Cleaning house… and finding interesting artifacts

I spent much of this past weekend cleaning house. In the process, I found the following:

An old drawing that I did of Linette, which I think is really beautiful, and surprisingly accurate.


My old favorite photo of myself, which I thought that I’d lost forever. (I don’t believe they still make the synthetic silk material that the shirt was made of as it was found to be both highly flammable and dangerously sexy.) If anyone out there wants to have it tattooed on their back, let me know and I’ll send over the high-res files.


An idea that I had for a children’s book involving the fact that unicorns are formed when you simultaneously squeeze both sides of a horse’s head. In my story, giants carried horses in their pockets and used them like switchblades.


A drawing that I’d done of right wing pundit Robert Novak.


An idea I had to have a big booth selling poorly done fake IDs outside theCorner Brewery during a past Shadow Art Fair. My idea to offer while-you-wait, no-questions-asked pet euthanasia was better, but I think this one had potential.


One of our old Christmas cards from back with Clementine was a baby. It’s a simple, little idea, but I love identifying Santa as “stranger” in photos.


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  1. Frog
    Posted January 23, 2014 at 7:56 am | Permalink

    I want to get your face tattooed over my face.

  2. snitch
    Posted January 23, 2014 at 9:00 am | Permalink

    People must really love you not to mention the teeth.

    Also, Novak reminds me of the dramatic gopher.

  3. sev
    Posted January 23, 2014 at 10:08 am | Permalink

    You never know what you’re going to find when cleaning out your house, closets, attic or basement. How many people have asked for the high res files for the back tat?

  4. Thomas Kincaid
    Posted January 23, 2014 at 10:44 am | Permalink

    Can someone with photoshop skills please show me what a young Mark Maynard tramp stamp would look like? I want to have a sense of it before suggesting to my teenage daughter that she have it put on her lower back.

  5. Robert
    Posted January 23, 2014 at 11:38 am | Permalink

    The Novak portrait is really good in a spooky way. And it’s very flattering. It sort of gives him a look of nobility he’s never had at all in real life.

  6. idea man
    Posted January 23, 2014 at 2:06 pm | Permalink

    I just had an interesting thought. What if, in malls, there were places were Santa Clauses could line up and pay money to have their photos taken with a typical family? The same family would sit there, for hours on end, and the Santas would cycle through.

  7. steve pickard
    Posted January 23, 2014 at 11:01 pm | Permalink

    The lighting and the upward gaze. great pic.

  8. Mike G!
    Posted January 24, 2014 at 12:43 pm | Permalink

    The governor sucks!

    …oh, wait. Guess I’m used to being pissed off when I read your posts.

  9. Knox
    Posted January 25, 2014 at 4:19 pm | Permalink

    When you squeeze the heads of goats, clouds of spores shoot into your face. If you inhale them, you grow by one inch. You also lose the ability to count.

  10. Posted April 15, 2015 at 6:51 am | Permalink

    Very interesting artifacts.

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