Doling out loin cloths to protect the innocence of fragile Ypsilantians


I discovered, as I made my way out into the world this evening, putting up posters for Saturday’s last big Shadow Art Fair, that some store owners would rather not have their shops associated with drunken depictions of engorged genitalia. So, I found myself spending most of my evening trying to fashion crude loin cloths out of garbage found on the street and the wadded up paper towels I carry to soak up my tears. Anyway, I just thought I’d warn you, in case any of your friends or family members might have the urge to lift up one of these little DIY “purity shields”, and see what evil lurks beneath.

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  1. lorie thom
    Posted July 16, 2013 at 11:22 pm | Permalink

    Water Tower

  2. Edward
    Posted July 17, 2013 at 6:12 am | Permalink

    Are you suggesting that the water tower needs a loin cloth, Laurie? Or are you saying that, because of the water tower, there is no innocence in Ypsilanti?

  3. voyance par
    Posted July 17, 2013 at 6:21 am | Permalink

    A fascinating discussion on garbage-made loin cloths. Definitely worth comment. I think that you should write more about this subject matter, it might not be a taboo subject but usually folks don’t talk about such subjects. To the next! All the best!!

  4. Harley
    Posted July 17, 2013 at 6:32 am | Permalink

    I’ve only seen a handful of balls in my day, but I don’t remember any of them sticking out to the side like that. Is that something that really happens in nature? It’s like they’re magnetically opposed to one another.

  5. lorie thom
    Posted July 17, 2013 at 6:40 am | Permalink

    I am suggesting that if business owners don’t want to be associated with “depictions of engorged genitalia” that perhaps Ypsilanti’s most famous landmark makes that an unrealistic want. Either that OR Mark needs to make a really big purity shield to cover that too.

  6. deleuzean
    Posted July 17, 2013 at 7:26 am | Permalink

    But how will you be able to soak up your tears now?

  7. anonymous
    Posted July 17, 2013 at 9:07 am | Permalink

    I imagine he’ll be collecting his tears in tiny glass vials to sell at the Shadow Art Fair.

  8. Sarah
    Posted July 17, 2013 at 10:39 am | Permalink

    But I can’t get pregnant from tears.

  9. Eel
    Posted July 17, 2013 at 11:28 am | Permalink

    How do you know? Have people cried into your vajayjay?

  10. Dr. Karl
    Posted July 17, 2013 at 12:21 pm | Permalink

    I’d say this calls for a real scientific study, and a cohort of at least 20.

  11. Stupid Hick
    Posted July 17, 2013 at 3:04 pm | Permalink

    OMG! The Shadow Artfair bows to commercial pressure. Maybe it really is time to give up.

  12. Steve Swan
    Posted July 17, 2013 at 3:12 pm | Permalink

    Mark cries semen and ejaculates blood.

  13. Posted July 17, 2013 at 10:11 pm | Permalink

    And I cough up poop, and shit hairballs. Don’t forget that.

  14. XXX
    Posted July 18, 2013 at 7:27 am | Permalink

    I’ll buy a vile, but not for making babies.

  15. jaipur
    Posted July 20, 2013 at 6:48 am | Permalink

    Ypsi needs more cock in the face.

  16. Gg
    Posted July 25, 2013 at 8:34 am | Permalink

    The creature should have both male and female breasts. Other than that, I am fine with this depiction.

  17. Sunbeam
    Posted August 1, 2014 at 2:26 pm | Permalink

    My disappointment? Lifting the loincloth, I wanted to see them fully engorged.

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    […] brought to life, in stuffed form, the five-headed creature featured on the Shadow Art Fair’s controversial last […]

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