Who in their right mind would purposefully invite Michael Winslow into their community? Aren’t we, the people of Ypsilanti, dealing with enough already? Have you seen the Police Academy documentaries? Do you know what this man is capable of? He wreaks havoc, and does so without the least bit of remorse. He’s a textbook sociopath. And he’s going to be here in a few short weeks, walking among us, making us think that we’re walking around in soggy sneakers, and being attacked by predator drones.
And why did I just have to stumble across this poster at Sidetrack tonight? Isn’t this the kind of thing that should be on the news everywhere? Isn’t this the kind of thing that the emergency broadcast system was made for?
People need to prepare themselves.
Here’s an idea, though… What if we find out when he’s coming into town, and strike proactively? What if we descend upon him at his hotel, and hit him with a solid, prolonged attack of poorly-executed, novice sound effects? Just imagine how cool it would be to be in the elevator with him, making fart sounds behind his back, or to be hiding behind a potted plant in the hallway outside of his room, making snarling dog sounds.
[note: There is one cool thing about his coming to Ypsi, though. His website lists his upcoming schedule as “Ireland, Ypsilanti, Seattle.” I think that’s pretty awesome… And, speaking of predator drones, did I hear correctly, upon waking up from my 36-hour flu-coma, that we’ve made it even easier for Obama to snuff out American citizens at will? So much for thinking that we wouldn’t have to worry about things like “targeted killings” when we elected a professor of Constitutional law to be our President.]