Mark Maynard | 2005 | January

wifi bedouin

By Mark | January 24, 2005

I have a feeling that I’d think this project was really fucking cool if I knew the first thing about computers and networking. Not only is there this cool, high-tech backpack thingie, but the website’s got neat graphics with red slashes though Starbucks and McDonalds logos. I think it’s got something to do with dissemenating the wireless internet, and “putting it to the man,” but don’t quote me. (As cool as I think it is though, I think wearing it in public would probably get you two bullets in the head from Homeland Security. Other than that, it’s probably a really good idea.)

Posted in Art and Culture | 2 Comments

rumsfeld’s grab for power and how it may lead us to iran

By Mark | January 24, 2005

In last week’s issue of the New Yorker, investigative journalist Seymour Hersh (the guy who broke the Abu Ghraib torture story) made the claim that the Bush administration has been running clandestine operations in Iran for some time now. Many suggested that Hersh was off base, but then yesterday the Washington Post stepped in to corroborate elements of his story. According to the Post, Donald Rumsfeld has been operating a super-secret “human intelligence” division though the Pentagon for the past two years, and, according to sources, this group has been active in countries like Iran. The group is called the Strategic Support Branch, and, if I understand it correctly, they are like the CIA, only they operate without governmental oversight. (And they may have more latitude with regard to conducting targeted assassinations.) To put it really simply, Rumsfeld has created his own secret CIA inside the Pentagon.

Not surprisingly, some are speculating that this unprecedented concentration of power in one branch of government, under the Secretary of Defense, does not bode well for democracy… A more immediate concern of mine, however, is that this new organization might not be charged, like the CIA has been in the past, to provide unbiased intelligence. In other words, I fear that Rumsfeld could have created in the Strategic Support Branch not an organization to provide good, non-partisan intelligence, but instead an organization with a mandate to deliver intelligence which supports a predetermined course of action.

Posted in Politics | 1 Comment

she wants my hooperman

By Mark | January 23, 2005

A few months ago, I offered a beat-up old cutout of John Ritter as an award for a contest I was holding here at MM.com. As no one won the contest, I never gave the life-sized reproduction of the deceased sitcom star away though… and that may be good news for a young fan of Mr. Ritter’s who found this site by Googling not too long ago. Here’s her first email.

Mark, Hello, my name is Heather. I am a 19 year old college student from Pittsburgh PA who has been ridiculously looking for a life-sized cut-out of my biggest TV crush, John Ritter. I found your website and read about the contest to win the sad looking, shabby cut-out of John Ritter and decided I just had to try to have it! I do, unfortunately, realize that it may have been given away as a prize already, but if you or anyone can help me out by forwarding this message to the prize winner, or just emailing me contact information, that would be wonderful! I’m willing to pay a hefty price for it. I hope you can help me out.

And then, after I wrote back and told her that he was indeed available (for the right trade), she left this comment on the site.

Hi, I would like to say hello to every one, and Happy new year. For those of you who don’t know who I am or have not heard, I am the future second wife of John Ritter (I guess you could say I was widowed before marrage…damn) I contacted Mark about a month ago wondering if he still had the life sized cut-out of John Ritter. To my absolute surprise he did, and I have offered a fare trade for my husband. Mark, I have been thinking over the very busy holiday of what would be the perfect trade…Well I think I finally found one. I have this life-size cut-out of the infamous Pamela Anderson, posing in a Baywatch uniform; looking like the all-american working girl…or something like that. So just let me know if that would be a fair trade and I’ll put Pamela in the mail! Thanks again!

OK, so she’s offering a Pam Anderson cutout. My question to you is this — is Pam Anderson for John Ritter a fair deal? The Ritter, I’m thinking, is probably more rare, and more valuable (given the fact that he just passed away), but the Anderson is probably in better shape. (By the way, doesn’t a two-dimensional cutout of Pam Anderson kind of miss the point?)

So, should I take the deal? Does one of you want a life-sized Pam Anderson? (If so, what would you do for it?) Or, should I ask this young Ritter fan for something else? What do you folks want? How about photos of her with Hooperman every year for the next decade, or every month for the next year, each time in a different location? Do you have ideas? Let’s talk about it. Leave a comment.

(MM.com Paranoia-Watch: Right now, I’m about 40% sure that Heather’s not really a 19 year old college student, but a middle-aged Ebay Power Seller who knows there’s a market for reminders of the famous and dead like these. I just thought I should share that.)

Posted in Pop Culture | 26 Comments

speaking in ribbons

By Mark | January 23, 2005

I wanted to make one that said, “If I really supported the troops, I’d be taking the bus,” but I didn’t think anyone would actually use it. This was my second best idea.

Posted in Politics | 7 Comments

how do i define america

By Mark | January 23, 2005

I just learned about this story from Leighton’s site and had to share it… Apparently a meter maid was seriously scalded the other day in Boston after an irate Starbuck’s customer threw piping hot coffee in her face for having the nerve to ticket his Hummer. No mention of a big “W” sticker, or an “I Support the Troops” magnetic ribbon on the back, but I’ll do some research and see what I can dig up… Anyone care to make a wager?

And here’s a not-too-surprising quote from the story: “Youhanna claimed that he spilled the coffee by mistake after slipping on some ice and falling, a claim that the woman in the Hummer corroborated. But witnesses said he charged at Noviello and threw the coffee.”

Posted in Observations | 4 Comments