the message

A few days ago, I asked you all for magnetic car ribbon ideas. (I really want to for us to collaborate on something and have it produced, and I think that this could be the perfect project.) Anyway, not many of you contributed ideas. (The ones that have come in so far are great, but I wanted to have a more extensive discussion, with a lot more ideas being thrown into the mix.) A smarter man might take the relative dearth of enthusiasm as evidence of the fact that his idea wasn’t that good to begin with, but I can’t help but think that there would be a market for ribbons, like the obnoxious ones we’ve all seen, but with more subversive/progressive messages… Well, since I posted my request, I’ve had a few more ideas for possible messages. I don’t know that they’re necessarily right for magnetic car ribbons, but here some of them are for your consideration:

“Support Tax Cuts at All Costs”

“Support Impeachment”

“Climate change is real. The social security crisis is not.”

“The deficit is real. The social security crisis is not.”

“Support The NeoCon Agenda”

“Support War”

“Don’t Support the Facts. Support Our Leader.”

“Support Our Ruling Class.”

Seriously, I will find the money to have something made if we can agree to an idea. Go back and read my last post on the subject, give it some more thought, and then post something, even if it’s just a critique of someone else’s idea. And remember, no idea is too small, no concept is too obscure.

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61 Comments

  1. brett
    Posted February 8, 2005 at 9:51 pm | Permalink

    i think something similar was already suggested, but I would lean towards “Support Magnetic Ribbon Manufacturers”.
    Regardless of what direction you go in thematically, it does seem like if you’re already going to imitate the ribbon medium, your phrase should definitely start out with the word “Support” or “I support”. That would continue to lull the viewer into a relaxed state, more responsive to the twist at the end. Other phrases are fine on bumper stickers, but in this format I think starting out with a something like “Climate Change” or “The Deficit” would make the unwitting viewer recognize the political lean too quickly.
    “I support the Red States (with government handouts generated by my Blue State)” is probably too wordy and complicated an idea, but that just occurred to me as well.

  2. brett
    Posted February 8, 2005 at 10:02 pm | Permalink

    I just remembered another idea i had that probably will also be of no use to you.
    Find a good schematic/outline of the structural undercarriage/frame of the car you drive. Then you make a sillhouette of this into a sticker, with the phrase “I support this vehicle”. I suppose it doesn’t have any real political message, but i guess i was thinking neither do most of the other stickers out there, so why even bother.
    It would also be a strange, non-ribbon shape, which probably invalidates it. However, your fish ribbon design for some reason reminds me primarily of the fetal cow baby in “Eraserhead”. I mean that in a good way.

  3. brett
    Posted February 8, 2005 at 10:07 pm | Permalink

    I SUPPORT HOSE
    or,
    I SUPPORT TRUSS

    wait- here’s the best yet. you have the ribbon say “I SUPPORT F-TROOPS”, with a picture of Larry Storch in the middle. That’s a good one. I’ll go to sleep now. My work here is done.

  4. Ken
    Posted February 8, 2005 at 10:53 pm | Permalink

    Weed out the Weak

  5. mark
    Posted February 9, 2005 at 7:36 am | Permalink

    I Only Support Those Who Can Support Themselves

    or

    Support Those Who Need No Support

  6. Doug Skinner
    Posted February 9, 2005 at 9:27 am | Permalink

    “Support Torture”
    “Support Cheap Labor”
    “Support MISSION ACCOMPLISHED”

  7. Ken
    Posted February 9, 2005 at 9:48 am | Permalink

    The Meek Shall Be Buried in the Earth

  8. alicia
    Posted February 9, 2005 at 10:22 am | Permalink

    This is really intimidating. The ones so far are far better than anything I’ve been able to come up with for yellow ribbons:

    Support homo habilis
    Support H.R. Puffinstuff
    Support Tony Orlando and Dawn

    Or for evolution ribbons:

    Support puntuated equilibrium
    support amphioxus
    (see http://workshop.molecularevolution.org/resources/amphioxus/)

    support fossil hominids

    fossil hominids don’t lie

    I think I’m embarassing myself now so I’ll stop

  9. [steph]
    Posted February 9, 2005 at 10:32 am | Permalink

    “My other car LOVES global warming” (with a heart)

    Or, more positively
    “My other car is the bus” (or subway/metro/T, etc)

    Or, perhaps a non sequitor
    “My other car supports the troops”

  10. Brian
    Posted February 9, 2005 at 11:35 am | Permalink

    -Support Karl Rove
    -Support Imperialism
    -Support my need for a FOX News Alert
    -Mission kinda-sorta-not-really accomplished!

  11. CompaniaHill
    Posted February 9, 2005 at 12:25 pm | Permalink

    I tired of those “Support the Troops” things pretty early on, and it didn’t take long to design my own version. I printed it, cut it out and taped it to the inside of my car’s rear window, where it’s been for quite some time now.

    Simple, clean design. Same “ribbon” shape, but in black, with white lettering:

    “Mourn the Troops.”

  12. JF
    Posted February 9, 2005 at 1:57 pm | Permalink

    “I Work Hard So You Don’t Have To”
    “I Am Responsible for My Own Success”
    “I Take Accountability for My Own Actions”
    “The Term Less Fortunate is an Excuse”
    “I Blame Others to Deflect My Poor Decisions”

  13. JF
    Posted February 9, 2005 at 2:05 pm | Permalink

    Saw these and thought they might work:

    “Vote Democratic…it’s easier than getting a job”

    “PLEASE WORK HARDER! THERE ARE MILLIONS ON WELFARE COUNTING ON YOU”

  14. chris
    Posted February 9, 2005 at 2:23 pm | Permalink

    Hmmmm, JF… every Democrat I know is gainfully employed. And, speaking for myself, I am paying taxes at a higher rate than Dick Cheney…I kid you not. Regarding welfare, I know of what you mean…many soldiers are being paid a salary which qualifies them for food stamps, if you would really like I can find the link. In addition, there are and will be any number of incidents where vets return to jobs that have been downsized and as a result may need some sort of “welfare” will you begrudge them that for their sacrifice? And if you are an able bodied young person with no family (I am giving you that option, the National Gaurd called into activity 15 years post contract fulfilled were not)you better be fucking emailin’ this shit from Iraq. Because as someone living wthin 10 miles of ground zero I would sure appreciate the likes of you protecting me from…uh, what was it again?

  15. chris
    Posted February 9, 2005 at 2:24 pm | Permalink

    Mark, let Kos know that I think I have found Jeff Gannon.

  16. chris
    Posted February 9, 2005 at 3:11 pm | Permalink

    Actually, Kos and Co. have found Gannon and he is totally outed. Check out what’s happenin’ at Daily Kos, I would like to say it is unreal but really it is almost surreal. There seems to be a link to his phot but when you get to it the site has EXCEEDED ITS BANDWIDTH for the day. Boys and girls I must say that is a first for me. Mark, when are you going to exceed your bandwidth?

  17. chris
    Posted February 9, 2005 at 9:26 pm | Permalink

    JF-
    link to http://www.csmonitor.com/2005/0208/p02s01-ussc.html

    describing the need for the “welfare” you mock. I don’t know about you but I think these good folk are entitled…don’t you?

  18. mike
    Posted February 9, 2005 at 10:48 pm | Permalink

    “I support unearthing the meek from mass graves in Iraq”
    “I support women voting in Iraq”
    “I support the ousting of Dictators”
    “I support 8 million voters in Iraq, thank you America”
    “I support democracy across the world”
    “I support more home ownership in the US”
    “I support Liberalism….it’s the quickest way to Socialism”
    “I support Michael Moore, he’s my hero”
    “I support John Kerry..the election was stolen….again”
    “I support protesting (it gives me something to do when everyone else is working)”
    “I support Oil for Food (or palaces or underground bunkers)”
    “I support the losing candidate…repeatedly”
    “I support the government doing everything for me..even though I don’t trust it”
    “I support you supporting me”
    “I admit it, I just hate capitalism.”
    “I support helping others…as long as they aren’t Christians”
    “I support avioding war…Hitler would have wanted it that way”

  19. Kez
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 1:13 am | Permalink

    i support the voices.

  20. mark
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 7:38 am | Permalink

    Now that we’ve lured all the trolls here, what should we do with them?

    That’s not a slogan idea, I’m just asking.

  21. Ken
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 8:31 am | Permalink

    “Support the Trolls!”

    I kid. The Atlanta paper runs a feature called the Vent every day. The idea is that everybody gets an opportunity to say what ever is on their mind whether it be funny, political, or downright nasty. I read it everyday and there is usually one that makes me laugh and one that makes me cringe. The others are just there.

    Yesterday, this one made me cringe:
    “Shame on you unpatriotic members of Congress for criticizing the president’s budget. We are at war. Shut up and back our leader.”

    With that as inspiration, I offer this for a ribbon:
    “Support Your One-Party System”

    Here is the link for the Vent in case you want to get addicted yourself:

    http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/vent/

    PS – Any of the vents that sound foreign are probably an ongoing vent war or local to Atlanta.

  22. alicia
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 9:44 am | Permalink

    WWBD?

    (That’s Buster, from Arrested Development)

    “Support George Bush’s getting BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    EEEEEE EEEEEEP and BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP of all the other Republican BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP old prunes”

  23. Doug Skinner
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 11:16 am | Permalink

    “Support the Back-Door Draft”

    “Support Salvaged Armor”

    “Support Terrorists in Iran to Fight Terrorists in Iraq”

    “If You’re Not Republican, You’re Not Christian”

    “Government Without Religion Is Like a Lunatic Without a Knife”

    “I’m Holier Than Thou”

  24. brett
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 11:51 am | Permalink

    Ken- the ‘community discussion board’ you mention in atlanta sounds exactly like an identical board on the ann arbor news site, which has always seemed very bizarre to me as it’s basically a small group of conservatives talking to eachother about ‘latte liberals’ and the like. It would seem in a community like AA there would be some people who would try to give a left-leaning voice to the discussion, but they virtually never do. I think it might be because, basically, few people even know the forum is there, and if they do look at it (like me), it seems to have already been taken over by neocons so what’s the point in even trying to say something. I’d be interested to hear if any of the posters here have had a look at that and their opinion.
    Mark- Don’t be so hard on yourself. I think “Now that we’ve lured all the trolls here, what should we do with them?” is one of the best slogans I’ve heard so far, from a surrealist standpoint. It would certainly get people thinking, and they’d probably interpret it as a coded message which would haunt them the rest of the day as they go through their routine, constantly wondering in their minds “Damnit, Who ARE the Trolls?!?”

  25. kez
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 12:40 pm | Permalink

    “I brake for Insurgents.”

  26. marx
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 12:47 pm | Permalink

    “Jews are the problem”
    “Long live the Intifada”
    “Tax the Rich”
    “Jimmy Carter for World Leader”
    “Support the Arab Bomb”
    “Death To America”
    “Marines are Pussies”
    “IndyMedia Morlock”

  27. John Galt
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 12:51 pm | Permalink

    I don’t have a job, thanks for paying my mortgage

    Product of a government education

    I sneer at your success

    Mob Rule!

    If you can’t make it on you’re own, steal it from others

    I sneer at your success

    I’m a L00ser

  28. mike
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 12:53 pm | Permalink

    “Of course I was picked last in gym class…I’m a liberal”
    “I support over sensitivity”
    “I support tolerance of my point of view”
    “If you make more money than me, I hate you”

  29. mike
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 12:59 pm | Permalink

    “I support you agreeing with me”
    “I support trolling websites that suck without my presence”

  30. Mark
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 1:05 pm | Permalink

    I support mental Masturbation

  31. Doug Skinner
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 1:06 pm | Permalink

    I support my hate speach against republicans

  32. Doug Skinner
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 1:07 pm | Permalink

    I suport Public Educaton

  33. Al Franken
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 1:10 pm | Permalink

    I support crying on the CBC

  34. Jimmy Carter
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 1:11 pm | Permalink

    I support the enemy

  35. Tony Buttons
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 1:51 pm | Permalink

    It’s the troll motherload!

  36. Ginger Lynn
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 1:53 pm | Permalink

    The “I brake for insurgents” pretty much sums it up on this site.

    My Freedom is Your Responsibility

    If you cant make it on your own let the government steal it for you.

  37. Ken
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 1:59 pm | Permalink

    Support the Annexation of Canada

  38. Long Face
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 2:23 pm | Permalink

    I Support Bush….My Wife Loves Dick

  39. brett
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 2:44 pm | Permalink

    nevermind what i said above about looking at the ann arbor news “Town Talk’ forum. I think it just relocated itself to markmaynard.com.

    I SUPPORT YOUR RIGHT TO FREE SPEECH, BUT YOU COULD ALSO TRY LISTENING ONCE IN A WHILE.

    I SUPPORT YOUR RIGHT TO SAY THAT YOU’RE CHRISTIAN WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY IGNORING CHRIST’S TEACHINGS.

    I SUPPORT THE RIGHT OF CREATIONISTS TO NOT UNDERSTAND THE DEFINITION OF THE WORD THEORY AS IT APPLIES TO SCIENTIFIC DISCIPLINES.

    I SUPPORT YOUR RIGHT TO ACT LIKE A FRIGHTENED BABY ANY TIME YOU HEAR THE WORD ‘LIBERAL’.

    I SUPPORT YOUR RIGHT TO SAY YOU’RE CONSERVATIVE AND THEN NOT ACTUALLY CONSERVE ANYTHING.

    I SUPPORT PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING YOU HATE. SORRY!

  40. Long Face
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 2:56 pm | Permalink

    I Support Brets Right to Look Down on Anyone Who Believes in God

    I Support Brets Right to Look Down on Anyone Who Doesn’t Agree with Him

    I Support Brets Right to Act Like an Elitist

  41. W
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 3:02 pm | Permalink

    I support blogging in caps to emphasize my teen angst.

  42. Mark
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 3:03 pm | Permalink

    I support the right to call people “Ass Selling Pimps”

  43. brett
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 3:29 pm | Permalink

    I support your right to pretend believers in God are somehow being persecuted.

    I support your right to refer to anyone who disagrees with you as ‘elitist’.

    I support your right to believe that a spoiled, rich son of old new england money who never worked a day in his life is actually some sort of Texan ‘everyman’.

    I ALSO SUPPORT CAPS.

    I support teen angst LOL :)

    I support supporting things that require supporting.

  44. mark
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 3:32 pm | Permalink

    Brett – don’t make us look bad. You are lowering yourself to their level.

  45. Doug Skinner
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 3:54 pm | Permalink

    Isn’t posting under someone else’s name “bearing false witness against your neighbor”? What Bible are you self-styled Christians using, anyway?

  46. brett
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 3:56 pm | Permalink

    Please excuse my sudden sense of confusion, but is this mark(visitor), or mark(member) , or is it ‘real warren’ or ‘fake warren’, or one of the other dozen new names that have appeared in the last day or so?

  47. warren
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 4:11 pm | Permalink

    It does get quite confusing when more than 4 people visit this site. Well, there’s a first for everything. I am new to the site but I thought I could have a nice peaceful discussion w/o neocons. Now I see neocons with their warped sense of rightousness.

  48. brett
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 4:26 pm | Permalink

    hmmmm- now that sounds like sarcasm, so you MUST be the ‘fake warren’.
    Unless, of course, ‘real warren’ were to try and trick YOU, by posting as you posting as him, to then make it seem like you had done a lousy job of trying to make him sound like an idiot.
    Then you could retaliate by posting as if it is him posting as if it is you posting as him, and say something even stupider to give the illusion that he can’t pretend to post as you posting as him very well.
    Neat. Good luck with that.

  49. Posted February 10, 2005 at 4:28 pm | Permalink

    my name is brett, I’m a big dummy, la la la!

  50. fake warren
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 4:53 pm | Permalink

    No, I am the fake warren right here. I was actually giving my mom a backrub when that post posted so it wasn’t me. Anyone ever get those edible underwear?

  51. brett as steven
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 4:54 pm | Permalink

    i’m steven. i’m so liberal, i just spilled my latte on my ivy league diploma. oh, how i hate america.

  52. fake warren
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 4:59 pm | Permalink

    I don’t hate America, I just hate JesusLand.

  53. Larry
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 5:08 pm | Permalink

    How could you hate JesusLand?

    That Noah Ark ride alone is worth the price of admission.

    I’ve never seen a better haunted house type ride than the cleanse the holy land ride (whatever it was called.. crusade thing).

    The whole animatronic last supper was sorta lame I guess.. Its pretty much just hall of presidents with Jesus….

    Overall we had a really good time when we went last year, sure its not as big as universal.. and I’m not really sure that paying for miracle water is a good idea, but the kids loved it (the camel races were their favorite).

  54. fake warren
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 5:12 pm | Permalink

    While the kids enjoyed the camel races, I found the camel toes more interesting.

  55. brett
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 5:21 pm | Permalink

    fake warren- nobody said you hate america. fake steven hates america. please don’t try and confuse us. you know that us liberals with our fancy educations lack the ‘horse sense’ of the ‘common man’ (who we also hate), and that we are actually incapable of performing the simplest of mechanical tasks, such as following your logic.

    and where IS jesusland? are you referring to the middle east?

  56. Larry
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 5:23 pm | Permalink

    JesusLand is in Orlando.

  57. brett
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 5:32 pm | Permalink

    by god, you’re right. except it’s actually called “Holy Land”, and discount tickets appear to be available.
    http://www.theholylandexperience.com/

    “It’s been 2000 years since the world has seen anything like this!”

  58. brett
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 5:34 pm | Permalink

    “It’s been 2000 years since the world has seen anything like this!”

    i’d say that’s a pretty damn good motto for a magnetic ribbon sticker, incidentally.

  59. Posted February 10, 2005 at 6:11 pm | Permalink

    “Holy Land ” is amazing (located near the urethra of the penis of the nation that we call Floreeda). Been there just to tell them I was Jewish (supposedly the place was created to convert Jews …nice). The Abraham and his son posters alone were worth the price of admission.

    Oh, “I Support turn signals for Christians”

  60. kenny
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 8:49 pm | Permalink

    “Have you hugged your insurgent today?”

  61. the Meatmen
    Posted February 10, 2005 at 10:54 pm | Permalink

    “Trolling For Anus”

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