During the course of planning the upcoming Shadow Art Fair, we came up with what I think were some really great ideas. We talked, for instance, about having a face-painting table for kids where, after asking the little tikes whether they’d prefer butterflies or tiger stripes, we’d invariably respond by giving them little Hitler mustaches. There was also an idea floated of having a booth where people could partake of an absolutely unspeakable sex act that we’d invented, known as a “chocolate unicorn.” My favorite idea, however, was to have a veterinarian there, for the duration of the event, to put people’s pets to sleep. I loved the idea of having flyers screaming, “Have a Pet Euthanized While You Shop. No Questions Asked.” Most of the more creative ideas that we had were shot down by our board of directors, but we were able to sneak a few by them. Most notably, we got a letter off to Santa (smuggled out of the Shadow compound in an intern’s hollow leg), asking that he make an appearance on Friday night, at the opening. So far, we haven’t heard anything back, but we’re hopeful that he and an elf or two will show.