Kurt Vonnegut is one of my favorite people, and I’m happy for him that he got to experience the feeling of immense relief that comes with fulfilling one’s perceived destiny on this round, wet and crowed planet that we’re all, sooner or later, going to die on. It would be nice if everyone could experience that feeling of bursting up through the dirt like a flower in early spring, unfolding toward the sun. I suspect, however, that most people will never know what that feels like. And, sadder still, I suspect that I’m one of those people. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had this nagging feeling that I’m supposed to be doing something, a vague notion that, like a salmon swimming upstream to spawn, I’ve got some kind of job that I’m meant to fulfill on earth. Unlike Vonnegut, though, I don’t have the slightest clue as to what that might be. I occasionally get a feeling that I might be on the right track, but, invariably, the trail grows cold, and I’m back to just stumbling blindly through life, trying desperately not to die in some stupid way before I figure out what I’m supposed to be doing during my short time here.
I could go on an on about this, but, instead, I’m going to just lay here and listen to Kurt Vonnegut read Slaughterhouse Five… Maybe something will come to me.
8 Comments
It takes a lot of us being dirt to support those few who are flowers . We all play a part, though.
Probably fewer than one in a million of us have any sense as to what we’re supposed to accomplish here. And, of those that have a sense as to what they’re supposed to accomplish here, fewer than one in a billion probably do it. It’s like winning a lottery between lottery winners.
I am envious of those who say they instinctively know what they were put here to do, whether it be to make art, or start companies, or whatever. I take some comfort, however, in the belief that they’re nuts, like people who claim to speak with God.
Keep on blogging, good sir. I come to this website because it has transformed my understanding of my hometown. I feel like I’ve got more pride and sense of community in Ypsilanti. Featuring a public blog is probably something I’d never have the courage to do, so I enjoy seeing others take those steps.
You’ll get a variation of that feeling each time your kids become significantly more independent until finally, they can fend for themselves.
You were here to have those two kids. Your job is done. You can die now.
“trying desperately not to die in some stupid way before I figure out what I’m supposed to be doing during my short time here.”
Keeping making observations like that and you’ll definitely be fulfilling a purpose (for me at least :)
Glad I could help, Pete.