MarkMaynard.com’s first annual Simsgiving

    For the past few years, I’ve marked Thanksgiving by posting the same damn thing on my site – a long, somewhat obscure, list of things that I’m thankful for, culminating in a scene from one of the Addams Family movies in which Wednesday Addams, portraying Pocahontas in a youth production of the first Thanksgiving, turns the tables on the Puritans, killing them all gruesome fashion. I took some comfort in knowing that, every year, at the beginning of the holiday season, this old post of mine would come back around like the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special. And I thought that perhaps others may, over time, come to appreciate it in the same way. But, as I’m looking at it now, I’m just not feeling it, and I’m thinking that perhaps it’s time to try something new. (My apologies to any families who had plans to gather around the laptop on Thanksgiving Eve, waiting for that old post to pop up on my site, so that they could read it aloud together.) No, this year, I’m thinking that perhaps a virtual dinner is in order, a kind of online Thanksgiving meal for those of you who read this site, who either don’t have anyone to spend the holiday with, or, worse yet, are being forced to spend it with people that you might not really care for. Consider this post a little Thanksgiving oasis – a place you can escape to and just chat with other who, like you, read this site on a regular basis… So, pour yourself a pint of wine, put a TV dinner into the toaster oven, and let’s talk… Feel free to share recipes, gossip about relatives, or, in the spirit of the holiday, talk about what you’re thankful for. I promise to drop by often and keep you company.

    Here, to set the mood, are a few images that I was able to find hidden deep in the recesses of the web.

    simsgiving3

    simsgiving4

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      24 Comments

      1. Posted November 26, 2013 at 9:23 pm | Permalink

        I should add that you don’t have to be sad an lonely to join us at this virtual Thanksgiving party. No one will be turned away. Not even the happy and well-adjusted. And you don’t have to wait until Thanksgiving day either. You can start chatting now, if you like. I won’t stop you.

      2. Posted November 26, 2013 at 9:25 pm | Permalink

        Oh, and bring a dish to pass. I’ll carve the turkey at about 2:00 EST on Thursday, but, I’ve got plenty of snacks in the meantime, and I’m about to start handing out the eggnog. You all drink rum, right?

      3. Posted November 26, 2013 at 10:40 pm | Permalink

        What, no takers for eggnog? No virtual hugs for Mark?

      4. Posted November 26, 2013 at 11:15 pm | Permalink

        OK, it looks like I need to find a “drinking alone” avatar.

      5. Posted November 26, 2013 at 11:25 pm | Permalink

        This is the first thing to come up when you do a Google image search for “avatar drinking alone.”

        drinkingalone

        I was expecting something considerably more pathetic.

      6. Posted November 26, 2013 at 11:33 pm | Permalink

        turkeybrine

      7. Eel
        Posted November 27, 2013 at 9:26 am | Permalink

        If you expect me to come to your party, you need sexier avatars.

      8. anonymous
        Posted November 27, 2013 at 9:42 am | Permalink

        Agreed. Why does she need to be stuffing that turkey in that big sweater? It’s got to be as hot as hell in that kitchen. Wouldn’t she be more comfortable in something a little less bulky?

      9. Darcy
        Posted November 27, 2013 at 10:39 am | Permalink

        I’ll be eating my pumpkin soup in Mark’s bathroom if anyone would like to talk.

        http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lptjojoEQP1qju6n5o1_1280.jpg

      10. SK
        Posted November 27, 2013 at 11:30 am | Permalink

        Anonymous, I think you’ll find my cooking outfit more to your liking. I’m the one on the right, and I love free virtual wine.

        http://www.davidchess.com/pictures/sims2_a/Sandy_maxes_cooking.jpg

      11. Cat
        Posted November 27, 2013 at 12:18 pm | Permalink

        Is “brining the turkey” a euphemism?

        As for Thanksgiving, I’ll be at my parents’ house, which for me isn’t that traumatic. There will be tedious conversations about Obamacare and Benghazi but they’ll eventually give way to football and food. I can’t complain. I have friends that have it worse.

      12. Vincent
        Posted November 27, 2013 at 12:56 pm | Permalink

        I wish you hadn’t told me about this event of yours, as I’m a Sims serial killer, and I like you. I don’t want to ruin your party, but I’m totally murdering clowns and bitches all tha time. Digitally. While listening to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8eX5QM_cBds

      13. A. Aarmstrong
        Posted November 27, 2013 at 1:15 pm | Permalink

        But what if we want to come to your actual house virtually using one of these?

        http://vimeo.com/47000322

      14. double anonymous
        Posted November 27, 2013 at 6:22 pm | Permalink

        A.A. that’s incredible! I’d love it if I could attend family functions as an iPad hot glued to a broom handle on a robot skateboard.

      15. Bob Krzewinski
        Posted November 27, 2013 at 10:16 pm | Permalink

        None of the depictions are realistic. Everyone should be at the table looking at their phones and texting each other.

      16. Posted November 27, 2013 at 11:55 pm | Permalink

        This is shaping up to be a much sexier, deadlier gathering than I’d intended.

      17. Oates
        Posted November 28, 2013 at 8:33 am | Permalink

        I’ll be in the living room watching the virtual Packers wipe the floor with the virtual Lions.

        http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2012/1205/play_e_madden-sims07jr_576.jpg

      18. Elf
        Posted November 28, 2013 at 10:38 am | Permalink

        Can we start by having William S. Burroughs deliver a Thanksgiving prayer?

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLSveRGmpIE

      19. Posted November 28, 2013 at 5:14 pm | Permalink

        Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I hope you’re all well and happy, and with your loved ones, if you have them.

      20. Posted November 28, 2013 at 8:46 pm | Permalink

        I guess it doesn’t work so well, but I keep thinking that it would be cool to get a live conversation going on the site. I remember, a few years ago, I suggested that we all start watching an old episode of the Love Boat at the same time and write about it with one another. Like, “I can’t believe what Tattoo just said to Mr. Rourke.” As I recall, it didn’t go as I’d planned. I guess other folks have lives, which is good. At any rate, I’ll keep trying… I’m not going to give up.

      21. Posted November 29, 2013 at 2:14 pm | Permalink

        Did some people get drunk and start fist fighting? Did anyone get a DUI?

      22. Posted November 29, 2013 at 7:29 pm | Permalink

        No, but I either had food poisoning or the flu. The last 24 hours has not been pleasant. I’m just now coming out of it.

      23. Posted November 30, 2013 at 10:12 am | Permalink

        Not to be too graphic, but I was violently vomiting all Thanksgiving night to the point where I threw my back out.

      24. Posted November 30, 2013 at 1:01 pm | Permalink

        If there was no drunken fist fighting or a DUI, then it would be nothing like a Thanksgiving that I experienced growing up.

        However, vomit launching does feel familiar.

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