Super Bowl food ideas


About a year ago, a friend gave me a homemade antenna he’d made for his television out of a piece of scrap lumber and a few feet of wire. Well, a few days ago, on a whim, I plugged it into the TV we have hooked up to our DVD player, and, much to my surprise, it actually worked. So, after having gone the last 15 or so years without a fully functioning television, we now have the ability, should we choose to do so, to watch real, live, broadcast television. And, while I don’t expect we’ll watch live, commercial television too often, we decided tonight over dinner that we’d fire it up on Super Bowl Sunday and have a little, four-person party. And that’s what I need your help with. It was decided that all four of us, on our own, would make a different dish to share, and I’m not sure what I should make. I could make nachos, or twice-baked potatoes, or chili, but I’m thinking that maybe something even richer and more decadent is called for. So, how about it? What’s the ideal Super Bowl food?

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  1. Linda
    Posted February 3, 2016 at 1:20 am | Permalink

    Not to burst your bubble, but…

    you have Netflix. That means you have TV. If you have Netflix, you can watch TV anywhere — even on the toilet.

    If I wanted to take a shit and watch TV at the same time, I’d have to drag a garbage can into my living room.

    You have Netflix therefore you have a functioning television.

    If you don’t think that, you can go fuck yourself.

  2. Peter Larson
    Posted February 3, 2016 at 2:14 am | Permalink

    Every time I have watched the Super Bowl as a family, it turns into some kind of huge family mess.

    Family time is often just another opportunity to fight and develop resentments. Family is pointless.

    Best to take that antenna and throw it in the trash.

  3. Posted February 3, 2016 at 7:48 am | Permalink

    I never said we didn’t have a television. I said that our television, up until a few days ago, wasn’t able to pick up live, broadcast television, as we didn’t have either cable or an antenna. Now, however, we do have an antenna. I thought I was clear. I’m sorry that you were confused, Linda.

  4. Eel
    Posted February 3, 2016 at 7:53 am | Permalink

    Not to burst your bubble, Linda, but you can’t watch the Super Bowl live on Netflix. If you think that, you can go fuck yourself.

    As for food suggestions, have you considered a Shooter’s Sandwich (

  5. Peter Larson
    Posted February 3, 2016 at 8:32 am | Permalink

    I like Linda.

  6. Jean Henry
    Posted February 3, 2016 at 8:39 am | Permalink

    A 3 or 6 foot sub is the obvious choice. Kids can help. Finding the roll will be a challenge. Maybe meijers or GFS. Or you could drive to a bakery down river and pick one up direct. All feasts are better if one has a small adventure sourcing ingredients. Mid western subs are awful. Grinders are good but you need a 6 foot toaster for that. I recommend a Philadelphia hoagie– mortadella, genoa, ham, capicola, tomatoes, provolone, shredded iceberg lettuce, banana pepper rings or hot red pepper flakes, and oil and vinegar. No mayo. Thats just WRONG. Don’t fancy it up. Just get the best ingredients you can find. There’s a good italian deli in Dearborn. Forget the name. Dearborn is great exactly the way hoagies are great. Kids may like making cocktail pigs in a blanket with vienna sausages and pillsbury croissant rolls– good with honey mustard. Bread & Butter refrigerator pickles are required. You can arrange all these things 50’s fashion if you want but that is sure to engender the family dysfunction that Pete warned of. Too much perfection. Highbrow football food is also wrong. If you go high brow, you can go f…. oh nevermind

  7. XXX
    Posted February 3, 2016 at 9:24 am | Permalink

    Sculpt Cam Newton’s bust from cheese.

  8. Bob
    Posted February 3, 2016 at 9:46 am | Permalink

    Peter Larson hates antenna

  9. Peter Larson
    Posted February 3, 2016 at 10:02 am | Permalink

    I do.

    And families.

  10. Jean Henry
    Posted February 3, 2016 at 10:12 am | Permalink

  11. Anonymous
    Posted February 3, 2016 at 10:15 am | Permalink

    Melt cheese over the antenna and feed it to your kids.

  12. Lynne
    Posted February 3, 2016 at 11:33 am | Permalink

    How geeky are you? My geeked out friends are getting all excited for these Settlers of Catan nachoes

  13. anonymous
    Posted February 3, 2016 at 11:45 am | Permalink

    If you wanted something fitting, maybe you could cook an animal that had been dispatched via blunt force trauma to the head.

    In all seriousness, though, I’d recommend samosas.

  14. Stupid Hick
    Posted February 3, 2016 at 7:48 pm | Permalink

    If you don’t normally celebrate Super Bowl, you hipster commie, I recommend a traditional menu so your children have a benchmark by which to judge future Super Bowls spent with their less culturally-deprived friends. Some combination of cheap pizza, potato chips with ranch style dip, chicken wings, nachos, chili, beer nuts. Maybe a sub. Beer and pop. Samosas are a great idea, but only after they have a few Super Bowls under their belt. Will your TV be able to get the Puppy Bowl too? Stop depriving your children and get cable already, man!

  15. stupid hick
    Posted February 7, 2016 at 1:07 pm | Permalink

    A public service announcement, for TV rejectionist sycophants, before I leave the house to pick up samosas and subs for this evening’s festivities. Both the Super Bowl and Puppy Bowl will be live streamed for free. Google it. Puppy Bowl kickoff is at 3pm.

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