Every so often, on Facebook, Roger Ebert posts his submissions to The New Yorker’s weekly Cartoon Caption Contest. I’ve never given it a shot, as I don’t think I really have a handle on the editorial voice of The New Yorker, but, as I’m laying in bed sick at the moment, with nothing better to do, I’m thinking about giving it a shot. Here’s this week’s cartoon, followed by a few of my preliminary ideas.
OK, here are my ideas thus far:
“This isn’t nearly as erotic as I’d imagined.”
“When I started at this company 30 years ago, in the mail room, I dreamed of this moment.”
“When I turn back around, I expect to hear an apology from whomever it was that moved my cheese.”
Dorian Hudson leads his staff into the uncharted waters of the Seventh Sigma.
The mandates of Obamacare had not ruined the company outright, as the board had projected, but no one looked forward to mole-check Mondays.
The first graduate of the Lyndon Johnson School of Management surveys the world of opportunities before him, and prepares to put his years of training into action.
“And that, I believe, should answer your question as to why I’m the CEO of this company.”
“How dare the government tell me how to operate Domino’s Farms.”
Sorry about the last one, but I just can’t get yesterday’s disturbing post about Tom Monaghan’s desire to maintain a condom-free workplace out of my mind.
28 Comments
Those are all far too funny to make the New Yorker.
i like the seventh sigma one.
As usual, “Christ, what an asshole!” works as a caption.
Not bad for Creating While Sick. I’m with Donna on Seventh Sigma and also like the second one, Mark.
You should submit either of those if entry deadline hasn’t passed.
That said, some frankness: No. 3 isn’t funny and the last two are too wordy. But hey, I didn’t craft any.
Everyone’s a critic, as you surely know.
“You might not want one on your penis, but you *need* one over your mouth.”
The “Who Moved My Cheese” one was clearly a reference to the stupid book on management. The joke, I’m guessing, is that someone actually moved his cheese, and he made the disrobe in order to find it.
Comedy is better when it’s explained.
Link:
http://www.whomovedmycheese.com
“First we get rid of the Big Gulps.”
“Only your hands are beneath the table, Peter. Don’t you dare waste your seed on an Eames chair.”
Weird, I was just reading about the New Yorker.
http://www.thereviewreview.net/publishing-tips/new-yorker-rejects-itself-quasi-scientific-a
“First they came for our Big Gulps. Then they came for our logo-emblazoned clothing items.”
“Can any of you guess how many times I’ve watched Cremaster 5?”
“When I turn around, you’re going to glimpse what my priest used to call ‘frozen ectoplasm.’ “
Being consistently not funny is the New Yorker’s editorial goal for cartoons.
Now, let’s try the exercise again, this time with the understanding that the comic in question would appear in “Hustler” and not “The New Yorker.”
Extremely Relevant:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imKEv7FkjTU
(SFW: Nude Bomb, Don Adams)
I vote for the cheese one. That made me literally LOL and I didn’t need it explained to me!
Murph did you forget how to spell your name?
After a hard day of fucking the American people, the investment bankers have no energy left for one another.
“Albert, I didn’t know you could see the Chop House from the McKinley Centre.”
Mr. Y,
Yes, indeed.
I’m with Murf; the cheese one made me crack up. I love them all though. And Peter is right, they are too funny for the New Yorker.
How ’bout “It’s possible our Fridays have become too casual.”
The funniest thing about this cartoon is that it’s 2013, and the New Yorker is still too timid and middlebrow to show naked people with nipples and genitals.
“Can we have our nipples back?”
“Casual Friday gives way to casual sex Friday.”
I think Robert’s suggestion is the most The New Yorker-esque.
Yes cmadler. I think Mark’s captions are too cerebral. The New Yorker doesn’t put that much depth in their cartoon captions. They know better. They don’t want to lose anybody.