Polishing shoes for the first time in my life

I got my first real, decent pair of shoes about six months ago, on my 51st birthday. They were a gift from Linette and the kids, and I’ve worn them just about every day since I got them. They’re black leather shoes, and they’re nicer than anything I ever would have gotten for myself… Well, a few weeks ago, a guy at work stopped by my desk, asked me about them, and, then, in the nicest way possible, suggested that I should take better care of them, saying that, if I did, they could last for decades. So, I did a little research, ordered some Blackrock Leather ‘N’ Rich, and spent this evening on my porch, polishing my shoes while listening to the Flaming Groovies and James Brown. It’s a small thing, but, as I’ve never talked about shoe polishing on the site, I thought that I’d mention it. So, if you’ve been waiting for the last 16 years for me to post something about shoe polishing, or the perfect music to polish shoes by, here’s your opportunity!

Or, if you don’t have anything to say about the proper care of quality leather footwear, I guess we could talk about dementia, and the fact that our President said the following today when announcing the launch of a new government program to address kidney disease. “You’ve worked so hard on the kidney,” Donald Trump told the assembled White House guests. “Very special — the kidney has a very special place in the heart. It’s an incredible thing.” Personally, I think this can best be explained by stupidity, but consensus – at least judging by Twitter – seems to be that it’s dementia. At any rate, I suspect we can come to a consensus in the comments section and put this to rest once and for all. So, have at it.

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38 Comments

  1. iRobert
    Posted July 10, 2019 at 9:53 pm | Permalink

    We’re you walking around barefoot all this time?

    I’d probably call those boots, by the way.

  2. John Brown
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 5:13 am | Permalink

    Nice. There’s great satisfaction in well polished leather. Keep them clean and oiled, just like your firearms.

  3. iRobert
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 6:13 am | Permalink

    I guess those could actually be properly referred to as shoes or boots. Apparently as high-topped shoes, it’s also fair game to call them boots. It also seems that all boots can be referred to as shoes, at least according to some sources.

    I’m trying to find a way that we can all disagree over this post and call each other names.

  4. Eel
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 7:33 am | Permalink

    I don’t think it’s dementia. I just don’t think that he cares. He knows it doesn’t matter all what he says, and he’s never been one to prepare for anything. And I don’t blame him. If I knew that I could talk about airplanes being pivotal to the revolutionary war and not pay any price for it, I don’t think I’d stress about shit like this either.

  5. Jean Henry
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 8:14 am | Permalink

    ‘Consensus in the comments section’ is the hew ‘cold day in hell.’

    Ps polishing shoes was one of my favorite chores as a kid. It usually proceeded a trip to Philadelphia or a major holiday. I don’t do it anymore. I do put bear grease on my winter boots every fall. And my kids obsess about cleaning their sneakers. I await the day you get a shoe shine in a train station. It could become a new interview series.

  6. Frosted Flakes
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 8:33 am | Permalink

    I think he might have been referring to the “importance” of kidneys (via a commonly understood phrase). I don’t think he was referring to a physical place in the heart. What do I know? I thought Marks shoes were boots.

    Mark should promote this new narrative. It might have boots like traction. It might have boots like longevity if he oils it a bit.

    Not to complicate things but there is controversy over whether or not all oils applied to leather degrades leather more rapidly. Sorry.

  7. Dogmatic Dolt
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 8:38 am | Permalink

    Aloha, shoe shine boys are definitely a thing of the past. When I was kid they would shine your shoes while you were getting a haircut. A cut and a shine was not uncommon. The last shoe shine stand that had humans running it that I can remember was in the basement of the Fisher building. It disappeared about 15 years ago. You might still be able to find one in the Loop in Chicago, or in Manhattan. Mass production of throw away shoes has done in yet another occupation.
    My Red Wings are easily 30 years old. On there third set of soles. So take care of those shoes MM, and you can get buried in them—sent my dad off in his 60 years old riding boots.

    I’m going with dementia. He is in so many ways like Ronnie Raygun.

  8. Frosted Flakes
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 8:41 am | Permalink

    Mark probably will not notice his shoes degrading faster by oiling them regardless–even if they are . People might notice Mark oiling his narratives though, but he will not notice them noticing, and he will probably fail to notice the consequences of his failure to notice too.

    Mark really thinks of these as shoes? That’s fine, I guess.

  9. John Brown
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 8:58 am | Permalink

    On top of the lifelong Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the onset of syphilitic dementia with complications of cocaine and Adderall abuse, there’s probably a pinch of Dissociative Disorder thrown in at this point as a defence mechanism for the stress associated with knowing he’ll eventually be strung up like Mussolini.

    But his shoes will probably look fantastic……..

  10. Bob
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 10:03 am | Permalink

    Let’s talk about how the Flamin’ Groovies are just about America’s greatest overlooked rock and roll bands

  11. Anonymous
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 10:18 am | Permalink

    Anyone ever get the idea that FF is a wee bit too obsessive about Mark’s writing? It is really creepy and weird.

  12. Hyborian Warlord
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 10:18 am | Permalink

    Amazing: the Internet Pussy and I agree on something!

    Perfect summer day to shake some action

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaN1L2KSvGg

  13. EOS
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 10:43 am | Permalink

    So you put beige cream on black boots/shoes? And what’s the brush for?

    All you need is a can of Kiwi, a diaper, and a small amount of water. (The can lid is the perfect receptacle) And if you can’t get a higher level of gloss on those boots you won’t get your weekend pass.

    Hard to believe an adult has never polished shoes. Anyone else here in that category?

  14. Bob
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 10:48 am | Permalink

    Fucking Warlord. It’s all about the original Roy Loney, hard rocking Groovies. Pre- Shake Some Action. Numb nut can’t even get music right.

  15. Frosted Flakes
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 10:50 am | Permalink

    When did you formulate this feeling / observation Anonymous? Was it one of those times when you were reading and commenting on my comments? You make a lot of comment about my comments don’t you Anonymous?

    Lots of innuendo and gaslighting seems to come from the Anonymous handle. Anonymous might want to self reflect more on why that is the case. Anonymous might also want to consider why he avoids self-reflection like it is the plague. Asking yourself more questions will be good for you. Do it and report back your findings to us, ok?

  16. Hyborian Warlord
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 10:55 am | Permalink

    It’s not all about that by a long shot. Too bad your guy wasn’t around to play on one of their best songs. Shake Some Action is a straight classic no doubt.

  17. Hyborian Warlord
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 11:04 am | Permalink

    That’s funny you answer to Internet Pussy hahaha! ‘Cause that’s what you are, right? Once you threaten online to beat someone’s ass in real life and then you chicken out that is what you are forever.

  18. Dogmatic Dolt
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 11:23 am | Permalink

    Aloha EOS, Clearly MM is the product of bad parenting. We had to shine and polish our shoes Saturday night for Sunday Mass. Since MM was deprived in his childhood, I’m sure he does not have a clue on how. Here is a tutorial so he can get it done right.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20Motb54GJI

  19. iRobert
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 11:27 am | Permalink

    We could have charity boxing matches. I wouldn’t mind getting my face beat in by EOS if the money raised went to a good cause.

    Dogmatic Dolt, less than ten years ago there was a guy with a shoe-shining business located in the hallway to the East Congress Street entrance to the First National Building in downtown Detroit. He did an excellent job of polishing a pair of shoes, and in far less time it would take any of us armatures.

  20. Anonymous
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 11:50 am | Permalink

    HW and EOS are more boot lickers than boot polishers.

  21. Hyborian Warlord
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 11:57 am | Permalink

    Jean or Anonymous or whatever it is is going to be licking my boots…if I let her. Either way she will kneel before me. The heat is on. Both Clinton’s are in hot hot water. This Epstein shit is going to sink them and then Jean will have no choice but to get down and actually attempt to lick my boots as she promised. I’d say a thousand bucks is a measly settlement considering alll the harassment she dished out but I’ll take it.

  22. Jcp2
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 12:08 pm | Permalink

    You can still get a live shoe shine at the airport. The cobbler in downtown Ann Arbor as well as at Briarwood Mall will also do it, but as a drop off service.

  23. Anonymous
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 12:09 pm | Permalink

    Have you followed Jean’s social media posts? There’s some good intel there.

  24. Frosted Flakes
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 12:10 pm | Permalink

    “If I let her.”

    It’s going to be a judgment call depending, I imagine, on how much you care about the particular pair of boots you are wearing at the time.

    Of course she will probably accuse you of being a misogynist if you don’t actually let her lick your boots.

  25. Anonymous
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 12:21 pm | Permalink

    HW will lick the boots of Trump all day long like any good puppy dog.

  26. anonimal
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 12:28 pm | Permalink

    What kind of shoes are they?

  27. Sad
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 1:05 pm | Permalink

    I’ve been really impressed with Mayor Pete’s footwear.

  28. John Brown
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 2:15 pm | Permalink

    HW and FF,

    Aren’t you two at the social media summit polishing tRumps knob? Use gloves.

  29. Frosted Flakes
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 3:16 pm | Permalink

    I’m sure the people that have chosen to be allies with fake John Brown will draw some comfort from the fact that, if and when, the time comes that they are in an actual foxhole with the guy, that they can rely on his top notch sense of humor to lift their spirits during the occasional lull in the good ole fire fight.

    Fake John Brown is all yours–fine people at MM.com! Have fun figuring out how it all happened and have fun pondering how you could have easily avoided FJB’s foxhole and the proximity to all of his dork-brained jokes. Are they even jokes? You imagine me jacking off Trump’s penis–referencing a story about a supposedly trafficked child who believes she was trafficked and molested?

    Funny guy. My stomach hurts it is so funny.

  30. ElsieGal
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 5:38 pm | Permalink

    Great shoes/boots! The brush looks perfect, too. We have my husband’s grandfather’s personal shoeshine box and assorted brushes he kept, and they work wonders on buffing fresh polish on well-loved boots and shoes. It’s amazing how much wear one can get out of good leather shoes and boots just by giving them some attention, and shoe polishing is a pretty rewarding and easy manual task. If you’d rather leave it to a pro, I highly recommend the guy in Briarwood next to VonMaur/H&M (I think it’s The Town Cobbler)–he’s done amazing work for us: polishing, sewing, repairing, new soles, etc., and for crazy cheap. Thanks Mark!!!

  31. John Brown
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 5:56 pm | Permalink

    Flakey Fascist, polishing someone’s knob refers to the brass door knobs at West Point type places. You’re gross. I had know idea how you bootlickers misuse the term. Eew.

    When progressives are empowered and fearless there will be no need for foxholes. We’re smarter, have more resources, and more skills. We just haven’t felt threatened yet to fully commit to the fight against a smattering of fetal alcohol Nazis.

  32. Frosted Flakes
    Posted July 11, 2019 at 6:41 pm | Permalink

    Ohhhh. Referencing Trump’s West Point brass door knob polishing duties. Very funny stuff.

    Not as funny as Fetal alcohol syndrome + references to child molestation but still equally hilarious.

    Dude, let me clue you in on something: If shit hits the fan the people you consider “your people” are going to immediately steal your weapons/ survival gear and discard you–rather than spend a second in the bunker or fox hole with your annoying and corny ass.

    #doorknob

  33. Posted July 11, 2019 at 8:08 pm | Permalink

    My dad was a Navy man. He knew how to polish shoes. And he showed me as a kid. With that said, I don’t think I ever did it myself until yesterday. I’ve had leather shoes before. They just weren’t that great, and I never cared about them all that much.

  34. John Brown
    Posted July 12, 2019 at 8:10 am | Permalink

    I’m hardly making light of fetal alcohol syndrome. It’s a super serious problem, which like poverty, poor education, radical religious indoctrination, physical and sexual abuse, can make it impossible for the individual to become a rational contributing Citizen. America is rife with these problems, ergo Agent Orange.

  35. Frosted Flakes
    Posted July 12, 2019 at 8:38 am | Permalink

    You are not making fun of fetal alcohol syndrome and child molestation but you are using those two serious problems within your jokes in an insensitive way.

    You behave like a typical d-bag but with a twist. The twist is your progressive alignments but you are still a d-bag. I promise you that “your people” will steal your weapons and discard you rather than spend a second in a foxhole with you. Even if you can ensure their survival they will discard you because spending time with your d-bag personality will not be worth the trade-off.

  36. Frosted Flakes
    Posted July 12, 2019 at 8:39 am | Permalink

    #dorkbag

  37. Dogmatic Dolt
    Posted July 12, 2019 at 8:51 am | Permalink

    Aloha FF, “those two serious problems within your jokes in an insensitive way.” I never thought you were part of the pc police. But I see name calling is still an acceptable means of communicating for you.

  38. Frosted Flakes
    Posted July 12, 2019 at 9:00 am | Permalink

    Some people need mirrors more than others. Fake John Brown might thank me someday.

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