Which “Stranger Things” character are you?

Looking around the internet today, I noticed that some site had a “Which ‘Stranger Things’ character are you?” quiz. I didn’t take it, as it looked like it sucked, and since I don’t need anyone to tell me that I’d be Sheriff Hopper. But it got me thinking that, if I had even remotely good coding skills, I could probably come up with something a hell of a lot more accurate at predicting who you might be if you were thrust into the Stranger Things universe. Here are some of my initial thoughts. I’m sure I could do even better with time, but I thought I should hurry and post something now, while it’s fresh in my mind. Oh, and the following has some spoilers in it, so don’t go too deep if you haven’t seen the show yet.



















[If you liked this, check out I don’t give a fuck which Seinfeld character Buzzfeed says you are… You won’t believe my new super awesome meme…]

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  1. Rob
    Posted August 14, 2016 at 3:55 am | Permalink

    A well done homage or rip off of ET… I mean kids pedaling their bikes to and fro, hiding in this case a girl with super powers ( instead of an alien creature) also concealing her from clueless adults and evil government types … Yeah, I’ve seen this all before — But still binge – watched the shit out of it.

  2. Anonymous
    Posted August 14, 2016 at 6:42 am | Permalink

    I got “this one”.

  3. Eel
    Posted August 14, 2016 at 7:28 am | Permalink

    I think your algorithm is off. While I can kill people with my mind and sprout adult teeth, I’m absolutely certain that I’m more of a Dustin.

  4. MCTrashpedal
    Posted August 14, 2016 at 8:48 am | Permalink

    Stranger Things is alludes to many 80s movies, not just ET (sorry Rob). I think a quiz that pairs those references to the series might be cool too. But I dig that rich, multi-textual shit. Here’s a quick video sample of culture Stranger Things ripped off from the Reagan years (if incomplete: no mention of Akira, etc.)

  5. Eek
    Posted August 14, 2016 at 3:56 pm | Permalink

    Why is this not on the front page of Reddit?

  6. Tim
    Posted August 14, 2016 at 8:28 pm | Permalink

    Are you an aging actress who’s been given a second chance?

  7. LUMOS
    Posted August 14, 2016 at 9:58 pm | Permalink

    Do you keep underage, Eggo-loving girls hidden in your basement?

  8. Posted August 15, 2016 at 5:39 am | Permalink

    What is “Stranger Things?”

    I’ve never heard of it.

  9. Anonymous
    Posted August 15, 2016 at 8:04 am | Permalink

    Peter Larson as Barb.

  10. Mr. X
    Posted August 15, 2016 at 8:13 am | Permalink

    Are you Asian? If so, you’re the woman dating the middle school science teacher.

    [If I’m not mistaken, she was the only Asian character on the show.]

  11. Stephen
    Posted August 15, 2016 at 3:53 pm | Permalink

    Are you a deadbeat dad? If so, you are Lonnie Byers.

  12. Amzon
    Posted December 29, 2017 at 12:47 am | Permalink

    I am Barb’s locker.

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