A copy of the Prehensile Monkey-tailed Skink video has surfaced, ending any congressional aspirations I may have had

I’ve lived in fear of this moment for the past twenty years…

Today, by way of Facebook, I received a message from a man in Oregon who claims to have in his possession a copy of “Fears of Practice,” the 1993 performance video of my band, Prehensile Monkey-tailed Skink. While he hasn’t yet made his demands known, I suspect he’ll want more than I’m able to pay, which means that, within a very short period of time, any dreams I may have had concerning a run for Congress, will be dashed.

I’d thought, as only about four of these tapes had been made, I might avoid facing the consequences of my misspent youth in Ann Arbor, but it would appear as though that’s not to be… And, yes, I know there are still records of ours floating around out there, but it’s one thing to hear Skink, and another thing altogether to actually see us in front of people, on a stage, dropping our instruments, and drunkenly falling over one another in our band uniforms, which, for some reason, had been designed to expose our nipples. [I can’t recall, but maybe we had problems with chafing.]

I’m sure I’m remembering this incorrectly, as I remember everything incorrectly, but I have a vague recollection of making this videotape at Pete Larson’s apartment in early ’93, shortly after the band had broken up, and just before I left town for Atlanta. It was probably a year or two into the life of Bulb Records, and I think that Pete was desperate to add another product to the catalog, just in case some poor sap came along with an extra $20 to spend.

I haven’t seen the video since we made it, but, as I recall, it begins with Pete and me sitting on his couch, reminiscing about the old days. I’d like to think that there’s a certain naive beauty in it, but I suspect the thing most people will be struck by is just how terrible the production quality is, as we made the thing in about an hour, abruptly cutting from one song to the next using a jury-rigged bank of half-functional VCRs.

Here are Pete, Dan and me at 502 Catherine Street, where I think we wrote most of our songs. [Again, I may be remembering this incorrectly, but I think we actually only practiced about four times as a band.] I’m not sure where Matt was. Maybe he was at work.

update: Well, as I suspected, it looks as though my memory of events was a bit off. According to Linette, who was there at the time, and shot much of the footage that wound up being used in “Fears of Practice,” Pete and I did not, in fact, make the video with the intention of adding it to the Bulb catalog. No, apparently Pete advertised the video in the Bulb catalog prior to its existence, and we only made it once someone actually did the unthinkable and ordered a copy. As for how many copies were made, I’m still not sure. Linette seems to think we only made the one, just to fill the order. I can’t imagine that we would have been that stupid, but I suppose, given other business decisions Pete and I have made over the past 25 years, it’s possible. [“We’ll just get together and make another one if there’s another order,” one of us probably said.] If I had to bet, I’d say that Linette is probably right, and it’s very possible that this copy which recently surfaced in Oregon is the only copy ever made. As for who ordered it, Linette seems to think that it was purchased by a young man who would then go on to form the band Wolf Eyes. As for how it made its way to Oregon, I have no idea. I’d like to think that he was murdered for it, but I suspect it’s more likely that it was taken from a garbage can in front of his house.