Hey, I wonder if they make that in a model that would hold MY favorite beside buddy?

http://www.amazon.com/Hand-Held-Personal-Massager-Vibrating/dp/B000K8ALI8

Now that's something you need to be able to reach in short notice.

DCB

Both sides of the bed! On the one hand, that's great that both parties involved in the marriage aren't gun-o-phobes, but on the other hand, you have to marry a lefty. Ew.

I don't see why you don't just put it under the bed like a normal person and save $40 to spend on emergency silver or a gasmask. Lazy snobs with their super-high beds and short arms...

I have one of these and I find it very useful. I sleep with my cock in it. It's nice, for a change, not to wake up all tangled up in it.

Waking up all tangled in Paw's cock was a lot like this. It destroyed our marriage. If we'd had "the backup" twenty years ago, we might still be together.

My penis has been likened to a hydra. I'm not sure what that means. I think it has something to do with the fact that it's kind of split at the end and, from certain angles, if the lighting is right, looks as though it has multiple writhing heads. They've yet to made a bedside bracket that can hold it.

Thanks for the heads-up Steve. Now we know to bring scissors AND a torch.

I saw this today and though that the Back-up better advertise in it!

http://gardenandgun.com/

I stopped keeping a loaded weapon, or for that matter, an unloaded one in my bedroom after I got all the trip wires around the perimeter of my house set up. I do keep gas masks in all our bedrooms for when the house alarm goes off because it not only announces a house invader but also the automatic dispersal of tear gas in the common areas of my house. The home survival kit is rounded out with rubber boots and gloves because all the door knobs are by that time electrified.

My sidewalk is also booby-trapped, so listen up townshipers.

Those seem to be pretty sensible home defense measures, John. Me and the missus just wear our home/personal defense suicide vests 24/7. Just common-sensical stuff that anyone can do to make themselves feel more secure at home or away.