Was I the only one thinking that Marco Rubio was hitting the pollyjuice potion tonight?

This evening, when Marco Rubio franticly lunged for his water bottle during the Republican response to President Obabma’s State of the Union address, was I think only one to immediately think, “polyjuice potion“?

I’m not necessarily suggesting that the esteemed representative of the Koch Brothers in the United States Senate, is a Death Eater intent of bring “He Who Must Not Be Named” to power, but I’m finding it difficult to watch the above video and not see hints of Barty Crouch Jr. (in the guise of Alastor “Mad Eye” Moody), desperately tugging at his flask in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, in hopes of delaying the transformation into his true, horrid self.

Which begs the question – Who would Rubio transform into, if he were deprived of pollyjuice potion?

My money is on Dick Cheney.

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  1. anonymous
    Posted February 13, 2013 at 11:00 am | Permalink

    Our Death Eaters don’t attempt to hide.

  2. Anonymatt
    Posted February 13, 2013 at 1:27 pm | Permalink

    I’m hoping you’re not putting your money where your mouth is.

  3. Elf
    Posted February 13, 2013 at 1:27 pm | Permalink

    The only thing slightly appealing about your scenario is that the real Rubio is locked in a box somewhere.

  4. Knox
    Posted February 13, 2013 at 1:49 pm | Permalink

    That position is cursed. Does anyone remember how Bobby Jindal did when it was his turn to provide the Republican response? The Republicans put out their rising stars and invariably they’re destroyed. It’s fun to watch.

  5. Meta
    Posted February 13, 2013 at 2:03 pm | Permalink

    A compilation of all of Rubio’s dry mouth noises.


  6. Meta
    Posted February 13, 2013 at 2:06 pm | Permalink

    Eugene Robinson’s on Rubio’s speech:

    At a moment when the Republican Party needs rebranding, Rubio offered nothing new. The thrust of his speech was “government bad, capitalism good.” Yet he recounted how beneficial government assistance has been to his own success. I expected him to resolve the contradiction, but he didn’t even try.

    Read more:

  7. anon
    Posted February 13, 2013 at 2:57 pm | Permalink

    does the nra condone dorner’s valiant stand against racism?

  8. Elliott
    Posted February 13, 2013 at 4:13 pm | Permalink

    He’s drinking Reagan’s semen. They all do it. It tastes great with baby blood.

  9. XXX
    Posted February 13, 2013 at 4:40 pm | Permalink

    There are conspiracy theories that Obama had someone give him a water-like liquid instead of water, which made him more thirsty and sweaty.

  10. XXX
    Posted February 13, 2013 at 4:43 pm | Permalink

    As for who is in Rubio’s skin, I’d say the Koch brothers probably take turns wearing it. I think it spices up their love making.

  11. K2
    Posted February 13, 2013 at 7:23 pm | Permalink

    While you complain about shit like this the Japanese have overtaken us in the race to construct the world’s first chocolate Bruce Willis.


  12. Bob Krzewinski
    Posted February 13, 2013 at 9:06 pm | Permalink

    Others too, think something is up…

  13. Meta
    Posted February 14, 2013 at 7:46 am | Permalink

    Speaking of the Koch brothers, there’s a new academic study which finds that they’re responsible for the Tea Party movement.

    A new academic study confirms that front groups with longstanding ties to the tobacco industry and the billionaire Koch brothers planned the formation of the Tea Party movement more than a decade before it exploded onto the U.S. political scene.

    Far from a genuine grassroots uprising, this astroturf effort was curated by wealthy industrialists years in advance. Many of the anti-science operatives who defended cigarettes are currently deploying their tobacco-inspired playbook internationally to evade accountability for the fossil fuel industry’s role in driving climate disruption.

    The study, funded by the National Cancer Institute of the National Institute of Health, traces the roots of the Tea Party’s anti-tax movement back to the early 1980s when tobacco companies began to invest in third party groups to fight excise taxes on cigarettes, as well as health studies finding a link between cancer and secondhand cigarette smoke.

    Published in the peer-reviewed academic journal, Tobacco Control, the study titled, ‘To quarterback behind the scenes, third party efforts’: the tobacco industry and the Tea Party, is not just an historical account of activities in a bygone era. As senior author, Stanton Glantz, a University of California, San Francisco (UCSF) professor of medicine, writes:

    “Nonprofit organizations associated with the Tea Party have longstanding ties to tobacco companies, and continue to advocate on behalf of the tobacco industry’s anti-tax, anti-regulation agenda.”

    The two main organizations identified in the UCSF Quarterback study are Americans for Prosperity and Freedomworks. Both groups are now “supporting the tobacco companies’ political agenda by mobilizing local Tea Party opposition to tobacco taxes and smoke-free laws.” Freedomworks and Americans for Prosperity were once a single organization called Citizens for a Sound Economy (CSE). CSE was founded in 1984 by the infamous Koch Brothers, David and Charles Koch, and received over $5.3 million from tobacco companies, mainly Philip Morris, between 1991 and 2004.

    Read more:

  14. Posted February 19, 2013 at 12:28 pm | Permalink

    I just stumbled across the undeleted threads concerning the recent inflation and explosion of Matthew Altruda’s ego on the music scene. Another billboard idea to pass along “Is Non-Local Bankers Think Pan Handling is a Cooking Show.”

    Matthew served inspiration for yet another BIAA billboard slogan, that comes with song lyrics (drum roll please):

    What’s a Turda? Non-local bankers think it’s something brown that floats. For once, they’re right!

    Lyrics by Margarine O’Leo

    You gotta have a lot of money,
    You gotta spend a lot of dough,
    If you’re wanna get plugged,
    On my local music radio show.

    You gotta have 500 likes,
    And fancy press kit,
    Even if you’re a street musician ,
    And you don’t make shit.

    Of course, there’s exceptions to the rules,
    Friends, relatives, rear kissing tools,
    I’m all about love, unless I don’t like you
    Then only place you’ll get a booking is Timbuktoo.

    Yeah, I’m a one-man music monopoloy
    I manage ‘em, book ‘em, and do publicity
    And it all adds up to more money for me!

    I support local music but book bands from out of state,
    Or bands that I manage but if you get irate,
    And you’re a public radio DJ who calls things on the square,
    I’ll Clear Channel your ass and try to get you off the air.

    I’m a one-man music monopoly,
    I manage ‘em, book ‘em, and do publicity,
    So don’t even think about messing with me.

    I’ve even got a billboard,
    But it’s much too small,
    To fit my ego ,
    It should be 100 feet tall!

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