And, yes, everyone in Ann Arbor now apparently knows my secret… I don’t blog because I love my community, but because I’m compelled to by the forces of OCD.

[Thank you to Patrick Dunn for the article, J. Adrian Wylie for the photo, and Reverend Aitor for the illustration.]

Chris Savage: Eclectablog
Ben Connor Barrie: Damn Arbor
Patti Smith: The Palate of Patti
Edward Vielmetti: Vacuum
Mary Bilyeu: Food Floozie
Steven Krause: EMU Talk
Patrick Diehl: What’s the Diehl?
Anne Savage: The Savage Feast
Peter Larson: Freewheel Burning
Christine Barry: Blogging for Michigan
Mike White: The Projection Booth
Ruth Kraut: Ann Arbor School Musings
Sarah Rigg: I Did It So You Don’t Have To
Joseph Schafer: Invisible Oranges
Kenneth Bailey: Michigan Exposures
Chuck Marshall: Life in Michigan
Mark Maynard: Mark Maynard dotcom
Roger Kerson: Driving Growth

If you’re planning to join us, you can RSVP on Facebook.

MARK: Here’s your first question… Were you born in Michigan? And, if not, how old were you when you first moved here, and what were the circumstances surrounding the move?

DUSTIN: I was born and raised in Michigan, specifically Otsego… a small town off US-131, in between Kalamazoo and Grand Rapids. My parents also both grew up in southwest Michigan: my mom in Otsego, my dad in neighboring Allegan. With the exception of a brief stint on my dad’s part in Kalamazoo, they’ve lived in one or the other their entire lives.

MARK: But, if I’m not mistaken, you did live outside the state for a while, didn’t you?

DUSTIN: Yep. I lived in Portland, Oregon for about a year and a half, starting in 2006. Aside from that, I’ve been in Otsego, Kalamazoo, Ann Arbor, or Ypsilanti.

MARK: What brought you back from Oregon? It’s been my experience that people don’t generally return from there.

DUSTIN: It wasn’t the right time. There was life-progress that I thought would be easier to make in Michigan, where I didn’t have the handicap of not knowing what the fuck I was doing. Well, I guess one has that handicap anywhere, but I had a little more direction in Michigan than I was ready to muster in Portland.

MARK: So the conditions weren’t right for you to emerge from your cocoon as a fully-formed, radiantly-beautiful butterfly of a man… but now they are?

DUSTIN: Something like that. It’s a little more banal, though. It’s more that I now feel as though I can economically manage myself a little better, and make smarter choices, compromise with potential clients better… things like that. If it’s a matter of “becoming a man/adult,” it’s only inasmuch as I’m not as sensitive to constructive, or even non-constructive, criticism as an artist/designer… “The customer is always right,” y’know.

MARK: Did this awakening have anything to do with the epic dust-up between you and our mutual friend The Non-Local Banker?

DUSTIN: Yeah, I’ve got to get outta town before I make any other enemies.

MARK: I was just wondering if that’s when you officially gave up, decided that you had to play the game, adopted the “customer’s always right” mindset, and lost your last shred of idealism?

DUSTIN: It was a foregone conclusion. According to Ian Fulcher, I made that leap years ago. He loves to point out my tragic fall from punk idealism to shameless capitalism.

MARK: I think you still had a little fight left in you when you took on the bankers.

DUSTIN: Nah, I have a decent amount of fight left in me. I consider myself a “radical pragmatist.” There’s still a lot of stuff I have a big problem with, though re: capitalism, government, mass media, and the other usual suspects. However, as a friend of mine once said: “If you have cancer, you’re not going to go to the indie rock hospital.” I’m radical when it makes sense. Shooting myself in the foot doesn’t make sense. I’ve done enough of that to be limping for life.

MARK: So, what’s the plan? Back to Oregon? To do what?

DUSTIN: Yep, back to Oregon. Portland specifically for the city amenities, but Oregon in general for the natural beauty and milder weather. With the exception of working at Encore Records, I’ll be doing basically the same things I do here: freelance art and design, DJing parties/weddings/whatever, and writing… Hopefully a lot more of the latter than I do here, although I’m not making anyone, including myself, any promises.

MARK: Are you just learning how to write? Is that a skill you need to be successful in Portland?

DUSTIN: No, I’ve been doing it a long time, though I still feel like I’m learning. I used to write music and culture articles for The Ann Arbor Paper when that was a thing, with varying degrees of aesthetic success. I’ve been trying to write a graphic novel, as well as some other essays and a non-fiction book, but I’m holding myself to really high standards, so nobody has really seen much evidence of the progress. It’s slow going.

MARK: What is it about Oregon that you find compelling, other than the natural beauty and the weather?

DUSTIN: Not much. I mean, I like the “vibe” out there, I suppose. It’s as characteristically lazy and slow as it’s depicted on some sketches on Portlandia, or maybe more like the depiction of Austin in Slacker, although this is less true now that it’s such a hot place to move. It’s just a very comfortable place for me. It should be noted that I don’t give a rat’s ass about the music or art scene out there. There’s plenty of it, but I care about MAYBE 1% of it. It’s less interesting certainly than Detroit, and Ann Arbor and Ypsi when those are going full-steam… I actually think the time is ripe to be doing stuff around here, minus maybe Ann Arbor. That’s not my primary concern, however.

MARK: Since you brought the subject up, what’s your biggest gripe with the Ann Arbor scene? And how do you see it evolving in your absence?

DUSTIN: Well, I don’t really have a gripe about it, from a cultural standpoint; I’m simply not as interested as I used to be in such things, but that’s not the community’s fault. I will concede that I’d like to see more people do something that’s not a rock band, exercise a little more imagination, but that’s not a new feeling nor one that’s any stronger now than at any other time. Besides, if people like doing it, and other people like supporting it, who am I to say? Ann Arbor specifically is admittedly kinda lame at this point, just kind of a yuppie watering hole/undergrad pit stop en route to Brooklyn or whatever, but that’s not why I’m moving. Like I implied earlier, the proximity to Detroit and the tight-knit scene in Ypsi kind of remedy those issues. As for evolution sans moi, I’m sure the area’s propensity for transience will keep things fresh in one way or another. I don’t feel like I’m leaving too much of a mantle to take up, but I’m confident that there will be people around to do something comparable.

MARK: If I didn’t have my roots sunk so deep into Michigan, I’d consider making the move. I’ve always had a fondness for Portland. I know it’s become cliche, but it really is a great place. I just hope that, with so many young, talented people there, you’re able to find gainful employment.

DUSTIN: Me too. My goal is to not be dependent on the city for employment, because you’re absolutely right in your implication that the job market is horrible. It doesn’t have the infrastructure of NYC, San Francisco, and all of the other big cities that “the creative class” tend to migrate toward. The miracle of the internet age, though, is that it doesn’t necessarily matter. If I need to, I have friends who can get me a dumb service job, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I can avoid as much.

MARK: I have to believe there’s always room for someone who can so deftly incorporate gynecologic imagery into his work.

DUSTIN: Hahaha, I was actually just writing the html code for the page on my portfolio that will feature that controversial image.

MARK: What’s left to do before you go? Is there a list of Michigan things that must be accomplished before entering this new phase of life?

DUSTIN: I’m trying to spend a little more time exploring and appreciating Detroit before I leave. I didn’t have a car from 2004-2012, so my visits in that time were pretty limited. I’d also like to get back to the U.P. I also might start a Link Wray-ish instrumental party band for the summer, if I can get my shit/friends together for it.

MARK: So how did you spend your time in Portland when lived out there before? What did you do for a year and a half>

DUSTIN: Drank shitty beer, walked and rode a bike a lot, worked at American Apparel, met my best friend Cait, played in a Replacements/Alex Chilton/T. Rex/Pavement amalgam power trio called FOREVER STOKED, recorded my best record, saw the legendary noise/improv band Smegma multiple times, did some of my worst cartooning since age 18, worked at a toy store, got offered a job at the American Apparel factory in L.A. that I ended up turning down, entertained my first serious suicidal thoughts, drank Everclear, got offered sex in a filthy house-party bathroom (same night as the Everclear), drank a ton of super-good coffee, put my finger in a sea anemone’s “mouth,” and pretended that I had a clandestine relationship with Dave Thomas (founder of Wendy’s) to entertain my hero Ricky Delucco.

MARK: Did Dov make love to you and/or photograph you?

DUSTIN: It never got that far. I was actually supposed to be his assistant’s assistant, but I never flew down for the interview. I’m sure, one way or another, I would have been fucked, though possibly not in a sensual way.

MARK: Is that why you came running back to Michigan… because you were jilted by Dov Charney? And how cool is it that assistants get assistants in LA?

DUSTIN: I actually jilted Dov. I was explicitly informed that casual sex would be an incredibly likely part of the deal, which was hard to turn my back on, but I just couldn’t see myself in L.A… The assistant who was trying to hire me actually died tragically a year and change later, likely due to overexertion from working 22 hour days and drinking endless amounts of Starbucks (but it should be said that that’s conjecture). She was my age. Weird.

MARK: Who is Ricky Delucco? (I’m too lazy to resort to Google.) And what has he done to earn your respect?

DUSTIN: Ricky Delucco doesn’t need to earn respect, he demands it. This is by sheer force of his beautiful aura and gregarious laugh. That said, he’s also an amazing draftsman and designer, one of those people that makes me look like a total chump by comparison, but nonetheless showers my work with praise. He also doesn’t prefer to be called Ricky, but I can’t resist.

MARK: Tell us about this imagined liaison with Dave Thomas.

DUSTIN: The imagined affair with Dave Thomas was just something that came out of a stream-of-consciousness conversation; the specific origins of which are a mystery lost to the sands of time. In other words, “you had to be there,” but besides Rick and myself, those that were there were largely unamused, so maybe being there didn’t help.

MARK: Did you take the person up on the party sex? I ask because I was once made a similar offer and declined. It was the only time I’ve ever been propositioned by an attractive young woman who was completely unknown to me, so I have fond memories of it. I was at a baby shower that had somehow evolved into something much different with the addition of strangers, who had apparently been drinking all day. A nice young woman, after a short conversation, asked me to join her in descending the stairs we were standing next to, and defiling the basement of the unsuspecting homeowner, at which point I had to tell her that I was the homeowner, the basement was already sufficiently filthy, and the woman standing about ten feet from us was my wife. I believe she moved on to someone else… I later had to stop her friend from having sex with another guest in our bathroom.

DUSTIN: I rejected the bathroom sexual advances, but I assure you that this was an accident caused by the aforementioned consumption of Everclear (side note: Art Alexakis of the band Everclear still lives in Portland, or at least he did. My friend Ami, who now owns Brass Tacks Sandwiches, used to work at an ice cream parlor at which Mr. Alexakis was a regular patron. She described him as being haunted by the spectre of defeat at every turn.) The woman who propositioned me had asked me prior if I had a girlfriend. When I said no, she said “SO IF YOU HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE TONIGHT, YOU WOULDN’T BE CHEATING ON ANYONE?”. She then suggested we go wait in line for the bathroom. When it was her turn, she said “would you care to join me?”, to which I responded “pfffft, we can’t both pee at once.” Later that night, I made some very dubious choices with one of my roommates, but I’m going to keep that one vague to protect the innocent.

MARK: Describe your work.

DUSTIN: Basically, I do illustration and design work, and I also moonlight as a DJ playing mostly 45s from the 1950s/60s. Some of the design work is done by analog means (pen and paper, rub-on letters, and the like), but most of it is augmented digitally in some way or another. My over-arching aesthetic is influenced heavily by pre-digital cartoonists and graphic designers (Robert Crumb, Milton Glaser, Seymoure Schwast, George Maciunas, Peter Bagge, Basil Wolverton, etc.). If folks are interested, they can view samples of my work at DustinKrcatovich.com. I also run a small art and sound label called FM Dust, which is currently semi-dormant but will rise again, just like the phoenix.

MARK: Was Ann Arbor too small for both you and Jeremy Wheeler?

DUSTIN: Probably, but he and I super-tight bros from way back when, so I don’t know if we’d see it that way.

MARK: If you could take one person from Ann Arbor with you to Portland, who would it be?

DUSTIN: Tough one. The first person that came to mind is my roommate, Jen Munford.

MARK: Do you feel bad for abandoning her?

DUSTIN: Nah… My departure just increases the likelihood of her continuing to like me. I do most of my sulking and complaining at home.

MARK: Will you be defacing any billboards before you leave?

DUSTIN: I wouldn’t dream of it. Not because it shouldn’t happen, just because I’m a wuss.

MARK: What did you learn from the exchange over the Bank of Ann Arbor’s “non-local banker” campaign?

DUSTIN: Not much. It was fun, if a little distressing, to watch that little gag open up old wounds and latent rivalries that have nothing to with me. Everyone needs to lighten up. Any high-falutin’ commentary from my end notwithstanding, it’s all just a joke.

MARK: Have you ever thought of seducing Dave Thomas’s daughter, Wendy? According to Wikipedia, she graduated from the University of Florida in 1983 with “a bachelor’s degree in consumerism.” I didn’t know that you could major in consumerism.

DUSTIN: I’m pretty sure that’s what most of the students at the University of Michigan are studying right now. That’s why downtown Ann Arbor’s a quasi-corporate food court now, and the closest thing to radicalism you usually see is either half-hearted, or perpetrated by people my parents’ age. I’ve never dated a redhead before, but I’d be intrigued to start any old time.

MARK: I hate to ruin the illusion, but she no longer has the red hair, and looks like this. She is, however, filthy rich.

DUSTIN: Oh, man, I found some really mean comments about her after following those links. Poor rich woman. That said, I think I’ll pass. I did consider becoming a gigolo for middle-aged wealthy widows when I moved to Portland the first time, with the smokescreen of an artist/patron relationship, but I never followed through.

MARK: If you woke up one morning to find that someone had traded your feet for your hands, what would you do?

DUSTIN: There’s no PG answer to that one, my friend.

MARK: Yes, I think you’ll fit right in in Portland.

DUSTIN: I dunno, I’m scared of fixed-gear bikes and I’ve never gone mushroom-hunting, but I’ll do my best.

MARK: What’s the ideal job for you?

DUSTIN: Professional roustabout/drifter who owns a houseboat. I don’t know anything about that, though, so probably cartoonist, although I come in and out of that field of interest, and I worry almost everyday about early-onset arthritis crushing all of my dreams.

MARK: I don’t know it’s of epidemic proportions, but, as you mention suicidal thoughts, I feel as though I should mention that, as nice as Portland is, there seem to be a lot of people leaping off of buildings. It’s something about the rain. I don’t suppose it will be too bad for someone moving from the relatively sunless state of Michigan, but I thought that I should mention it. Be sure to take your vitamin-D and your light therapy lamp, OK?

DUSTIN: Thanks for the concern. There’s no two ways about it: winter in the Pacific Northwest is gloomy as shit. The one positive about snow is that it’s bright white (well, until it’s brown and slushy, anyway), so at least that offsets Seasonal Affective Disorder a teensy bit. That said, it’s usually about 15-20 degrees warmer in the winter in Portland, so it’s a tradeoff.

MARK: It’s at the forefront of my mind at the moment because I just recently got a text from a friend in Portland. Someone had jumped to his death right outside his office window. I suspect that a lot of it is the weather, but I imagine that some folks also move to Portland expecting for their lives to turn around, and then have to deal with reality. But, like I hinted at before, I don’t have any data to support the notion that people are taking their lives in Portland more than anywhere else. For all I know, we have more suicides per capita in Ann Arbor.

DUSTIN: I’ve heard that both Seattle and Portland have exceptionally high suicide rates. Rain and grey can do that to people. I’m steeling myself for it, though.

MARK: Do you have a question for me?

DUSTIN: Have you ever seen Pete Larson naked?

MARK: As you likely know, it’s very difficult to avoid accidental intercourse with one’s bandmates… So, do you have a final comment for the people of Michigan?

DUSTIN: Is it ever! Closing statement: so long, suckers. Nah, nah, barring unforeseen obstacles, Michigan will see me again plenty. This isn’t goodbye, just see ya later.

MARK: Oh, and I’ve just been asked by Concentrate Media, to come out and do some live exit interviews at Connor O’Neils on the 28th. Would you like to join the panel?

DUSTIN: Sure, why the heck not?

update: If you’d like to attend the Concentrate event on the 28th in person, and see me interview the likes of Dusty, Jacqui Robbins and Newcombe Clark, you can sign up here.

[Be sure to check out the rest of our Ypsi/Arbor Exit Interviews.]

There was a lot to like about the event, and I appreciate Michigan Radio’s attempt to tackle such a weighty issue. Sure, it was enormously frustrating, but I think we all knew that was going to be the case when we walked in and bought our beers. We knew that we weren’t going to leave feeling any better about the situation, and we knew that we weren’t likely to arrive at any solutions. Still, though, I picked up bits and pieces that I found incredibly valuable. And, as it turns out, most of these insights came from Joe Schwartz, who, having risen up through the Republican ranks before serving a term in Congress, knows a thing or two about how things are… or at least were… done in Lansing, before everything went to hell at the hands of the Tea Party.

Before sharing Schwartz’s quotes, I should probably mention that, from what I can tell, he now considers himself an Independent, having been forced from elected office by the rising tide on the far-right. So, what he says, I suppose, could be tinged with a hint of bitterness. Still, though, I find it incredibly interesting to hear what old-guard Michigan Republicans think of their party now. With that said, here’s the first of two videos. This one has to do primarily with term limits, and Schwartz’s belief that they’re directly responsible for the radicalization of his former party.

Here’s the transcript.

SCHWARTZ: “The numbers now, in the Senate especially… which is 24 to 12 (Democrat to Republican)… And there was a 10 or 12 seat (Republican) majority int he House as well. That’s a remedy for mischief in an inexperienced, term-limited legislature, where you have a lot of outside pressure, which I think you could probably identify… and so could I… which will remain nameless. And you have a whole bunch of legislators looking at the next election coming, which ain’t that far away, folks. Two years. It’s going to pass like nobody’s business. So the influence to do this… not only right-to-work, but so many other things that were done… to take away women’s rights… in the legislature… and some other things… are typical of term-limited legislatures. And I’ll say again – we’re trying. I’m in a group that’s trying to figure out a way to repeal term limits. Not that I want for people to stay a thousand years in the legislature. You’d have to be really crazy to stay a thousand years in the legislature… but to get some more experience there. And to rebuild our legislature to what it can be, and has been. The legislature is peopled by good people. There aren’t bad people. But it’s a sitution where there’s no leadership. There can’t be, because no one has been there long enough to lead. So, as a result, mistakes are made. And my hope is that, at some point, and it won’t be in my lifetime, but in most of your lieftimes, we will go back to a legislature where there are mentors… where there are people who have seen this happen before, and know it’s either going to work or not work, and people who can stand up to the Governor, whoever the Governor might be at any given time, and people who can resist a whole bunch of outside money that comes in, that thretens these people, especially threatens people with a primary – especially Republicans being primaried from the right. So the dynamic is complex. But a term-limited legislature cramming all of this stuff into a lame duck session was very, very bad.”

I know we’ve been talking a lot about gerrymandering lately, and how imperative it is that we change the way that redistricting is done in Michigan, to ensure that there’s a level playing field going forward, but, as Schwartz reminds us, that’s just part of the problem. It’s not enough to take the power of drawing district lines away from politicians. We also have to make it easier for politicians to stand up to the corporate interests that are constantly threatening to run other, “more conservative,” candidates against them in the primaries, if they don’t do what they’re told. And, as Schwartz says, we need the institutional memory that comes with years of service. While I can certainly sympathize with folks who fought for term limits, as I too am prone to fits of “vote the bums out” anger, I think, in this case, the cure is worse than the disease. The unintended consequences of term limits give us weaker, less experienced politicians, who are more likely to do the bidding of those with the resources to force them from office.

Back to the video… If you watch past the point where Schwartz speaks, you’ll hear Gretchen Driskell correcting Jack Lessenberry, who has, on several occasions, suggested that the unions forced Snyder to pursue the passage of right-to-work legislation when they sought to enshrine collective bargaining in the State’s constitution via Proposal 2. “I don’t believe that Proposal 2 caused the right-to-work vote in (the) lame duck (session),” said Driskell. “That was planned.” (If you’ll recall, RNC Finance Chair Ron Weiser was caught on tape admitting as much.) Driskell then went on to say, “My understanding is that the reason Proposal 2 was put out there was becasue there were so many bills that were being pushed through, and that was the only way to respond.” And she, of course, is right. The assault on labor in Michigan predated the campaign for Proposal 2 by quite some time. And, as such, it’s completely disingenuous to suggest that unions set everything in motion by overreaching against the advice of the Governor. That narrative needs to be put to rest once and for all.

And, with that, I give you the second video, which features Joe Schwartz demanding accountability from those in the MEDC responsible for politicizing the State’s Pure Michigan campaign, by tying it to the recently-passed right-to-work legislation, in a full-page ad in the Wall Street Journal.

SCHWARTZ: “There was a big time failure to communicate. And there should be clear policy in the Governor’s office… and I think there may well be… but it certainly wasn’t obeserved here. You don’t do something like that in an organization that is part of the office of the Governor. Quite frankly, I think the Director of the MEDC should tender his resignation. And the Governor can accept it or not accept it. But that was a horrible miscalculation… You can’t tollerate that. In the executive office, you cannot do it.”

How’s that for validation?

And, yes, I realize that I could have probably gotten 100x the traffic for this post if I’d focused on this second video, and run a headline saying, “Former State Senator Joe Schwartz Says Mike Finney Should be Terminated Over Wall Street Journal Ad,” but, the truth is, as much as I disagreed with the MEDC’s decision to politicize the Pure Michigan campaign, I don’t know that it would necessarily help to force Finney from office. First of all, I’m not convinced that the person to replace him would be any better. And, second, I actually like Mike. Sure, I wish that he’d focus a bit more on fostering small-scale entrepreneurship, instead of trying to lure the next Pfizer to Michigan, but, all in all, I think he’s trying to do the right thing for Michigan… And, speaking of fostering small-scale entrepreneurship, if you’re reading this, Mike, I’d like to invite you to come out on January 29 and hear Michael Shuman speak at the Community Capital Forum. The cost of attendance is only $25, and I suspect that the pay-off could be far greater than what we see from the $144,000 ad in the Wall Street Journal trumpeting the fact that we’re now an anti-union state. If you want, I can even pay for you.

And, here, if you couldn’t make out all of the words, is the speech delivered from the steps of the Capitol by the man calling himself “Dave from Westland”:

“When I went to my first gun rally here in Lansing, in ’96 (or) ’97, we had no ability to conceal carry. No ability to open carry. No ability to buy a high-capacity standard semi-automatic rifle. No ability to buy a machine gun suppressor. And you had to try to retreat if someone broke into your home before you shot him. Those things are all changing. My last rally here, I was actually inside the Capitol with a rifle. I never would have believed it would have been possible, but it was through the efforts of people like yourselves, who took the time from their lives to fight for things that were important to them.”

Yes, my friends, things really do seem to be getting better all the time… Sure, there were a lot of shootings at gun shows on this, our nation’s first annual Gun Appreciation Day, but no one ever said that freedom didn’t have a cost. If we want to live in a society, as I know we all do, where we’re all able to buy assault rifles without background checks, fill them up with dozens of armor-pirecing rounds, and carry them into our local JC Penney, then we should expect that, every once in a while, someone’s going to get a freedom hole in their chest, right?

Sarcasm aside, how fucking stupid do you have to be to plan your ridiculous pro-gun action for the same weekend that sane people everywhere are commemorating the life of a great American civil rights leader who was, you know… SHOT TO DEATH?

Did no one say, “Maybe we should put this off until next weekend?”

But… who knows… maybe that’s exactly the message that they wanted to convey to this audience of angry white men. Maybe this wasn’t just about defending the 2nd amendment, but about reclaiming a weekend from that “sexual degenerate, (and) American-hating communist,” Martin Luther King. I hate to think it, but maybe it’s possible that the image of a threatening black man lying dead from a gunshot wound is exactly what these “patriots” want at the forefront of people’s minds.

…Beck revealed that his intention to “go Galt” is quite literal, unveiling grandiose plans to create an entirely self-sustaining community called Independence Park that will provide its own food and energy, produce television and film content, host research and development, serve as a marketplace for products and ideas, while also housing a theme park and serving as a residential community. At the center — in the middle of the lake that is itself larger than all of Disney Land – Beck (with the help of David Barton) will create a massive “national archive”/learning center where people can send their children to be “deprogrammed” and elected officials can come to learn “the truth”…

David “Hate is a Virtue” Barton, by the way, is the evangelical minister who founded the organization WallBuilders, a Texas-based group that promotes the view that it’s a “myth” that the United States Constitution insists upon a wall of separation between church and state. (You would think they’d call their organization WallRemovers, but maybe they haven’t thought it all the way through.) Barton is probably best known as the bestselling author of the book The Jefferson Lies, which had to be pulled from store shelves by Christian publisher Thomas Nelson recently, when it became clear that much of it was fabricated. (Fortunately, the book, which was voted “the least credible history book in print” by the users of the History News Network website, will soon have a second life, as Glenn Beck has announced that he intends to republish it in spite of the fact that it’s not historically accurate.)

Now, here’s Beck presenting the vision… Prepare to be completely engorged!

So, if you’re an angry, middle-aged white guy, who’s never amounted to much, and know, deep down in your heart, that it’s because big government has stacked the deck against you, now you have something to live for – a Libertarian paradise where rugged individuals can really prosper, unfettered by laws and the societal norms imposed by the liberal elite. Imagine yourself, a big gun on your hip, running a thriving business empire, surrounded by young, adoring, voluptuous women. This could all be yours. You know you deserve it…

Now imagine several thousand of these men, all of whom bought into this fantasy, all moving to the same parcel of fallow farmland in the middle of Texas. It would make Lord of the Flies look like Meatballs.

And here’s my idea: I want to raise enough money through Kickstarter to buy a home in Independence Park with the intention of establishing a small island of sanity… a listening post. And I want to conduct a national search for an undocumented super-gay scientist who can live there, proudly representing our interests, and documenting the experience… Wouldn’t that be the most incredible reality series ever? Who among us wouldn’t wake up each morning and tune in to see which of our favorite characters had decided to “go Galt” by speeding the wrong way down a street in a homemade, coal-burning car?

But, as well all know, this isn’t likely to happen. (Beck just comes up with these insane ideas to drive more traffic to his website and radio program.) Sure, it’s been reported that Beck has bought some land in Texas, and, I’m sure, if he could make a few million at it, he’d be all for it, but I can’t imagine that he’d really want to put himself in a situation where he’d have to be in character 24-7, performing his ‘Obama wants to eat the elderly‘ schtick for every nut who’s inherited enough money to buy a house in what I heard someone refer to as a “survivalist EPCOT.” But I’m keeping my fingers crossed, in hopes that, one day, I can read transcripts of their city council meetings. If you thought the city that Tom Monaghan built in the swamps of Florida was a disaster, you haven’t seen anythign yet. This, my friends, if it actually comes to pass, is going to make Jonestown look like Mayberry R.F.D.. Can you just imagine the kinds of people who would be attracted to move to a town ruled over by Glenn Beck acolytes? Now imagine them all in one city, operating outside of any kind of accepted societal construct. Do you know any Glenn Beck fans? If so, can you imagine them growing their own food, operating their own university, performing their own heart transplants? Would there be traffic lights? I can’t see John Galt, the purely ego-driven protagonist in Atlas Shrugged, stopping for a red light? How about zoning laws? Surely there wouldn’t be any of those. Who, after all, wants “big government” telling them where they can and can’t build their chicken processing plants, and dispose of their chemical waste? And, as I’m sure there wouldn’t be taxes, how would they maintain a fire department? Would it be a for-profit entity that only fought the fires of their wealthy subscribers? And, when it snowed, would volunteers plow the streets? I’ve got so many questions… (And, yes, I realize that state and federal law would come into play at some point, as this would be happening in Texas, and not Ghana, but I like the idea of these folks being left completely to their own devices, putting all of their theories into practice. I suspect they’d succumb to cannibalism alarmingly fast… like within days.)

And, now that I’ve had my say, here’s Beck’s perspective, from GlennBeck.com.

While Independence is very much a dream at this point, the proposed city-theme park hybrid would bring several of Glenn’s seemingly disconnected projects into one place. Media, live events, small business stores, educational projects, charity, entertainment, news, information, and technology R&D – all of these things would have a home in Independence. With the rest of the country and the world going away from the values of freedom, responsibility and truth, Independence would be a place built on the very foundation of those principles. A retreat from the world where entrepreneurs, artists, and creators could come to put their ideas to work. A place for families to bring their children to be inspired… Glenn believes that he can bring the heart and the spirit of Walt’s early Disneyland ideas into reality. Independence, USA wouldn’t be about rides and merchandise, but would be about community and freedom…

[snarky aside: If you really want to see a community "(move) away from the values of freedom," settle down in Independence and try to open a mosque.]

And, lastly, here’s a clip from Glen Beck’s media arm The Blaze:

While the extremely ambitious project, heavily inspired by Walt Disney, is still a dream that this point, that doesn’t mean that Beck’s American Dream Labs aren’t starting to build the pieces.

The streets of America were not paved in gold, they were paved in “people’s dreams and hard work,” Beck said before walking the audience through a sketch of the proposed development. There won’t be a “Gap” or an “Ann Taylor,” Beck noted, although the park would contain a marketplace. It will be a place where people cultivate their visions and ideas. In essence, Independence Park would be a business incubator on a grand-scale revolving around “education, independence, entrepreneurship and apprenticeship.”

And “apprenticeship,” if you’re curious, translates to child labor. (Beck notes in the video above that Benjamin Franklin, for instance, was an apprentice at eight years of age.)

OK, that’s going to have to be in for now… It’s time to close my eyes and dream of Independence. My hope is to have a marketing campaign worked out for Glenn by the time I awake.

update: OK, it still needs a bit of refining, but here’s the tagline that I awoke with. “Independence, USA… come for the child brothels, stay for the gun fights.” Do you like it? If you have better ideas, let me know.

To get a sense of what Lessenberry is likely to say, here’s audio of him speaking in December with Detroit News reporter Daniel Howes about the historic context of the bill, just as it was being pushed through the Michigan legislature.

For what it’s worth, I don’t buy the narrative that Lessenberry is pushing about how the unions, by attempting to pass Proposition 2, had forced Snyder to get behind the lame duck push for right-to-work. I can certainly see why Snyder would like for people to think that, but I believe RNC Finance Chair Ron Weiser when he says that right-to-work was on the agenda from the beginning. Still, though, I appreciate Lessenberry’s mater-of-fact historical take on all of this. As someone who’s inclined to have his outlook clouded by righteous indignation, I find it necessary, on occasion, to listen to people who can keep their cool, and focus on facts.

[note: A shorter, more recent audio piece by Lessenberry on the historical context of right-to-work in Michigan can be found here.]

An unintended loser in all of this, I’m sorry to say, is Michigan’s hospitality industry. The incredibly popular Pure Michigan campaign is one of the few things that our struggling state has going for it, and, by running this ad, I think the Snyder administration has put it in jeopardy. Who in their right mind would take a campaign which, for several years, has endeavored to make the world aware of Michigan’s pristine environmental assets, and decide not only to politicize it in this fashion, but to actually incorporate the fact that we’ve begun down the path of environmental deregulation? Who does that? And, more importantly, who uses the phrase “perfect storm” in an ad campaign that’s trying to convey a sense of confidence about a region? I’ve actually read The Perfect Storm. It’s a book about a desperate fishing boat Captain, who, in hopes of making a big financial score, heads his ship into a colossal storm front in search of an elusive school of swordfish, putting the lives of his crew on the line. And, guess what? There were no survivors! The irony of the Snyder administration referencing it, given what they’ve done to jeopardize the future of our state over the course of the past several months, I think, is hilarious.

[Special thanks to Brandon Zwagerman for responding to my late night bat signal with a scan of the Wall Street Journal, and to MM.com reader Curt Waugh for contributing the Perfect Storm photo.]

update: It gets even more hilarious. While strutting on the national stage and broadcasting to the world that we’re now a right-to-work state, the Republicans in Lansing are simultaneously saying that we need to put all of this behind us and move on. “I want to see the Legislature turn the page,” Speaker of the Michigan House Jase Bolger told The Detroit News. “I want to see us go forward and focus on the people we serve instead of focusing on party politics.”

update: This meme apparently has legs. Since writing about it here, the story has now appeared on Eclectablog, The Huffington Post, Deadline Detroit, and MLive.

Huckabee isn’t the only one using this tragedy to his advantage. Some in Michigan are using the events in Connecticut to illustrate, if you can believe it, the need for more guns in schools. They’re using this event to pressure Governor Rick Snyder into signing Senate Bill 59 into law. The bill, which was coincidentally passed by the Senate early Friday morning, just hours before the shootings in Connecticut, would allow for gun owners to carry weapons into schools, stadiums, and other areas where, up until now, they’d been outlawed. “This kind of tragedy is hard to process, but if one person – a faculty member or a parent – could legally carry, at least it could have limited some of the mayhem,” said Rob Harris, media director for Michigan Open Carry Inc., yesterday. “This legislation has to be passed to at least have a fighting chance against the evil in this world.” (Snyder has said that, in light of yesterday’s tragedy, he’ll hold off on signing the bill for the time being. If you have thoughts on the matter, you can contact the Governor here.)

As shameful and self-serving as this behavior is, however, it pales in comparison with what we’re seeing from member of the media, who wasted no time sticking their cameras in the faces of horrified children and hounding the families of the deceased, in hopes of capturing on tape the gut-wrenching howls of pain that would keep morbidly-fascinated viewers from switching channels. While it’s always been the case in the media that “what bleeds leads,” it seems as though people are finally starting to come to some consensus around the belief that, in cases like this one, restraint should be shown, as it’s not only the respectful thing to do, but could actually help prevent these kinds of things from happening in the future. Here with more on that, is a clip from Roger Ebert’s 2003 review of Gus Van Sant’s film about the deadly school shooting in Columbine, Colorado, Elephant.

…Let me tell you a story. The day after Columbine, I was interviewed for the Tom Brokaw news program. The reporter had been assigned a theory and was seeking sound bites to support it. “Wouldn’t you say,” she asked, “that killings like this are influenced by violent movies?” No, I said, I wouldn’t say that. “But what about ‘Basketball Diaries’?” she asked. “Doesn’t that have a scene of a boy walking into a school with a machine gun?” The obscure 1995 Leonardo Di Caprio movie did indeed have a brief fantasy scene of that nature, I said, but the movie failed at the box office (it grossed only $2.5 million), and it’s unlikely the Columbine killers saw it.

The reporter looked disappointed, so I offered her my theory. “Events like this,” I said, “if they are influenced by anything, are influenced by news programs like your own. When an unbalanced kid walks into a school and starts shooting, it becomes a major media event. Cable news drops ordinary programming and goes around the clock with it. The story is assigned a logo and a theme song; these two kids were packaged as the Trench Coat Mafia. The message is clear to other disturbed kids around the country: If I shoot up my school, I can be famous. The TV will talk about nothing else but me. Experts will try to figure out what I was thinking. The kids and teachers at school will see they shouldn’t have messed with me. I’ll go out in a blaze of glory.”

In short, I said, events like Columbine are influenced far less by violent movies than by CNN, the NBC Nightly News and all the other news media, who glorify the killers in the guise of “explaining” them. I commended the policy at the Sun-Times, where our editor said the paper would no longer feature school killings on Page 1. The reporter thanked me and turned off the camera. Of course the interview was never used. They found plenty of talking heads to condemn violent movies, and everybody was happy…

For what it’s worth, The Chicago Sun Times has apprently changed policies. Today, not only is mention of this mass killing on their front page, but it’s all that’s on their front page.

As for Ebert’s comment, I think he goes a bit too far when he absolves the entertainment industry of all blame. While I suspect that the prevalence of murdertainment in film, television and video games does play something of a role, though, I think that he’s right that the news media, in cases like this, is probably the bigger culprit. (Ebert argues that The Basketball Diaries couldn’t possibly have played a role, as very few people saw it. As much as I like and respect Ebert, if that’s the only argument that he has as to why entertainment doesn’t influence acts such as these, it doesn’t hold up very well when you start to consider that first-person shooter games, for instance, are now pervasive throughout society. I’m not suggesting that these games, which sell in the millions, are responsible for the events of yesterday, but only that Ebert’s “very few people actually saw it” defense, doesn’t really hold much water in 2012, when murder has become so much a part of our shared popular culture. Speaking of which, I was watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade with my daughter a few weeks ago, and, during it, there was an ad for a new television series which prominently featured the lifeless body of a young murder victim. That, I think it’s pretty safe to say, wouldn’t have happened during the parade even a few years ago.)

Here, with more on the role and responsibility of the news media, is a short video essay by British cultural critic Charile Booker, who argues that we should make such coverage as boring as possible, and not mention the killers by name.

And, while I don’t really want to argue gun control at the moment, here’s a link to some facts on gun ownership and gun violence that I thought that you might find of interest. (I’m particularly drawn to the stats concerning the number of deaths attributable to firearms in the United States as opposed to in other so-called “developed” nations. While it’s certainly true that there are a number of factors at play, such as country size, and age of population, one has to wonder how countries like Japan can have a few dozen gun deaths per year to our over 10,000.)

Hopefully, in the days and weeks to come, we can come together, and, as the President has said, “take meaningful action.” And I don’t just think that means taking away people’s guns, although I do think that restrictions on assault rifles are long overdue. For instance, I think that we need to have a serious conversation on the availability of comprehensive mental health care in this country. And, I think that we need to demand that our national media act in the best interests of the people. Having them, on the day of an event like this, broadcasting false information and accosting children, is absolutely unacceptable. I understand the nature of the business, and that they need ratings to survive, but we can demand more of them, and we can do a better job of fighting the urge to participate when they go to far.

And, lastly, here’s hoping that, in the wake of this, we all treat our kids and our teachers a little better.

update: Obama addressed the community of Newtown last night. Here’s a clip from the transcript, in which he promises to take action. (It should also be noted that Diane Feinstein has promised to bring an assault weapons ban to a vote in the Senate.)

…Can we say that we’re truly doing enough to give all the children of this country the chance they deserve to live out their lives in happiness and with purpose?

I’ve been reflecting on this the last few days, and if we’re honest with ourselves, the answer’s no. We’re not doing enough. And we will have to change. Since I’ve been president, this is the fourth time we have come together to comfort a grieving community torn apart by mass shootings, fourth time we’ve hugged survivors, the fourth time we’ve consoled the families of victims.

And in between, there have been an endless series of deadly shootings across the country, almost daily reports of victims, many of them children, in small towns and in big cities all across America, victims whose — much of the time their only fault was being at the wrong place at the wrong time.

We can’t tolerate this anymore. These tragedies must end. And to end them, we must change.

We will be told that the causes of such violence are complex, and that is true. No single law, no set of laws can eliminate evil from the world or prevent every senseless act of violence in our society, but that can’t be an excuse for inaction. Surely we can do better than this.

If there’s even one step we can take to save another child or another parent or another town from the grief that’s visited Tucson and Aurora and Oak Creek and Newtown and communities from Columbine to Blacksburg before that, then surely we have an obligation to try.

In the coming weeks, I’ll use whatever power this office holds to engage my fellow citizens, from law enforcement, to mental health professionals, to parents and educators, in an effort aimed at preventing more tragedies like this, because what choice do we have? We can’t accept events like this as routine…

SNYDER: I’ve never said that unions are bad for business. And I don’t believe this is actually anti-union. If you look at it, I believe this is pro-worker, because the way I view it is, is workers now have freedom to choose…

[...gasps and laughter...]

WOLFFE: Hang on. Hang on a second. Are you serious? Are you serious?

Given Snyder’s role in all of this, I’m not inclined to feel sorry for the guy, but I can’t help but feel a twinge of pity when I see him on the national stage, though, desperately trying to peddle this insultingly ridiculous narrative about how he had to jam right-to-work legislation through during the lame duck session, because he cares about workers, and wants unions to be stronger. I just wish that someone in our local media had had the guts last week to laugh in his face, when he first floated the idea that he was motivated to do this because of deeply-held “pro-worker” sympathies, which, for some reason, had just recently come bubbling up to the surface. I don’t know that it would have derailed the attempt to pass right-to-work legislation, but I would have loved to have seen a serious-looking, well-regarded veteran reporter, during Snyder’s press conference last week, laugh so hard that he vomited. Maybe, just maybe, it could have been enough to nudge things back int he direction of reality a little bit.

Could it be that laugher is perhaps the tool we’ve been looking for? What would happen if we made it a point to laugh uproariously every time we heard a Republican open his or her mouth, clutching on to those around us, for fear of collapsing onto the floor, in hysterical fits of laughter, fighting for breath, with tears streaming down our faces? Maybe that would break though the noise, and get to the heart of things in a way that signing petitions and commenting on Facebook just can’t. Maybe, I’m thinking, we just need to draw attention to how hilariously insane this all is.