Open Thread… “look into my eyes and tell me that everything’s going to be alright” edition

Remember how, a few days ago, I told you that my high-school-bully-turned-bandmate, Mike, in an attempt to make me feel even worse about myself than I already do, had relentlessly fucked with a photo of me until I had inch-deep wrinkles and sunken black holes where my eyes should have been? Well, my friend Patty, I suppose because she felt sorry for me, took the day off from work today and painstakingly restored the photograph, and my self-esteem along with it… “Thanks, Patty!”

Here’s the result. Isn’t it beautiful?

OLDMarkTetons2013c

So, what would you like to talk about today? Seriously, the floor is yours… Whaddaya got?

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41 Comments

  1. Posted October 22, 2013 at 9:26 pm | Permalink

    It’s been almost ten seconds and there still aren’t comments…

  2. Posted October 22, 2013 at 9:27 pm | Permalink

    Is there really nothing at all that you’d like to talk about?

  3. Posted October 22, 2013 at 9:38 pm | Permalink

    I have a fairly large painting in the dining room of my house. Every time I sit down for dinner I feel like you and Linette are staring at me. I swear it is a portrait of the two of you. I will send you a picture of it.

  4. Posted October 22, 2013 at 9:48 pm | Permalink

    That’s us. We live in your walls. And watch you trough tiny, cut-out eye holes in your paintings.

  5. Posted October 22, 2013 at 9:52 pm | Permalink

    In fact, Val, I’m watching you right now.

    stock-footage-close-up-of-real-eyes-moving-behind-holes-in-painting

  6. Posted October 22, 2013 at 9:54 pm | Permalink

    Anyone else want to talk about scary paintings? How about church picnics? Or memories of playing whiffle ball? I’m up for anything. I’m burned out on politics and local crime. I need a distraction.

  7. Taco Farts
    Posted October 22, 2013 at 9:55 pm | Permalink

    I’m getting to the AA Al McWilliams debacle late. I know we don’t care too much about AA here, but I’m interested to know if people think a mildly-childish and/or egomaniacal twitter feed and blog is grounds for a ‘no’ vote when considering public appointment. On the one hand we have to come to terms that everyone who grew up with the internet is going to have a lot more honest picture of themselves available to the public (so soon that will be the entire pool of available candidates). On the other hand I think decorum does serve a purpose, and knowing its definition and its place might be important when serving a position intended to be accountable to the public (nevermind that the position in question is demonstrably not).

  8. Posted October 22, 2013 at 10:03 pm | Permalink

    I’ve been appointed to various committees, boards and such, and no one seems to care that I post questionable content. Maybe the bar is just lower in Ypsi, though. Regardless, I think I’ll send a note to Al and suggest that he reference “the Maynard precedent.”

    What was it that he wrote that has people thinking he’s unfit for office?

  9. Posted October 22, 2013 at 10:05 pm | Permalink

    Did he suggest building a moat around Quack Media?

  10. Posted October 22, 2013 at 10:09 pm | Permalink

    I just checked his Twitter feed and I’m not finding anything the least bit titillating.

    Was it this comment that bothered people? It’s the most provocative thing that I could find.

    What’s the minimum amount of Pumpkin Spice I have to consume to still be considered “festive.”

  11. Posted October 22, 2013 at 10:13 pm | Permalink

    Linette’s going to come up in a minute and make me watch an old episode of The Love Boat with her…. Isn’t there anything else you want to talk about?

  12. Taco Farts
    Posted October 22, 2013 at 10:14 pm | Permalink

    chronicle commenters are discussing a series of tweets during a council session that included the gem:

    Al McWilliams ‏@AlMcAlMcAl 18 Mar
    @ryanjstanton every time you “cough” the name “kuntslemen” we’ll all do shots. @damnarbor
    7:28 PM – 18 Mar 13

    if this weren’t AA I’d say I can’t imagine that’s all of it, but it is, so who knows.

  13. Posted October 22, 2013 at 10:15 pm | Permalink

    It’s not going to be alright. Sorry to tell you. I have tried about a dozen new things these past two weeks and have gotten rejected or failed at all of them. (This does not include my broken foot or dead dog, btw). A few months ago, I could have been reassuring but I can’t any more. It’s not going to be alright. You can’t make things happen even when you try really hard and do your best. Sorry my friend, I wish I had better news.

    OTOH, your picture was a huge hit with a kid today as I reported on Facebook.

  14. Taco Farts
    Posted October 22, 2013 at 10:16 pm | Permalink

    Mark have you ever felt it warranted to say “hey, do you want to check my blog before you confirm my appointment?”

  15. Posted October 22, 2013 at 10:17 pm | Permalink

    Did I ever show you this photo, taken at Tony Packo’s, of Morton Downey Jr’s signature on a fake hotdog bun?

    MortonDowneyJrBun

  16. Posted October 22, 2013 at 10:29 pm | Permalink

    The Mayor knows about my blog, as do members of the City Council. But they also know me, as a person, and they know that, just because I make the occasional off-color remark online, I’m not likely to blurt inappropriate stuff out at a meeting. At least that’s my sense… You’d have to ask them, but I think, over the years, I’ve proven to be pretty consistent… I occasionally have good ideas. I tend to keep my word. I’m pretty good at working with people. I don’t have a reputation for lying. And I know how to handle myself in a meeting. I also don’t write about things on my blog that I know I shouldn’t. When you add it all up, I think the good outweighs the occasional stupid post.

  17. Posted October 22, 2013 at 10:32 pm | Permalink

    Sorry to hear about the run of bad luck, and the broken foot, Patti. I hope things begin looking up soon… But, yeah, in the long term, the world is going to go to hell, and we’re all going to end up eating one another. Still, though, there should be some nice days between now and then.

  18. Posted October 22, 2013 at 10:33 pm | Permalink

    So, what else have you got? Anyone want to plug a garage sale?

  19. K2
    Posted October 23, 2013 at 6:12 am | Permalink

    You have a face made for the endtimes. At least you have that going for you.

  20. K2
    Posted October 23, 2013 at 6:26 am | Permalink

    “Mother, she’s just a stranger. She’s hungry, and it’s raining out!”

    http://drupal.cdm.dsub.net/sites/default/files/imagecache/full_movie_image/movie_image/Psycho-h-eyebanner_0.gif

  21. c.
    Posted October 23, 2013 at 6:51 am | Permalink

    Al McWilliams is no MM. Al’s a self admitted asshole in real life too…perfect politician.

  22. anonymous
    Posted October 23, 2013 at 7:15 am | Permalink

    Why is it that band-aids always smell like band-aids? I’ve been waiting over a year to ask you this question. Thank you for the opportunity.

  23. Elliott
    Posted October 23, 2013 at 7:24 am | Permalink

    What a fascinating question!! I believe they always smell like themselves because they are always smelling themselves.

  24. Mr. Y
    Posted October 23, 2013 at 8:02 am | Permalink

    They tried making them smell like gasoline, but they didn’t sell as well.

  25. Eric L.
    Posted October 23, 2013 at 8:49 am | Permalink

    Has anyone here ever eaten a fish out of the Huron.

  26. elviscostello
    Posted October 23, 2013 at 8:50 am | Permalink

    Look at the world, Mark, even I don’t believe everything’s gonna be alright. My Uncle, who I love and drive to appointments, as he is visually impaired, tried to convince me that Noah had dinosaurs on the Ark, and that all animals were vegetarian before the flood, and he votes…

  27. Ty
    Posted October 23, 2013 at 9:01 am | Permalink

    Serious question. Can we give the Leforge corridor to the Township? EOS, are you authorized to accept the transfer?

  28. Elf
    Posted October 23, 2013 at 10:16 am | Permalink

    Maybe not the most uplifting thought, but the sun is going to burn out anyway.

  29. double anonymous
    Posted October 23, 2013 at 11:13 am | Permalink

    The need to begin this post with “spoiler alert” for those who didn’t see the end of the movie where Darth Vader takes off his mask.

  30. John Galt
    Posted October 23, 2013 at 12:25 pm | Permalink

    Everything is going to be alright FOR YOU! In a few months, you’ll be living in a Stalinist utopia. Outside the Obama Death Camps, life will by grand FOR THE BORN! Just be sure to recycle, Oy they’ll take your hands! And they’ll force you to go to the Obamacare hospital to have them put back on EVEN IF YOU’D RATHER NOT!

  31. Study
    Posted October 23, 2013 at 12:57 pm | Permalink

    I thought they were vagina eyes.

  32. Ian Fulcher
    Posted October 23, 2013 at 1:56 pm | Permalink

    I hear J-STOR just unceremoniously jettisoned over 25 full-time employees and all of their part-timers. No notice. Kinda tired of living in a town (A2) that prides itself so hard for being “enlightened” when it still is common practice to fuck over people left and right. For fucking money.

    related: Patrick Elkins, fresh from being supported by several folks (and one festival) on this blog is among those who just got booted. First no insurance, now no income w/ NO WARNING.

    The president of J-Stor actually showed up in the A2 branch to shut it down. He had goon bodyguards. Not kidding.

    Ann Arbor is my adopted town, but I’ve watched it grow increasingly more soulless over the last decade. Not sure what I expected, but it wasn’t this. I get that it’s a business, but this was poor form. Poor fucking form.

  33. Robert
    Posted October 23, 2013 at 6:58 pm | Permalink

    Did you have some good meals out in Wyoming? There are a few good restaurants in the Jackson area. Did you check out any of those?

  34. Tube
    Posted October 24, 2013 at 9:50 am | Permalink

    The eyes are the windows to the soul.

  35. Robert
    Posted October 24, 2013 at 10:00 am | Permalink

    I am sorry I haven’t made any comments about the photo. I’m trying not to look at it.

    Anyway, you should stop being so secretive about where you ate while you were out in Wyoming. People need to know. They have a right to know.

  36. Eel
    Posted October 24, 2013 at 12:48 pm | Permalink

    Stare into his eyes, Robert, and feel your will for living melt away.

  37. Elviscostello
    Posted October 25, 2013 at 10:21 am | Permalink

    You know, looking at those eyes reminds me of looking at the sun, or possibly what my daughter calls her “Manson Globes”. Looking too long makes my eyes burn…

  38. Elf
    Posted October 25, 2013 at 12:13 pm | Permalink

    The burning sensation is your soul escaping.

  39. Posted October 26, 2013 at 3:50 pm | Permalink

    Yes, Robert, I had a few good meals. The night I got in, I bought a slice of pizza. It was good. I can’t remember the place where we stopped, but it was one of the few places that seemed open. (It’s out of season, so the place is pretty dead.) The next day, as we drove through Grand Teton, we stopped for lunch at a lodge kind of place. I think it was actually inside the park, if that’s possible. There was a wine shop next to it. It may have started with a “D.” I have the buffalo bolognese. (I felt like I should taste a buffalo.) It was good. The only other meal we ate out was the next day, when we went to Nora’s FIsh Creek Inn. I had a blackened red rainbow trout. I remember that I agreed to pay $6 more for a “grits upgrade”, which included a sauce of chorizo and shrimp. The rest of the time we bought groceries and cooked for ourselves.

  40. Posted October 26, 2013 at 4:22 pm | Permalink

    A “grits upgrade”? In Wyoming? The world is full of surprises.

    I’m reminded of a roadtrip a few years ago, in which I introduced an English friend to grits. He was baffled. His girlfriend was overjoyed to find a food he wouldn’t steal from her plate.

  41. Robert
    Posted October 27, 2013 at 10:25 am | Permalink

    That’s what I was pressing for…an admission that you tried the Bison meat, and liked it. I took you for one of those foodie-tourist types and I’m trying to drive a wedge between you and all your vegan friends. Hopefully, it at least causes a little tension.

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