You only have until midnight to influence the course of global sausage eating history

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Two adorable little boys in jumpsuits were seen parading a giant stuffed sausage through the streets of Ypsilanti yesterday in anticipation of Sunday’s third annual Wurst Challenge benefiting the work of FLY Children’s Art Center.

As of right now, eleven individuals have entered this year’s Wurst Challenge. We won’t, however, know which ten will be facing off against our ten 20-foot-long sausages until the end of the day. It all depends on who raises the most money for FLY Children’s Art Center, and we’re going to keep collecting contributions right up until midnight. So, if you’d like to influence the course of history and either keep someone from the competition, or propel someone into first place, now’s your chance to do it. Just make a tax-deductible contribution to FLY in the name of one or more of our our competitors today.

Here are the standings as of 3:30 PM on Saturday:

The Big Gulp representing Team Smoot: $1,355.39
Buck Von Thundergut representing Duo Security: $686
Yacob representing HookLogic: $670
Knifebeard Sausage Hawk: $460
The EMU Fearless Flightless Birds: $300
Jim “Colonel Mustard” Cherewick: $240
Caleb “The Schnozz” Zweifler: $220
007: Quann’tum of Sausage representing Ypsi Schools: $205
Cre “The Bun Smuggler” Fuller: $205
Quinn “Fill ‘Er Up” Phillips: $184
Wurst Erobert Die Welt: [just entered]

I know it’s unlikely, but, if this were a movie plot, someone would coordinate a last minute “money bomb” to push everyone’s totals above those of returning champions Team Smoot, forcing The Big Gulp from the competition altogether, and completely changing the dynamics of the event completely. Or, conversely, maybe Team Smoot, which presently has a comfortable lead, could begin moving their money around in such a way as to drive someone they hate (or fear) from the competition. Or, what if an unknown masked candidate entered just under the wire, got herself into the tenth spot with a self-funded donation, and then showed up tomorrow in a cloud of smoke to eat the entire 20 feet of meet put down before her in a matter of minutes, and then just disappeared, never to be seen again?

Whatever your idea, if you’d like to change the course of history, you can make a tax-deductible contribution in the name of one of these heroic individuals right now, and help a terrific local non-profit in the process.

And do come out tomorrow and join us at the Wurst Bar. It should be fun.

[The third annual Wurst Challenge, a fundraiser for FLY Children’s Art Center, will be held Sunday, May 22nd at Ypsilanti’s Wurst Bar. Doors open at 5:00. Frantic sausage eating commences at 6:00. For details, click here.]

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8 Comments

  1. Kurt Anschuetz
    Posted May 21, 2016 at 3:47 pm | Permalink

    Even though donations determining the entrants ends at midnight. Team Smoot will be collecting donations until the sausage gavel drops tomorrow.

  2. Posted May 21, 2016 at 4:08 pm | Permalink

    It’s cute to see those youngsters showing support to Team Smoot by wearing little “THE BIG GULP” jumpsuits.

  3. Janice Anschuetz
    Posted May 21, 2016 at 4:15 pm | Permalink

    Team SMOOT has really worked hard with BIG GULP as their entrant to raise money and win this competition. Please don’t even suggest that someone do anything to change this! BIG GULP has been trying to keep in training to bring another victory. GO TEAM SMOOT!

  4. Posted May 21, 2016 at 9:43 pm | Permalink

    Team Smoot has been incredible. There’s no doubt about it. And I doubt we’ll see a coordinated move to unseat them, Janice. I like drama, though, and it did cross my mind that it would be interesting if someone launched a last minute push against them, if only to set the stage for next year.

  5. Peter Larson
    Posted May 21, 2016 at 10:54 pm | Permalink

    Several people donated sufficient sums of money to support a noble and impactful initiative for children.

  6. Posted May 22, 2016 at 11:14 am | Permalink

    As in year’s past, only ten competitors will be facing off in the final “20 Feet of Meat” stage of this year’s Wurst Challenge, which begins at 5:00 PM this afternoon at Ypsilanti’s Wurst Bar. The ten who made the cut were informed last night at midnight, so that the could begin final preparations. They are; The Big Gulp, Buck Von Thundergut, Yacob, Knifebeard Sausagehawk, The EMU Fearless Flightless Birds, Jim “Colonel Mustard” Cherewick, 007: Quann’tum of Sausage, Caleb “The Schnozz” Zweifler, Cre “The Bun Smuggler” Fuller, and Quinn “Fill ‘Er Up” Phillips… who collectively raised almost $5,000 for FLY Children’s Art Center!

    If you haven’t contributed yet, it’s not too late. While we’ve already chosen the top ten fundraisers to move on to the meat eating round this afternoon, online donations are still being accepted. And, what’s more, we’ll be accepting donations live at the event… The person or team who raises the most (both online and live) by the end of the event, will win our coveted “Most Funds Raised” award. (Awards will also be given for Most Sausage Consumed and for Style, which will be voted on by those present.)

    Make a donation now!

    And see you at 5:00. (Eating begins at 6:00.)

  7. Peter Larson
    Posted May 23, 2016 at 3:20 am | Permalink

    It is right that people were not compelled to donate by threat of reprisal, but rather chose to contribute money of their own free will. Clearly, this is the beauty of the free market.

  8. Peter Larson
    Posted May 23, 2016 at 3:40 am | Permalink

    Similarly, people might freely choose to buy my new record, “Six Pack Songs Vol. 2.” One dollar of each sale will be donated to the FLY art center.

    https://petelarson.bandcamp.com/album/six-pack-songs-vol-2

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