Last year, when Patrick Elkins, the densely-bearded, enigmatic recluse behind Ypsilanti’s Totally Awesome Fest, called a press conference to announce the line-up for the annual fertility ritual masquerading as a city-wide music festival, I was the only person to show up. And, as you might recall, it didn’t go well. This year, unsurprisingly, there was no press conference. In fact, aside from a scant mention at AnnArbor.com, there’s been almost no information available to those of us who aren’t in the hipster elite. Patrick, I was told by a mutual acquaintance, had “gone underground,” and was unwilling to speak to anyone, outside his cult-like band of wide-eyed followers, about the event. Well, I decided to hunt him down. And, thanks to a tip from a well-placed source, I was able to find him at the Tap Room last night. What follows is our impromptu interview.
And I know it doesn’t exactly make a lot of sense, given the story I shared above concerning how this interview came about, but here’s a link to a slightly different version of the above interview.
Oh, and I wanted to mention that I’d be bringing seed bomb making materials to the Totally Awesome Fest kickoff event behind VG Kids on Friday evening. So, if you’re one of the people who wrote to me, asking when you could help with the bomb making, there’s your answer. [More on the Ypsilanti seed bombing initiative can be found here, for those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about.]
A schedule of Totally Awesome Fest events can be found here.
22 Comments
Thanks to my tether, I only have an hour or so after I go out the window before my parents have me brought back home. So, if you only had an hour at TAF, what would you see?
We should shut down Ypsilanti until Dan Florida is apprehended.
Vince, If I could only see on thing, I’d go for the Manhole cover band, Hollis and the Coats. I’ve always wondered what those songs would be like in the hands of actual musicians.
How did you make the walls move in that first video? It was incredibly disorienting.
Everyone should start applying their nail polish at the first knuckle.
Mark, did you know I was having a contest with myself to see how many of my designs could end up on your site before I move, without any effort on my part? So far, I’m winning.
What does it mean for someone to have a beard like that? Are there health repercussions? I mean, that beard must demand a disproportionate amount of effort from his body, right? I’m not a doctor, but I think something other internal systems be suffering as every cell in his body is forced to keep producing facial hair.
It’s not the effect the beard has on his body. It’s the effect the beard has on the environment.
He must have to shower for 45 minutes twice a day to keep that thing clean. He probably uses a lot of conditioner and other products that have been tested on animals.
Patrick Elkin’s beard is an ecological and ethical disaster.
Beards are currency in the shadowy world of the hipster elite. Patrick is a tycoon.
didn’t you watch the video?
his beard was filled with chunks of food. at the 4:56 mark you can clearly see a chicken bone in there.
I’d like to comment on the ecosystem that is Patrick’s beard, but all the other what-the-fuckedness of this video has me discombobulated. The application of nail polish. The moving walls. The “attack and praise” strategy being employed by the interviewer. I feel very much off balance.
No health risks, K2. Only benefits. From today’s news.
“Researchers discovered that men with beards and moustaches actually enjoy numerous benefits including, but not limited to, instant handsomeness. A study from the University of Southern Queensland, published in the Radiation Protection Dosimetry journal, found that beards block 90 to 95 percent of UV rays, thereby slowing the aging process and reducing the risk of skin cancer. Got asthma? Pollens and dust simply get stuck in that lustrous facial hair. Additionally, all that hair retains moisture and protects against the wind, keeping you looking young and fresh-faced. What’s more, shaving is usually the cause of ingrown hairs and bacterial infections that lead to acne.”
http://worldobserveronline.com/2013/04/15/beards-keep-you-young-healthy-handsome-says-science-2/
How’d the Hollis and the Coats show go? I couldn’t make it that long.
This city would crumble without Patrick Elkins.
I ran into Dan Florida last night and apologized for what I’d said about him in the video. He said it hadn’t bothered him. “At least someone’s talking about me,” he said.
I don’t want to take on one more project, so this idea is free to anyone who wants it… Next year, there should be a Totally Awesome Feast in conjunction with Totally Awesome Fest. We should close a street and do it up right. Maybe cook a tofu pig in a pit, or something.
I heard that Hollis and the Coates didn’t perform. It would appear that the only member of the band who actually knew how to play the Manhole songs they’d be covering, was outside puking when it came time for them to play… Such things are to be expected at Totally Awesome Fest.
“Totally Awesome Feast featuring Bacon-wrapped Tofu steamed in a Beard Basket?”
Someone make a graphic please.
“Totally Awesome Feast…. featuring bacon-wrapped tofu steamed in a locally grown and harvested artisanal beard basket?”
When the feast description changes from Ypsi to Ann Arbor is with the word “artisanal.” I’m just giving you a hard time though. I LOVE the idea of a feast. I am already daydreaming for next year.
It was artisanal beard, Ben. That’s pure Ypsi.
One day there will be no Patrick Elkins. There will just be beard. He will be completely depleted by it. He will just be a tiny kernel of a man in a sea of beard. I pray for that day.
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