I apparently molt several times a year

The management of AM 1700 just marked the one year anniversary of my radio program, The Saturday Six Pack, by posting the following graphic to Facebook, along with a comment about how, almost every week, I wear the same filthy, brown sweater. I know I should either thank them for having hosted the show for an entire year now, or lash out at them for having made fun of my “lucky radio outfit,” but I can’t seem to find the energy to do either. Every bit of my cognitive power this evening is dedicated to answering a single question…. “Based on these photos, how many times a year do I molt?”

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I’m thinking that I should go into this second season completely bald, with the intention of not shaving or cutting my hair for the entire year. That way, when looking back on images from individual shows, I wouldn’t have to wonder when they took place. I could just look at the length of my grizzled, knotted beard and know… Of course, now that I think about it, I could probably also just look at the date of the photo, but what’s the fun in that?

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3 Comments

  1. Kick
    Posted February 3, 2016 at 10:41 pm | Permalink

    You should broadcast the sound of your molting. I’m sure your ASMR listeners would get off on it.

  2. anonymous
    Posted February 4, 2016 at 7:40 am | Permalink

    On the last show of the year, you could have your listeners in to shave you, extract cultures from your beard, and brew beer from them.

    http://www.beeradvocate.com/community/threads/beard-beer-rogue-ales-to-culture-and-brew-with-yeast-from-brewmaster-john-maiers-beard-follicles.24877/

  3. Rat
    Posted February 4, 2016 at 3:18 pm | Permalink

    All I ask is that you please promise never to do this again.

    http://markmaynard.com/2015/01/creative-beard-design-episode-one/

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