Tired of my Facebook “friends” sharing the results of their bullshit Buzzfeed quizes, I decided to channel a little of my passive aggressive super power in their direction this evening. Enjoy.
And, here, if you aren’t aware of the meme I’m rebelling against, are a few examples from the most awful place on the internet – the point where Buzzfeed and Facebook intersect.
And, for what it’s worth, I don’t hate you if you take these quizzes. I understand the appeal. Who wouldn’t want to know which character on Three’s Company they’d be, if all of humanity were sorted into Jacks, Chrissys and Janets? (That, by the way, is what I think will happen when Jesus comes back.) I totally get it. It’s useful information to have. I just think that maybe there are better ways to spend one’s time. And, with that in mind, I intend to continue building on this meme until Buzzfeed is dead, and all the problems of the world have been resolved… So, if you have ideas for similar quizzes, send them my way.
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http://i.imgur.com/4m2nome.jpg
I think of myself as Lincoln’s mole, but apparently I’m Zachary Taylor’s taint.
http://imgur.com/suPnxU2
Public service announcement: most of the time when people use the term “passive aggressive”, they are using it incorrectly. What they mean is “covert aggression”. If there is an action, it is not passive. Sarcasm, for example, is not passive aggression because it is active. Same for back-handed compliments.
Passive aggression is more like being stubborn, refusing to do something, being consistently late or forgetting things as a way to exert control, obstructionism, etc. That passivity, or non-action, is the aggression because it frustrates the other person.
Which MarkMaynard.com meme are you?
http://imgur.com/awGkdqR
1. Bellybutton lint
2. Squirrel with ski mask
3. Jefferson’s great toe (right foot)
4. Kroger peaches
5. Tube sock (three blue stripes)
6. Beet seeds.
I’m told that I’m Carter’s glabella. I don’t even know what that is.
Do I sense covert aggression in your tone, Erika?
I’m glad the Christians have finally won the Creationism debate.
I’m A4! What size of paper describes you best?
I’m a broken hip! What common elderly ailment are you?
I’m a Type 3! What form of stool from the Bristol Stool Chart are you most like?
I’m 14 point Ariel Bold. What font are you?
Which Mark Maynard Commenter Are You?
It’s not just Buzzfeed anymore.
http://imgur.com/RLy8w5p
Which kind of aggressive are you?
I can’t believe you got a whole foot if colon. Just got three inches, a little ways down from the anus.
Slow news day
There are only two types of people in this world, Pink Ladies and Jeffs.
Interestingly, there’s a new film built around the idea that all of humanity is divided into just five types. It’s called Divergent. I suppose it’s possible that the five types are Jerry, George, Elaine, Kramer and Newman.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sutgWjz10sM
http://imgur.com/2CcHt41
http://imgur.com/nSwwbq5
Buzzfeed is upping their game in a big way.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/shocking-pictures-that-prove-the-illuminati-is-all-around
It took them a while, but the Onion has jumped into the Buzzfeed mockery market as well with the launch of ClickHole.
http://www.clickhole.com/
I saw this and was reminded of your post.
http://i.imgur.com/a0ZYz8y.gif
I like Pink Lady.
But not Jeff?
I’m sad. Like always. Oh yeah, and scared. I’m scared and sad.
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