What would you do with a hideous animatronic Trump?

I just watched video of Disney’s new animatronic Trump, and they apparently didn’t take my advice. The robotic Trump doesn’t, as I’d suggested, shove his way past his distinguished presidential predecessors in order to get front and center on the stage, like he did earlier this year at that NATO summit in Brussels. The Disney imagineers, however, didn’t do Trump any favors in creating his likeness, which I’ve heard described as resembling “a 71-year-old Chucky doll.” While I’ve yet to hear complaints from the Trump camp, I suspect that we’ll soon hear Jeanine Pirro calling for a boycott of all Disney products, or, better yet, a “purge” of disloyal Disney imagineers… Right now, though, I can’t help but wonder what might become of this animatronic Trump once the man he’s modeled after has been driven from power. Will Disney simply put him in an orange jumpsuit and leave him where he is, or will they take him off the stage altogether? And, if that’s the case, one wonders if they have a policy like Chuck E. Cheese, where, as I just recently learned, retired characters are required to be viciously destroyed. Assuming that’s not the case, one wonders where this terrifying Trump automaton might find itself a decade or two down the road. If I had to guess, I’d say it’ll eventually wind up in some kind of roadside attraction in rural Florida, maybe a third-rate Westworld kind of place… maybe reciting lines about Obama’s birth certificate for racist white tourists, or maybe just servicing long haul truckers in a filthy robot brothel… Here’s a question for you. If you were to come into the possession of Disney’s animatronic Trump, where would you place it, and what would you program it to say and do?

[note: I know I should be writing about more serious things right now. The U.S. Senate is getting ready to follow the lead of the House and pass what it most likely the worst piece of legislation since the Fugitive Slave Act, a bill that will not only shift billions of dollars from working Americans to the most wealthy, and leave some 13 millions people without their health care, but also set the stage for the slashing of social safety net programs like Medicare and Medicaid. I just can’t, though. I don’t want to read anything right now that might force me to look at Paul Ryan’s smirking, lying face.]

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16 Comments

  1. Posted December 19, 2017 at 10:30 pm | Permalink

    Or here’s an even better question. What would you do if you saved your whole life to visit the brothel at Westworld, having heard how awesome it was from your friends and coworkers, only to find that the only robot they had working during your stay was the Disney Trump in a corset?

  2. Posted December 19, 2017 at 10:40 pm | Permalink

    I’m terribly disappointed in Disney. I really, really wanted to see robot Trump shove his way past Martin Van Buren like he was the Prime Minister of Montenegro.

  3. site admin
    Posted December 20, 2017 at 9:40 am | Permalink

    What happened to Anton LaVey’s animatronic bar patrons? Trump would be a great addition.

    http://markmaynard.com/2011/08/anton-lavey-drinking-with-animatronic-alcoholics/

  4. Eel
    Posted December 20, 2017 at 9:52 am | Permalink

    Robotic bathroom attendant at an inner city woman’s health clinic.

  5. anonymous
    Posted December 20, 2017 at 10:00 am | Permalink

    I would have him travel across the United States on the back of a pickup truck for people to throw rotten fruit at.

  6. Kit
    Posted December 20, 2017 at 10:21 am | Permalink

    In the trashcan with Oscar the Grouch on Sesame Street?

  7. Max
    Posted December 20, 2017 at 10:26 am | Permalink

    Just to lighten things up a bit. Here’s the animatronic Trump with the Access Hollywood audio:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YjQ4N6JZVo

  8. Associated Press
    Posted December 20, 2017 at 10:40 am | Permalink

    “House Speaker Paul Ryan is acknowledging “nobody knows” if the sweeping tax cuts Congress is enacting will produce enough economic growth to fend off soaring federal deficits”

    https://twitter.com/AP_Politics/status/943464703321362432

  9. Jean Henry
    Posted December 20, 2017 at 10:44 am | Permalink

    Can they make all the presidents in the background simultaneously puke?

    Otherwise, I think Eel is onto something. Some grand humiliation. The reversal of hierarchies is a plus. I’d like to see him apologize. A perp walk would make me very happy. I definitely don’t want to see Trump in a corset, and neither does anyone else. Maybe tied and bound and being flogged by Putin, who ignores his safe word.

    Or how about if he just fades away to nothing?

  10. Tim
    Posted December 20, 2017 at 10:44 am | Permalink

    Here’s a funny headline.

    “The tax bill opens the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to drilling”
    https://buff.ly/2CMbS0v

    Can someone pease explain the connection?

  11. Meta
    Posted December 20, 2017 at 11:32 am | Permalink

    And so it begins.

    National Review: “It’s Time for Trump to Rein in Leftist Bias at NPR and PBS”

    Read more:
    http://bit.ly/2BCzDJ2

  12. JM
    Posted December 20, 2017 at 1:22 pm | Permalink

    I would piss on it as he says, “I love pee pee parties. They are spectacular.”

  13. Elviscostello
    Posted December 20, 2017 at 2:37 pm | Permalink

    He looks more like Laker great Jerry West, than Drumpf.

  14. wobblie
    Posted December 22, 2017 at 1:09 pm | Permalink

    not on point but you have got to love the Democrats. Easily bamboozled by Republicans, instead of voting NO on the supplemental bill to keep the Government running till January 19th (ie. 3 weeks) . 19 Democrat Senators including both Peters and Stabenow voted yes, under cutting the leverage they had on the Dream Act. Let the deportations begin

    http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/senate-passes-short-term-spending-bill-with-help-from-democrats-to-avoid-shutdown/article/2644210

    Democrat play wiffle ball, while Republicans play hard ball. So much for the Resistance

  15. Iron Lung
    Posted December 22, 2017 at 2:59 pm | Permalink

    I keep thinking the dude in the background is the tall man from Phantasm.

  16. stupid hick
    Posted December 22, 2017 at 6:28 pm | Permalink

    They should make him recite the deplorable lies that earned him the most retweets and ‘likes’ from his base, while animatronic Abe Lincoln takes a turn fact-checking him.

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