Announcing the markmaynard.com Super Cool Header Project

    By now, you’ve no doubt noticed the new header at the top of the page. That’s me up there, on the left. This photo, if I’m not mistaken, was taken right at about the time I was selected to serve as Little Mister Frankfort. (To date, it’s still my only beauty pageant title.) It was the apex of my beauty, and, apparently, of my happiness as well… Linette always gets a kick out of this photo, as it’s so antithetical to my character as an adult. It was her idea to use it in the header. I think that she wanted to remind me that, regardless of how bad things might get, there’s always that laughing baby in there somewhere… Or, on second thought, maybe she just wanted to point out to me that I’ve always been fat... Either way, I think it’s a nice image, and I hope you enjoy it more than the old image of me, covered in zits, scars and boils.

    This, I should point out, is just the first of many new headers that you’ll be finding when you come to the site. I got inspired a few days ago, and put the word out to a number of friends who are great designers and photographers, asking them to contribute images for the top of the page. And, actually, I didn’t ask just that. In addition to asking for a header, I also asked for them each to send me an ad for something that they’d like to promote on the site. In this way, I figured, I’d not only get some cool new, thought-provoking artwork for the site, and perhaps gain a little insight into what it is that my friends think that I do here, but, at the same time, I’d get to help them sell records, promote causes that they care passionately about, drive traffic to their favorite local businesses, or whatever. This first header, as you’ll see, is accompanied by a link to one of Linette’s favorite non-profits, Fly Children’s Art Center, in the right hand column.

    Here’s how I pitched the idea to friends:

    If you make a header for my site, it will be used. Even if it’s terrible. (Assuming it’s wouldn’t be illegal for me to do so.) It may not be used for long, but it will be used. And, while it’s being used, I will run an ad for anything that you want in the right hand column of my site. If you want for me to link to a local abortion clinic, that would be fine. If you want to write something about how much you hate the site, that would be fine too. You can even sell “I Hate Mark Maynard” t-shirts, if you want…

    And, I’m happy to say, a lot of great submissions have already started coming in as a result. So, stay tuned… And be sure to check out the links in the right hand column, which will be rotating right along with the headers.

    Also, if you have an idea for a header of your own, send it in. I can’t promise, at this point, that everything will make it to the site, but I’ll consider anything… especially if it involves a candid photos of me singing along to NWA in my car and/or picking pot roast from between my teeth with a fingernail… Seriously, I’m fascinated to see how you folks would sum this site up in an image. So, bring it on… All I ask is that, somewhere on the image, you include “MarkMaynard.com.” The rest, as far as I’m concerned, is fair game… And, if I choose to run your image, I’ll also run an ad for anything that you like, regardless of how distasteful I find it personally. That, as far as I’m concerned, is part of the art.

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      9 Comments

      1. Eel
        Posted April 2, 2012 at 9:55 pm | Permalink

        Note to self…… Commission goatse.

      2. anonymous
        Posted April 3, 2012 at 8:31 am | Permalink

        Someone absolutely has to address ball shaving, right?

        Is there a way to do that in a classy way, I wonder.

      3. Knox
        Posted April 3, 2012 at 8:44 am | Permalink

        I think that a rusty, old straight razor covered in pubic hairs and soap suds would accomplish the task.

      4. K2
        Posted April 3, 2012 at 9:00 am | Permalink

        The new header reminds me of a kinder, gentler version of this.

        http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/73/Bat_Boy.PNG

      5. Steve Swan
        Posted April 3, 2012 at 12:49 pm | Permalink

        Once I determine that it’s legal to make love to a Reborn Doll, I will be sending in a new header for the site.

      6. Elf
        Posted April 3, 2012 at 2:46 pm | Permalink

        I haven’t seen it in years, but, somewhere on the internet, you can find those nude photos that a young Dr. Laura Schlessinger sent to the married man that she was seeing. I expect that they could be edited in such a way as to really bring out the horror and hypocrisy.

        I also like the idea of just rotating through some great photos of Ypsilanti. While the name of the site is MarkMaynard.com, I think the city itself is just as big of a character. I’d love to see some alternating photos of beauty and true grit.

      7. Anonymous Mike
        Posted April 3, 2012 at 3:43 pm | Permalink

        $5 for the first person to spray paint markmaynard.com on the side of a police card and photograph it?

      8. Edward
        Posted April 4, 2012 at 5:57 am | Permalink

        An idea came to me in my sleep last night for a tag line.

        “Mark Maynard dotcom…. Every Generation a Hero is Born……… except for this one”

      9. Knox
        Posted April 17, 2012 at 2:45 pm | Permalink

        What the fuck was that!

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