According to what I’m reading on the internet, Mike Judge, the creator of the HBO series Silicon Valley, actually consulted with Stanford engineers when writing this scene which aired last night, in which the founders of the tech startup Pied Piper thoughtfully discuss whether or not it might be scientifically possible for a lone individuals to jerk off 800 men in ten minutes.
Sadly the scene comes to an end before they come to an agreement on just how many dicks might be satisfied in ten minutes time. If any of the engineers in the audience would like to weigh in, here’s a shot of their whiteboard, which I’m thinking might help guide your cockulations.
[This post is dedicated to the memory of the brilliant Christopher Evan Welch, who portrayed tech guru Peter Gregory in the first five episodes of the season, before succumbing to brain cancer.]
4 Comments
I don’t think Erlich could get me off in ten minutes.
They could easily spin this out into a feature film.
You have to take into account that these are nerds and their TNB (time to nut bust) would be quite low. Also, if you factor in the novelty of being “head to head” with a fellow programmer, I think you could get TNB even lower. Even at an average TNB of 1 minute, though, you’re only going to service 40 in 10 minutes, unless you utilize fluffers or some other form of technology to prep them for ejaculation. All it would take is for one asexual coder to ruin the whole thing, though.
There are a number of places on the human body that can accommodate dicks. Behind the knee of a folded leg. Behind the elbow of a folded arm. In the armpit. Between the feet. Beneath the chin. Into a roll of fat. In none of those cases, would it likely qualify as “jerking off” as the dick would have to do most of the work. If you were to count such encounters, though, you’re number of dicks to be serviced in a ten minute period would grow exponentially.