12/21/05

Permalink 12:04:31 am, by mark - Observations, Other

where are our bold thinkers like stalin today?

This just in from MM.com reader Brian Hunter….

The Soviet dictator Josef Stalin ordered the creation of Planet of the Apes-style warriors by crossing humans with apes, according to recently uncovered secret documents.

Moscow archives show that in the mid-1920s Russia’s top animal breeding scientist, Ilya Ivanov, was ordered to turn his skills from horse and animal work to the quest for a super-warrior.

According to Moscow newspapers, Stalin told the scientist: “I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat"…

(I know it sounds really terrifying, but this archival image that I found of a prototype creature really doesn’t look all that scarey, does it?)

What if, instead a nuclear arms race, the second World War had spawned a human-hybrid race? I wonder if we could have come up with something better than just plain gorilla-men, like giant gorilla-men with owl heads and octopus arms?

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: be OH be [Member] Email
I think our Patriot Griffins would've kicked some simian-rooskie ass.

Conspiracy theorists will have a field day wondering how far Ivanov got in his research.

When were the first bigfoot sightings?
PermalinkPermalink 12/21/05 @ 08:28
Comment from: Tony Buttons Esq. [Member] Email
We're attempting to do essentially the same thing now with technology and pharmaceuticals (minus the simian DNA). We're transforming young men into killing machines that don't require sleep, food, etc. (Just look at some of the initiatives that DARPA is funding if you don't believe me.)

As for human-animal hybrids, my money would be on the minotaurs.
PermalinkPermalink 12/21/05 @ 09:44
Comment from: schutzman [Member] Email · http://maproomsystems.org/
If i were making a movie about it, I'd focus more on the interspecies love that must have occurred at this soviet 'breeding' facility. That snippet doesn't say anything about gene splicing, test tubes, etc, so one would have to conclude Ivanov was just putting men and gorillas into stalls together, playing some soft music, and letting nature take its course.
PermalinkPermalink 12/21/05 @ 10:56
Comment from: be OH be [Member] Email
The second act of the movie would begin when the man and gorilla escape and flee through the countryside to find a safe haven where they can live out their forbidden lifestyle.
PermalinkPermalink 12/21/05 @ 12:21
Comment from: Tony Buttons Esq. [Member] Email
Brokeback Silverback Mountain
PermalinkPermalink 12/21/05 @ 12:44
Comment from: Theodore Glass [Member] Email
You can see the humanity in the creature's eyes. That's one of the saddest images I have ever seen.

And you're absolutely right, Brett - somewhere there must have been some hot human on beast action taking place. Given the shortage of men in Russia after WWII, however, my guess is that it was human women being seduced by male gorillas, not the other way around.
PermalinkPermalink 12/21/05 @ 15:55

Leave a comment:

Your email address will not be displayed on this site.
Your URL will be displayed.

Allowed XHTML tags: <p, ul, ol, li, dl, dt, dd, address, blockquote, ins, del, span, bdo, br, em, strong, dfn, code, samp, kdb, var, cite, abbr, acronym, q, sub, sup, tt, i, b, big, small, a>
(Line breaks become <br />)
(Set cookies for name, email and url)
(Allow users to contact you through a message form (your email will NOT be displayed.))

syndicate this site
email me


Fetching comments



In and around Ypsi
Arbor Update
Downtown Ypsi
The Corner Brewery
Leighton
East Cross
EMU Talk
Mouse Musings
Doulicia
Rev George
Suds and Soliloquies
Eric 2.0
The Lynne Show
Common Monkey Flower
90% Crud
Trusty Getto
Sam's Thoughts
Corpus Callosum
Past the College Grounds
Ed Vielmetti
Loose Tea
Growing Hope
Ubu
Homeless Dave
Steve Pierce
Beezy's
Sustainable Ypsi
Two Fell Swoops
Prospect Park
Tales from the Bean
Matt Callow
Urban Homesteader
Hooray Forever
Ypsi City Desk
Ypsi Citizen
Ann Arbor Chronicle
Bike Ypsi

Support MM.com


Blogs
Hamtramck Star
Hauling Secrets
The West Virginia Surf Report
John August
Caliblog
Collin Burton
Dave Pollard
SS Trudeau
Clusterfuck Nation
Podunk's Valet
Srah Blah Blah
Ryan is Hungry
Have Money Will VLog
Naval Gazing
Freshtopia
Great Lakes Law
Supergay Detroit


Political Blogs
Daily Kos
Think Progress
One Good Move
firedoglake
Talking Points Memo
Juan Cole
Progressive Blog Alliance
Suburban Guerilla
Eschaton
Roger Ailes
David Corn
Rude Pundit
John Conyers
Crooks and Liars
Consortium News
Common Dreams
Michigan Liberal
Michigan Messenger



Information Communities
Metafilter
Boing Boing
popurls
TailRank
Monkeyfilter
History News Network
Internet Archive
Wikipedia
Disinfopedia
Corante
The Huffington Post



Credible Sources
New York Times
Washington Post
New Yorker
The Gaurdian
Frontline
Google News
Christian Science Monitor
Village Voice
Atlantic Monthly
Harpers
FreshAir
Bill Moyers
Paul Krugman

Watchdogs
ACLU
People for the American Way
Southern Law Poverty Center
Sunlight Foundation

Arts and Culture
Red Hot Jazz
American Visionary Art Museum
We Make Money Not Art
Current TV
Pre-War Blues
Mercury Theatre
Dismuke's Virtual Talking Machine
WFMU
Arwulf
Learning to Love You More
Ullage Group
Yes Men

Misc

Login...
Register...

Archives

b2evolution