Talking erections at the doctor’s office

I went to the doctor a week or so ago for a long overdue physical. After exchanging a few pleasantries, the doctor, who was probably about ten years younger than me, laid me out on his table and poked around at me for a while, awkwardly asking the kinds of questions that you ask a man in his mid 40s to determine risk for things like prostate cancer. It was odd and uncomfortable, but not without its moments of interest. I particularly liked the exchange we had about my ability to achieve and maintain erections. I liked the exchange so much, in fact, I was thinking that it would make a nice little two-panel comic. But, as I sat down to draw it out, it occurred to me that, given the raw lines of dialogue, without context, other people might approach it in completely different, and perhaps more interesting, ways. So, I cast the lines out there by way of social media and waited to see what the universe returned to me… Here, before I share the comics, are the lines.

DOCTOR: Are you having any problem achieving an erection?

MARK: Now, or just in general?

And here are the first four response I’ve received.

Eddie Knight:

KnightErectionComic

Matt Posky:

PoskyErectionComic

Jim Cherewick:

CherewickErectionComic

Peter Sickman-Garner:

PeterSickmanBoner

Others, I assume, were too intimidated by the subject matter.

And, yes, this is what I chose to write about today instead of the Senate report on CIA torture. Sorry, but I just couldn’t think about it with jeopardizing my erection.

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16 Comments

  1. Posted December 9, 2014 at 10:51 pm | Permalink

    For those who are interested, I’ve interviewed Jim and Pete here before, as part of our Art, Food, Sex and Trauma series.

  2. Posted December 9, 2014 at 11:40 pm | Permalink

    Interesting.

  3. koosh
    Posted December 9, 2014 at 11:45 pm | Permalink

    The Mark Maynard I know would never have trouble getting an erection.

    I”d be devastated to learn otherwise.

  4. Posted December 10, 2014 at 12:01 am | Permalink

    I’ve never understood why it is so important.

    After one has reproduced in early adulthood, it shouldn’t matter anymore.

    There is no evolutionary benefit to being able to achieve an erection past the approximate age of 35.

  5. D'Real
    Posted December 10, 2014 at 12:31 am | Permalink

    Eastern Michigan Athletics (8-1) 45 vs. University of Michigan (6-3) 42. #BrickDick #EMU 12/09/2014 #NeverForget

  6. Eel
    Posted December 10, 2014 at 8:37 am | Permalink

    The Mark Maynard I know is always fully erect and ready for whatever comes his way.

  7. Eel
    Posted December 10, 2014 at 8:39 am | Permalink

    And, for what it’s worth, I was hoping this post would be about a “talking erection.”

  8. Eel
    Posted December 10, 2014 at 8:40 am | Permalink

    Like a male version of “Chatterbox.”

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075830/

  9. anonymous
    Posted December 10, 2014 at 9:27 am | Permalink

    Can someone call “Karen” and let her know about this? I’m sure she’d like to weigh in.

    http://markmaynard.com/2012/01/in-defense-of-my-majestic-penis/

  10. Hater Gonna Hate
    Posted December 10, 2014 at 10:39 am | Permalink

    You are so close to just asking your friends to draw your penis. I can feel it building.

  11. Grandma
    Posted December 10, 2014 at 11:27 am | Permalink

    Merry Christmas!!!

  12. Demetrius
    Posted December 10, 2014 at 12:57 pm | Permalink

    Perhaps you and Linette need to spend more time soaking (together) in (separate) bathtubs.

    That seems to work for all those couples in the TV commercials.

  13. Anonymous
    Posted December 10, 2014 at 1:41 pm | Permalink

    So what you’re saying is that you fit the profile of a man with erectile disfunction.

  14. Posted December 10, 2014 at 8:53 pm | Permalink

    Interesting that multiple artists depict a doctor 10 years younger than you as elderly.

  15. Posted December 10, 2014 at 9:48 pm | Permalink

    I didn’t tell them, when giving them the lines, that he was younger.

    Also, I think the doctor duck is younger than me.

  16. Allie
    Posted December 11, 2014 at 9:30 pm | Permalink

    Doctor: Mark, I’ve got bad news for you. You’re going to have to stop masturbating.

    Mark: But why?

    Doctor: So I can finish this examination!

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