away in a mountain on one of the planets. He is kept in by a force-field powered by an eternal battery and Xenu is still alive today.

    That is the end of the story. And so today everyone is full of these clusters of souls called “body thetans”. And if we are to be a free soul then we have to remove all these “body thetans” and pay lots of money to do so. And the only reason people believe in God and Christ was because it was in the film their body thetans saw 75 million years ago.

    Well what did you think of that story?

    What? You thought it was a stupid story?

    Well so do we. However, this story is the core belief in the religion known as Scientology.* If people knew about this story then most people would never get involved in it. This story is told to you when you reach one of their secret levels called OT III. After that you are supposed to telepathically communicate with these body thetans to make them go away. You have to pay a lot of money to get to this level and do this (or you have to work very hard for the organisation on extremely low pay for many years).

    We are telling you this story as a warning. If you become involved with Scientology then we would like you to do so with your eyes open and fully aware of the sort of material it contains.

    OT3 in Hubbard’s handwriting Most of the Scientologists who work in their Dianetics* centres and so called “Churches” of Scientology do not know this story since they are not allowed to hear it until they reach the secret “upper” levels of Scientology. It may take them many years before they reach this level if they ever do. The ones who do know it are forced to keep it a secret and not tell it to those people who are joining Scientology.

  7. chris
    Posted June 7, 2005 at 10:08 pm | Permalink

    John, how do you know all this? Can one join the church on a purely trial basis? Or would I be found out? I tried to watch that John Travolta thing being a fan of sci-fi, but it was unwatchable.

    I don’t know if its just me, but something seems different about you. You seem happier.

  8. mark
    Posted June 7, 2005 at 11:17 pm | Permalink

    I think he’s just cutting and pasting from happier sources.

  9. john galt
    Posted June 8, 2005 at 8:55 am | Permalink

    you can join vouluntarily, but its gonna cost you around 300K or so to get to the level where they tell you this, by that time you might not care as you’ll have gone through years of brainwashing and conditioning.. and told them all you’r dirty secrets while hooked up to a lie detector (E-Meter).

  10. Teddy Glass
    Posted June 8, 2005 at 9:36 am | Permalink

    There’s a Cruise film – I think it’s The Firm – in which his company orchestrates events so that he ends up fucking a woman (not his wife) on a beach while they capture it all on tape to use later for the purposes of blackmail. It’s not too hard to imagine that Cruise was drawing on some very real experiences there. (In other words, I think “the church” probalby has some hot, gay, underage sex tapes somewhere starring Cruise.)

  11. Posted June 8, 2005 at 6:30 pm | Permalink

    more likely is that they have documents from an information rundown, where the Sci reveals all his crimes and misdeeds while hooked up to an e-meter. Its a common tactic of theirs and is required before going up in grades.. The first rundown occurs pretty soon after the purification rundown (where they feed you a low protien diet for a week, keep you in saunas, and give you a form of niacin that turns you bright red.. They claim the color is caused by the impurities leaving you.. The low protien makes you very suggestible.

  12. john galt
    Posted June 8, 2005 at 6:35 pm | Permalink

    since some people seem interested, heres a good narative of things work.

    http://www-2.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/Library/Shelf/xenu/

    on a side note I’ve known people who have come out of this.

  13. Posted June 9, 2005 at 8:54 am | Permalink

    This answers the question “On what can Liberals and Conservatives agree?” Or where can MM.com-ers and John Galt have a discussion where we don’t yell at each other?

  14. W. Morrissette
    Posted July 9, 2005 at 1:01 am | Permalink

    the thing about Scientology auditing with an e-meter (their form of therapy), the process is hypnotic in effect and the preclear (client) ends up telling every dirty dark secret in his life,which is written down and filed away. Can you spell BLACKMAIL?

  15. chris
    Posted July 9, 2005 at 10:02 pm | Permalink

    OK, I know this NOT the venue for dirty rumor mongering. BUT, a friend of mine says that a certain Mega-star was caught in bed w/ L. Ron’s son, and that his current bride to be was said to have received a 10 million dollar pay off to be his beard in Page 6 of the NY Post. Of course, this was just an aside as we discussed the contextual differences between Derrida and Foucault’s postmodern deconstructionism.

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