Last year, our friend Logan, who brews all of the delicious beer at the Corner Brewery, decided to make two batches of special beer for the big Krampus constume party. As you may recall, one the beers was naughty, and one was nice. Sadly, as I was knocked unconscious by a flying disco ball at some point in the evening, I don’t remember either. I’m told, however, that one was delicious, and the other tasted like it was brewed with severed, fungus-covered feet. (The person who told me that also told me that he had multiple glasses of the stuff, so fungus-covered feet must not be that bad.) Anyway, the plan is to do the same thing again this year – to make one sweet and lovely beer, and one that is incredibly evil. And, toward that end, Logan has decided that he’ll take suggestions from you guys. So, if you have an idea as to what the perfect “naughty” beer would taste like, or what what kind of flavors you might want to encounter in the ideal “nice” beer, you can either leave a comment here, or drop a card in the box on the bar at the Brewery (pictured above). All suggestions will be read by Logan on December 2nd, and the resulting beers will be available the night of December 17, during the big Krampus party.
I don’t know how it would taste, but I’m suggesting that the naughty beer be brewed with goat horns, and the beard of Patrick Elkins. Linette says it should be infused with cigarette butts. (Logan has mentioned to me that another brewery, on the western side of the state, makes a beer with a smoked pig’s head in it. He described it to me as “greasy.”) As for the nice beer, we’re thinking grapefruit and cardamom… So, what are your ideas?
Here, if you aren’t familiar with Krampus, is our writeup about the event from Facebook.
The Krampus Costume Ball (presented by the Shadow Art Fair) is coming up, on Saturday, December 17 beginning at 7pm at the Corner Brewery (720 Norris Street), and ending at Woodruff’s (36 E. Cross), both in Ypsilanti.
Krampus is St. Nicholas’s evil sidekick. He’s a demon that tortures bad children. In Europe, horned creatures take to the streets before Christmas, rattling chains and shrieking, reminding children that their bad behavior has consequences. Here in Ypsi, it’s not quite so evil. For the most part, we just dance and drink. There is some wandering through the streets at midnight, though, alongside the Detroit Party Marching Band.
So, make yourself a costume, come to the Corner Brewery, dance, drink beer, have fun, march through Ypsi, and end up at Woodruff’s for a drag show. And it’s all free, except for the booze. What could be more fun?
See you on the 17th.
Oh, and for the rest of this month, remember that you can save two dollars on a pizza at the Corner Brewery by using this coupon.
18 Comments
I tried to write this the other night, but I was drunk and my fingers wouldn’t work. Have the bad one be Hot for Teacher or Bad Teacher or something, made with red hots or chipolte peppers or both. Teachers drink for free all night!
:)
I stopped drinking the beer for fear it all has the faint tang of Gov Snyder’s balls.
It might not taste great, but I’d love to have a beer that was made from Synder’s balls.
I thought Tree Fort Beer was pretty bad, maybe they could use that?
Actually, I think some type of “Fruit Cake” beer would be fitting for the naughty beer. Fruit cake with a hint of frankincense.
I like the Tree Fort. It’s not my favorite, but I don’t consider drinking it a punishment.
As for naughty beer ingredients, how about coal and switches?
Just use goat cheese…that shit tastes like sweaty ball sacks.
I suggest the nice beer be a good strong hoppy ale. And for the naughty, a weak lager. To make it especially nasty, you could include some peanut butter. I don’t understand how people can eat that; it’s like earwax.
Brewing bad beer is stupid. The corner will make far more money by brewing good beer.
The idea isn’t to make an undrinkable beer, Pete. The idea is to make two great beers; one that brings to mind nice things, and one that brings to ming naughty things. No one is setting out to make a bad beer.
And I think earwax is a good idea, Doug. Can you send some over to Michigan?
i agree with mark.
the corner should try and make a drinkable beer for a change.
Maybe the naughty beer could be made of corn that has been masticated and spit into warm water by girls ages 8-10?
GOOD:
Fudge
Grandmother hugs
BAD:
Matted chest hair
Wolf peni
“pieces of Pats beard” lmao-! Its so true.
I know Logan is capable of amazing and incredibly unique brews-stinky fungus or not, it was no mistake. I’d be more than willing and able to drink some “Elkin beard Brew”, in fact I’d be happy to pay top dollar for that kind of classy shit. Perhaps other inventives or “crafty” ingredients might include the musk of thrift stores, glitter from the Elbow deep events, and carpet bits from the most high traffic areas of the dreamland theater. Yikes.
As far as the rest of the crowds go (those unaware of the beards mystical powers),
maybe something sweet for the nice brew? Chai has always been a huge favorite of mine. Five Star is very yummy too.
BAD: garlic
GOOD: cloves
Cloven hooves.
Cinnamon.
Voss Sauce.
(That last one is an inside joke. Sorry.)
They has a “Chips N Salsa” beer at Corner Brewery once that was honestly the worst beer I ever tasted. It tasted exactly like, you guessed it, tortilla chips and tomato salsa. It was truly godawful. I nominate that one for Naughty.
Blech. I’m getting sick again here even typing this (it was so bad I puked a little in my mouth when I drank it!)
Good: Gingerbread Milk Stout
Bad: Coal in your Stocking Porter made with coffee and fruitcake.
I would drink them both, and really want to!
NICE: Spearmint Agave Orange Pale Ale
NAUGHTY: Smoked Birch Beer Porter