Linette and I have been cooking all day. Were making Indian food. Weve been at it for the past six hours or so. Its good stuff… Were having some friends over tonight. Id tell you who they are, but then you could rob their houses.
My aunt, after my grandfather died, hired a woman to watch his house while we were all at the funeral. He lived in a small town in rural Kentucky and, as far as I could tell, he didnt have much worth stealing. She thought that someone, knowing that everyone in the family was at the funeral, would take the opportunity to rob the estate of old lawnmower parts, tobacco-stained long-johns, empty whiskey bottles and stacks of old Life magazines, I guess.
Freeda is outside, standing on top of my car. Id get the camera, but I know by the time I got there shed be down. I had to drive the Indian grocery a few hours ago and, halfway there, I noticed her paw prints on the windshield.
Last night, we had dinner with some other friends. The food was great and the conversation was interesting. One of the guys, well call him Jim, is a professor of Religion. We talked at some length about the Bible Code and the Left Behind series of Christian books. Apparently, and I didnt know this, quite a few people who are devoutly Christian, when theyre alone, often worry that the Rapture has happened and that the rest of their family has all been taken up to heaven, leaving them behind. This apparently happens quite often. Jim also mentioned that some families purposefully hide on their bad kids, making them think that theyd been left behind.
“Jesus came when you were out and took the rest of us to heaven with him. Enjoy your eternity in hell. -Mom
Dave Miller somehow stumbled on a article entitled Clergymen ‘Come Heavy’ On Condoms.
And all this time, Ive been coming heavy in them.
Todays post is not going to be coherent. Im sorry about that, but there isnt much time… To minimize these problems in the future, Im considering the possibility of having a reporter embedded, but that might take a few days.
Oh, we have some friends here in Ypsilanti who are thinking about getting a float together for Ypsilantis annual Heritage Festival parade. The float, if it comes into being, will represent The Elbow Room Bar, our friend Jennifers store, Henrietta Farenheit, the local record store, and Crimewave USA.
Linette and I have talked about about entering a “Crimewave USA” float in the past, but we never had the follow through to do it. We were also chicken… I think that it would be cool to have a big group do it. If I were the King of Ypsilanti, I’d play up the “home of Iggy Pop” angle. (Iggy was born and raised in Ypsi.) I always thought that it would be cool to bring him back and give him the key to the city. Maybe that’s too ambitious, but it would definitely get press. Our float would be great if we had a throne on a flatbed truck with Iggy in it. Now that Ive got the idea in my head, I know that Im not going to shake it… Does anyone out there know how Id go about getting in touch with Iggy? I know the Mayor and I think that I could swing a key to the city if hed be into it. I might even be able to get the money together to fly him out.
Oh, and heres a letter I just got from Shannon. I love having brilliant people out there looking for great things to share on this site.
Mark-
Here’s a delicious little link for you. It’s a website where people write in with A-Team porn. I love the idea of taking a pop iconic television show and defiling the beloved characters. I pitty the fool who don’t suck my cock!
How do you like this slogan for the site, MarkMaynard.com, for that little piece of Mark Maynard in everyone? Im getting tired of MarkMaynard.com, for all your Mark Maynard needs.
And I just found out that our good friend, Mr. Douglas Skinner, would be speaking at the International Fortean Organizations 33rd Annual Conference on Anomalous Phenomena. When asked, Doug described this as a sinister gathering. Heres the little blurb from the program about his lecture. You be the judge.
Doug Skinner, Fortean writer/artist/performer extraordinaire on “The Book of Fortunatus: A Sampling of Strange Lit Crit. Shakespearean cryptographers, Bible codes, hidden messages in Sherlock Holmes and Lewis Carroll; some of the hidden messages and history of reading more into a text than the author intended.
Sounds cool. Id love to hear what Doug has to say about hidden code in the Bible. If you want to go, its going to be May 10 & 11 at the Carlyle Quality Inn & Suites, Baltimore, MD.
OK, I have to go. I have company in the other room. I just ducked into the office for a minute to post this… Come back tomorrow. I hope to have pictures from todays cooking marathon.
