Let everyone know that, like me, you’re a “Proud Clinger”

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After watching Sarah Palin’s righteous, homemade meth-fueled endorsement of Donald Trump for President yesterday in Iowa, I’ve come to accept that the end times are upon us. And, in hopes of surviving a little longer than I would have otherwise, I’ve decided to stop fighting, give in, and embrace the reality of what’s happening in America today. So, with that said, I’ve decided to take all of my family’s savings and have 10,000 shirts made with the phrase, “right winging, bitter clinging, proud clinger.” While I’ll be setting several hundred aside for my family, so that, for the rest of our lives, we’ll never have to leave the house without one, the rest, I’m thinking, will be used for currency. So, if you have anything of value, like a few extra Jim Baker end times food buckets, or some Glenn Beck silver coins, or perhaps a couple Doomsday Prepper approved guns, just hit me up and let me know.

And, here, if you didn’t see Palin’s endorsement, is the video… It changed my life. It can change yours too.

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  1. Posted January 20, 2016 at 11:19 pm | Permalink

    If you can design a better shirt, let me know. I put this one together pretty quickly… It doesn’t even have any red, white and blue.

  2. Posted January 20, 2016 at 11:21 pm | Permalink

    And I forgot to mention it, but I think it really speaks to Sarah Palin’s character that she could find the strength to stand by Trump’s side in Iowa while also dealing with her son’s domestic violence related arrest .

  3. Posted January 20, 2016 at 11:25 pm | Permalink

    Not to be confused with a Proud Klinger.


  4. Peter Larson
    Posted January 21, 2016 at 5:29 am | Permalink

    I can’t watch that video.

  5. Peter Larson
    Posted January 21, 2016 at 6:09 am | Permalink

    I watched part of it on France24. Her speech makes little sense at all.

  6. Demetrius
    Posted January 21, 2016 at 7:15 am | Permalink

    The best part of the video is watching Donald Trump try to pretend not to be embarrassed.

    I mean, how much of a dumbass do you have to be to embarrass Donald Trump?!

  7. TeacherPatti
    Posted January 21, 2016 at 8:08 am | Permalink

    I can’t make myself watch the video so please indulge–does she say we need to cling to our bitterness? Like, “my second grade teacher only made me the ass’t a/v person, not the lead a/v person even though the dick who got the job only got it cuz he was a kiss ass” level of clinging? (Can I let that one go?) Or cling to perceived slights from people we don’t like? Or just cling to the anger that “I’m a white man who hasn’t achieved much and it’s because of affirmative action and not cuz I’m a total piece of shit” bitterness?

    Also, I have now read the word “cling” so many times that it has lost all meaning and I’m beginning to doubt it is even a word.

  8. Maria Huffman
    Posted January 21, 2016 at 9:05 am | Permalink

    Mark Maynard…Trump is never going the election…it’ll be okay…
    Even in today’s world, people know he can not be the President. Stop watching his videos, TV clips, writing about him etc.
    Maria Huffman

  9. Dan from Austin
    Posted January 21, 2016 at 9:19 am | Permalink

    Way to make lemonade out of bitter clingin’ lemons!

  10. Peter Larson
    Posted January 21, 2016 at 9:21 am | Permalink

    Trump is not embarrassed. I don’t see that. He looks rather happy.

  11. Bob Krzewinski
    Posted January 21, 2016 at 9:36 am | Permalink

    Grandparents who are TrumpPalin supporters can give these to their absolute darling grandchildren as they drive them to the recruiters officers so they sign up to “kick ISIS ass” as Palin said Trump would do. And no behind the lines job. Have them sign up for infantry!

  12. Pocket Beaver
    Posted January 22, 2016 at 2:08 pm | Permalink

    It reminded me of the “Authentic Frontier Gibberish” scene from Blazing Saddles:


  13. wobblie
    Posted January 22, 2016 at 4:28 pm | Permalink

    I so much want to be a clinger, but I got no guns, ( their only good for killing people so why have one), and I stopped believing in god decades ago. WHAT CAN I CLING TOO…somebody help me so I can buy one of Mark’s shirts

  14. Peter Larson
    Posted January 25, 2016 at 4:05 am | Permalink

    I might vote for Trump. The Republican Party deserves him.

  15. Jim
    Posted January 25, 2016 at 12:49 pm | Permalink

    This is pretty good: http://boingboing.net/2016/01/25/vine-clip-compares-sarah-palin.html

  16. Stupid Hick
    Posted January 26, 2016 at 10:32 pm | Permalink

    The shirt might be more popular if it depicted an archetypal, true American patriot’s weapon, like an AR-15.

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  1. […] seen no evidence of this in my own life, but, then again, I probably don’t fit the “proud clinger” profile. Maybe doctors really are beginning to single people out, asking them to rate their […]

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