Wurst Bar criticism

It took three visits, but we finally have something negative to say about Ypsi’s Wurst Bar.

…Speaking straws, I can’t use one without remembering something that my friend Jeff once told me. He said that his dad, every time he saw a man using one, would roll his eyes and mumble something about the guy needing a, “sissy stick.” Has anyone else ever heard that term used? Is straw use considered less than masculine in popular American culture, or is this something unique to my friend’s family in West Virginia?

As for the Wurst Bar, it was packed last night at 8:00… A very cool thing to see in Ypsilanti.

[For more on the Wurst Bar, you can find my interview with owner Jesse Kranyak here.]

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  1. Kristin
    Posted February 19, 2012 at 5:32 pm | Permalink

    Everywhere I go people are talking about the Wurst Bar!

  2. Fran
    Posted February 19, 2012 at 5:36 pm | Permalink

    Using Linette’s arm for comparison, I would say that’s a hella long sissy stick.

  3. Eel
    Posted February 19, 2012 at 6:06 pm | Permalink

    Let’s be thankful that Mark didn’t take the opportunity to run a headline like this:

    Mark Maynard’s wife declares, ‘It’s at least an inch too long’

  4. Eel
    Posted February 19, 2012 at 6:19 pm | Permalink

    And it’s not really your first criticism, is it?

    If you’ll recall, you already tried to ruin them by announcing to the world that men had to pee holding hands there.


  5. Ben
    Posted February 19, 2012 at 7:25 pm | Permalink

    They used to show a Dana Carvey special on Comedy Central, which is now hosted on the Digital Archive Project (http://www.dapcentral.org/modules.php?op=modload&name=MasterList2&file=index&show=33&ep=21&func=detail) where he mentions that comment about the straw. It’s from 1995 and it seemed wierd when I originally saw it back in the day.

  6. Jesse
    Posted February 19, 2012 at 8:37 pm | Permalink

    Ha! Dang… Well, it was a green decision, there were a case of straws here when we took over so it was use the old straws or throw them away.

    On a burger note, we have been working in a direction towards creating what I am happy to call the most delicious burger we can make. Well, an accidental fusion of sauces from our oyster rock your fella brat special and a hamburger, it happened. We start it as our new burger tomorrow, and it’s coming on a special Zingerman’s brioche. Mark, like crack, the first one is free for you…

  7. Jim Karnopp
    Posted February 19, 2012 at 9:00 pm | Permalink

    I was in there yesterday for the first time, and I was really impressed with the food and beer selection. It was quite a contrast from Theo’s and a really nice addition to Ypsilanti.

  8. Posted February 19, 2012 at 9:11 pm | Permalink

    You had me at free, Jesse.

    Nothing but praise from now on.

  9. Posted February 19, 2012 at 9:23 pm | Permalink

    My guess is that Pop is too insecure about his masculinity to suck the sissy stick. He’s probably too scared to eat bananas too. Well, sometimes a straw is just a straw…

  10. Conan Smith
    Posted February 19, 2012 at 10:48 pm | Permalink

    Could be that the glasses are too short.

  11. x
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 3:45 am | Permalink

    I noticed the long straws too. I rarely use one. Its unmanly. But it did help Junior drink his root beer much slower as he had to bend it in a 90 degree angle. Root beer is like crack to a three year old.

    Also noticed the ultra thin nozzle openings on the condiments. Which probably help with less wastage but to a three year old on root beer crack, one good squeeze sends it yards into the air. Or all over your face.

    Black Label wasn’t cold enough, but Best Brown was. Not sure why. Cheap beer needs to be really cold. Need more Bells selection, preferably Third Coast Beer which no restaurants have.

    Overall food very good. Waitress outstanding.

  12. Thom Elliott
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 8:16 am | Permalink

    …I know at the risk of starting another fight over how stupid vegetarianism is, and how it is only for queers who hate America and should just shut up, and let the manly enjoy their heterosexual “food” in “peace” without all those faggot questions about technology, nihilism, animal moral consideration, and the most expensive diseases that are a plague on our land and amongst the most serious threats in the short term to our country; I wonder aloud how many clots have been knocked loose in some good ole boys carotids already, and how much money is it costing us to save thier lives (if they can be), just so they can go back and choke down more sausage.

  13. EOS
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 8:42 am | Permalink


    You should be thankful for those who eat sausage and die at an early age due to hypertension,coronary artery disease, and diabetes. They are sacrificing their bodies for the collective. Dead corpses spend less on health care. Vegetarians, on the other hand, hope to preserve their bodies well into their nineties and beyond, where they’ll require more and more health care dollars as their organs slowly fail and their brittle bones shatter. Perhaps society can charge vegetarians more for their health care insurance in lieu of the added care expenses required as a result of their extended lives. Maybe we can add non-smokers and runners in this category as well.

  14. Mr. X
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 9:19 am | Permalink

    Thom, did you miss the part about them having a pretty decent vegetarian menu? You might want to give the place a shot before attacking. They aren’t in any way anti-vegetarian. And, as far as I know, Jesse hasn’t taken a stand one way or another on “faggots” who like to talk about nihilism. I suspect that he doesn’t give a shit, though.

    What he has done, however, is create a pretty kick ass place on what was a dead business corridor in Ypsilanti, hiring people, drawing foot traffic, bringing EMU students across the divide, and making it all the more feasible that a vegan place could open next door and thrive. These are good things.

  15. Mr. X
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 9:19 am | Permalink

    And, just to be clear, “faggots” was your term, not mine.

  16. Eel
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 10:45 am | Permalink

    Maybe the dicks that he’s seen look like straws. I’ve never seen West Virginia dick, but I imagine that there could be regional differences when it comes to such things.

  17. Watching Laughing.
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 10:50 am | Permalink

    Nice picture of your wife, Mark.


  18. anonymous
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 11:00 am | Permalink

    Maybe your friend’s dad hangs out in places where they use these……


  19. Meta
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 12:49 pm | Permalink

    If I’m not mistaken, the poster behind her is for the for the film The Brides of Fu Manchu.



  20. Brainless
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 1:40 pm | Permalink

    Oh Thom Thom Thommy, you just never give up, do you? You’re about a hoot and half with your sociopathic ramblings. Eat some beef and those voices will probably stop. When you heard, “Thom, stop eating meat” they were actually saying, “Thom, stop for some meat.” I’m sure you got your knickers in such a lather about saving the world that you just misheard.

    Well, fight the good fight, my good man. Your offensive little rants are probably pushing shitloads of business Jesse’s way and I’ll just go ahead and thank you for him since it wouldn’t be politically expedient for him to do so.

  21. Edward
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 4:48 pm | Permalink

    There are worse companies, Thom. If you’re looking for one, try Pizza Hut.

    Need a reason?

    Check out this picture of the Sphinx.


  22. Edward
    Posted February 20, 2012 at 4:52 pm | Permalink

    And, on the bright side, we could be eating meatless meat in the near future.

    First ‘test-tube’ hamburger to be produced this year: The world’s first “test-tube” meat, a hamburger made from a cow’s stem cells, will be produced this fall, Dutch scientist Mark Post told a major science conference on Sunday.

    So, cheer up, Thom.


  23. Jules
    Posted February 21, 2012 at 1:02 pm | Permalink

    Seriously, EOS made me laugh, for the first time!

  24. anonymous
    Posted February 21, 2012 at 1:11 pm | Permalink

    You need the long straws, if you want to drink from the trough urinal.

  25. Eel
    Posted March 14, 2012 at 6:38 pm | Permalink

    A2.com had some criticisms as well.


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