Drew Barrymore has infiltrated our beloved Ypsilanti! Man the barricades! Hollow out the children and stuff them with your valuables! Set fire to your homes! Release the toxic cloud from Marsh Plating!

update: Our friend Leighton saw her and said hello. Apparently she was here scouting locations for a film she’s producing about roller derby.

update: OK, Leighton’s wife is sitting next to me at the bar (we’re getting ready to judge Shadow Art Fair entries) and she wants me to mention, in case Ms. Barrymore is listening, that she wants desperately to play the part of a child-hating mom in this film. (As she despises kids, she says it wouldn’t really be acting.) Her ultimate objective is to become a contestant on Dancing with the Stars. All she needs is a chance to be a “D” level celebrity, and this, she figures, is her only realistic chance. (She’s dictating this to me.)

update: I’m available too… In case anyone’s looking… With the right wardrobe, I think I’d make a pretty good ’sensitive dad’ type.

update: Here’s Jennifer, Ms. Barrymore. Doesn’t she look like a child-hating mom?

update: All of this seems to be in response to recent film industry tax incentives enacted by Governor Granholm. Apparently, with things becoming more expensive to shoot in Toronto, which has become the Los Angeles of Canada, it’s believed that some of the work may migrate back to the U.S. And, assuming some portion of these projects don’t require sunshine, there’s a good chance that Michigan might get some of them… This particular project of Barrymore’s, called “Whip It!", had been set to begin shooting in Texas.

update: According to local real estate developer Karen Maurer, the Barrymore location scouts have expressed interest in the rundown rental property of David Kircher’s at 43 South Summit Street. Maurer says they are also looking for a beautifully restored Victorian home and a diner.

update: If I catch Ms. Barrymore, I intend to sneak her around town dressed like a ghost, and keep her hidden in my closet.