The Saturday Six Pack with Mark Maynard: episode one


Saturday was my first night hosting The Saturday Six Pack with Mark Maynard on Ypsilanti’s historic AM 1700, and I think it went pretty well. You’ll find my rough notes below. If you feel like actually listening for yourself, though, you can do so here.

We’re still working out a few bugs with regard to how calls are handled and such, but I think it went as well as could be expected our first time out. All six beers were distributed and consumed, and, judging from the photographic evidence, those in the room were having a good time. [images courtesy Kate de Fuccio]

About 20 people called in. There were no international calls, but we did talk with with people from as far away as Florida, which was nice. (Apparently the AM 1700 signal carries quite some distance.) For the most part, people were pretty awesome… even when they called in to accuse me of having delusions of grandeur.


[I’m not used to smiling. My face just doesn’t know how to handle it.]

I stared the evening off by talking with Bee Roll, the owner of Beezy’s Cafe. We talked about food safety, the false sincerity of banks that claim in their advertising materials to support local businesses, and the storefront next to hers, which was recently condemned. And then I surprised her with the Ypsilantian of the Year award, which made her cry… She would cry repeatedly over the course of the evening, giving me the idea for a regular segment called “Make Bee Cry,” in which people would call and say nice things about Bee until she started weeping. (The person to bring on tears the fastest, would win some kind of prize.)


Rob Hess, the man behind Ypsi’s Go Ice Cream, also dropped by. He’d come to say nice things about Bee, and to give her some congratulatory ice cream, but he stuck around to tell us about his recent experiences at Ice Cream Camp, where he learned, among other things, that lots of folks in the business are more interested in finding new ways to introduce air into their product, saving them money, than just making awesome food that people want to eat… Here’s Rob congratulating Bee on her hugely important, life-changing award.


And, about half way through the show, Brigid Mooney dropped by to make the case for a reoccurring “Shy Commedians” segment on the program. There are a lot of funny people with good material, she told us, who, although they’re too intimidated to take the stage at a comedy club, would love to have a local radio venue. So we put the idea to a vote, and a half dozen or so people called in to support her. So, from now on, there will be a comedian or two on The Saturday Six Pack. Almost all the people who called in, as far as I could tell, were either friends or relatives of hers that she’d instructed to voice support for the idea, but I think that’s alright. It shows resourcefulness, and I like that.


In addition to all of this, my mom called in twice. The first time, for some inexplicable reason, she asked Bee to shave off my beard and run across the street with it to Beezy’s. (I think she was afraid that, if Bee didn’t run away with it, I might try to reattach it.) The second time, she wanted to complain about the fact that I don’t call as often as I should. (I referred to our weekly calls as both satisfying and efficient. She disagreed.)

My mom wasn’t the only person to call with complaints. One of my bandmates called from Minneapolis to scold me for holding up our perpetually soon-to-be-released record, which is now a few years behind schedule. Another member of the Monkey Power Trio called to ask me to describe our show’s opening theme. (That’s right, instead of tuning in to listen to the opening theme, he called in from Portland and asked me to describe it to him while on the air.) After hearing my description, he said that he’d create a better opening theme for the show, one that better reflected my “megalomania” and “insecurity.” (If I had to pick just one, I’d say that this was my personal highlight of the evening. It was even better than making Bee cry. You can listen for yourself at the 36-minute mark, if you like.)

A woman called in from the big city of Ann Arbor, which I’m told is a lot like Manhattan, in hopes that we might sing her Happy Birthday. And, later, her ten year old son could called to say, “I have no regrets.” About what, it was wasn’t clear.

I repeatedly asked Linette to call in, but apparently she wasn’t listening at home, as she told me that she would be. At some point, after asking a few times, a mutual friend of ours in Chicago, Patty Stevenson, called in. She said that she loved me, which was nice. Apparently she’d felt sorry for me. My sense is that, as time goes on, there will be more calls like this… calls from people convinced that they must be the only people in the world listening, feeling bad for me as I endlessly repeat the station’s phone number to no avail.

While Linette didn’t call, her cousin Andy did. He was listening downriver. We talked a little about his new band. I think I made him sad. Every time he mentioned a new name that he was considering for the band, I had to tell him that it was already taken. After a few rounds of this, we said goodbye. (I made a note to myself that I’d like to help people come up with band names in the future. I think that would be good community service to offer.)

It got slow at some point. It kind of ebbed and flowed. There were a few minutes, toward the end, where I was just looking out the window, talking about the cars going by, and the police sirens I could hear in the distance. Otherwise, though, it was pretty action-packed.

Among other things, we talked about Health Department restaurant inspections, homelellness, and the death of children during war. In spite of that, though, I think that it was pretty upbeat and fun. But maybe we have the six pack to thank for that.

The show ended with me and Kate de Fuccio, the AM 1700 staff photographer, talking about the evacuation of children from London during World War II, which led to a discussion of other childhood evacuations. (I shared the fact that Arlo had pooped in such a way that there were two pieces, lying next to one another, in the bottom of his potty. One bigger. One smaller. Side by side. He said it looked like him and his mother snuggling.)

Sorry to everyone who was cut off, like Teacher Patti, or couldn’t get through, or couldn’t hear me once they did get through. It’ll take a little while for us to work out all of the bugs, but I’m sure it’ll happen.

Lastly, I’d like to thank AM 1700 owner Brian Robb for opening the station to me and allowing the weirdness to flow through it… If you get a chance, like AM 1700 on Facebook. I know that would make him happy.

This entry was posted in Local Business, Locally Owned Business, Mark's Life, Media, Monkey Power Trio, Special Projects, The Saturday Six Pack, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.


  1. Posted January 19, 2015 at 10:11 pm | Permalink

    Oh, I should have mentioned it, but week one was Miller High Life “artist” series. I’m currently taking recommendations for week two.

  2. Eel
    Posted January 20, 2015 at 6:41 am | Permalink

    If things get quiet again, you could always tune in the police scanner.

  3. Krik
    Posted January 20, 2015 at 9:00 am | Permalink

    On your next show, could you please start a campaign for a downtown Ypsi Ambassador program.

  4. Anonymous
    Posted January 20, 2015 at 11:27 am | Permalink

    Please tell me the station is powered by stripper pole rotation.

  5. Steve Swan
    Posted January 20, 2015 at 1:37 pm | Permalink

    Stripper pole rotation is what keeps the universe spinning.

  6. Posted January 20, 2015 at 5:58 pm | Permalink

    MONEY Power Trio is probably a better name.

  7. Posted January 20, 2015 at 8:57 pm | Permalink

    Dan, I found the stuff you wanted for me to send. It’ll go in the mail tomorrow. And I’m sorry I misspelled the name of our band. I would have though that, after 16 years, I’d know it.

  8. Posted January 20, 2015 at 8:58 pm | Permalink

    And I still don’t believe how damn happy we all are in this photos.

  9. Posted January 20, 2015 at 9:15 pm | Permalink

    Everybody has coats on. Was there any heat in there?

  10. Posted January 20, 2015 at 10:23 pm | Permalink

    I’m told that we can put a lump of coal in the furnace when we sign our first advertiser.

  11. blueeyedpupil
    Posted January 21, 2015 at 10:00 am | Permalink

    when we were sitting outside of the station waiting to make weird faces, i wondered why the broadcast cant be heard outside. it looks sort of like there are speakers for that. any chance of that.

  12. bee roll
    Posted January 21, 2015 at 11:21 am | Permalink

    Mark, I suspect, like me, you smile like a creepy creeper when you’re nervous.

    that’s why we look so happy.

    or else, Kate has a magic smile adapter to her camera.

4 Trackbacks

  1. […] before committing, you’d like to try out the Saturday Six Pack, episode one is now available online… […]

  2. By The Saturday Six Pack with Mark Maynard: episode two on January 25, 2015 at 10:44 pm

    […] [If you liked that, just click here to listen to episode one.] […]

  3. […] And I think that’s kind of beautiful. If you don’t believe me, just listen to the first and second shows. I think, if you do, you’ll get a sense of what I’m talking […]

  4. By The Six Pack Portrait Project on March 12, 2015 at 8:27 am

    […] [Hear the episode where Bee wins Ypsilantian of the Year.] […]

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