It’s getting hard to read the tiny print


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  1. koosh
    Posted October 29, 2013 at 7:33 am | Permalink

    Is this finally an admission that you are not the father of ‘your’ children due to your lack volume?

  2. anonymous
    Posted October 29, 2013 at 8:07 am | Permalink

    Not being able to muster 14 gallons during a single lunchtime isn’t exactly an admission of insufficient volume, is it?

  3. Rod Stewart
    Posted October 29, 2013 at 8:24 am | Permalink

    The thought of it gives me a stomach ache.

  4. scientist
    Posted October 29, 2013 at 9:15 am | Permalink

    Testing this hypothesis has been my life’s work. It’s proven difficult at times, but I’ve managed to put all of my biological material in a 14 gallon reservoir mounted in the floor of my childhood bedroom. I am now 40 years old, and it is approximately 9/16 full.

  5. eos
    Posted October 29, 2013 at 10:43 am | Permalink

    I store mine in 2 liter Mountain Dew bottles. Not sure how to convert to gallons.

  6. Eel
    Posted October 29, 2013 at 10:55 am | Permalink

    Have you tried a funnel, EOS?

  7. OMG!
    Posted October 29, 2013 at 12:35 pm | Permalink

    I thought my roommate just liked milk. What a fool I’ve been!

  8. EOS
    Posted October 29, 2013 at 1:51 pm | Permalink

    That wasn’t me.

  9. anonymous
    Posted October 29, 2013 at 2:45 pm | Permalink

    Don’t worry, EOS. We all know that you only ejaculate into items deemed ejaculateintoable by the bible.

  10. josh
    Posted October 29, 2013 at 3:59 pm | Permalink

    For a minute there, I thought EOS had found a sense of humor.

  11. Posted October 29, 2013 at 5:55 pm | Permalink

    Sex is evil and dirty.

  12. Elf
    Posted October 29, 2013 at 7:12 pm | Permalink

    They’ll convert liters of semen to gallons at the Canadian border, eos.

  13. Elviscostello
    Posted October 29, 2013 at 9:34 pm | Permalink

    Man, if one orgasm is all you get, that is one, long, awesome, cardiac arrest inducing ejaculation!

  14. alan2102
    Posted November 2, 2013 at 11:14 am | Permalink

    What’s with the obsession with MEN’S ejaculate volume? How about a figure for the average quantity, in milliliters, of women’s sexual secretions (including ejaculates) over, say, a 60-year sexually active life?

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