As you know, I have a policy against recommending establishments that force men to haul out their penises and dangle them over trough urinals. In spite of that, though, I’m going to encourage all of you to visit Ypsilanti’s newest watering hole, The Wurst Bar. While homemade bratwursts seem to be their speciality, I just tried the burger they call The Southerner, which is served with bacon, pimento cheese and a slice fried green tomato, and it was awesome. I’d like to say more about this place, their commitment to sourcing 85% of their ingredients locally, and the fact that the man in charge is easily angered, but all of that will have to wait for another time. Right now, I just need to collapse into a tater tot induced coma.
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Trough urinals are terrible. Urinals full of ice, however, are classy. As this place has both, I’m torn.
And the burger, which came with tater tots, tasted better than it looks here. It was actually quite good, and the beer selection was also better than I’d anticipated…
I never went to Theo’s, which inhabited this space, across from EMU, prior The Wurst Bar, but I have to believe that this is a huge improvement.
Welcome to the neighborhood.
I’d like to see a whole series of restaurant reviews that consist of two photos. One of food. One of toilet. That’s all I need to see.
Maybe there’s a way to get some voyeurism/exhibitionism in without shocking the fragile sensibilities of our bladders. I suggest that all men be provided with private urinals, but be required to keep their junk out until done washing their hands.
If you’re ashamed of your penis that much, you should get a catheter for when you go out to eat.
FWIW, Sidetracks can’t cook a burger to save its life and the bathrooms rival the 8 Ball’s (the dive bar under the Blind Pig) for absolute decrepitude. Glad we finally have some competition in town.
we had a blast at the wurst bar on saturday night. my veggie burger was super tasty and my lady’s bratwurst was delish. the women’s room does not suffer the trough, however you can see the heads of taller folks standing cause the crusty doors are short. they also serve up tater tot nachos–spicy and fattening. and the pimento cheese with pretzel sticks toward the end of our night was a perfect snack to soak up the beer we’d been slinging back for way too many hours.
Karen, couldn’t it perhaps be that he’s afraid that the enormity of his penis, and it’s majesty, could cause other men to cry and feel bad about themselves? Given how incredibly selfless he is, I imagine that’s a very real possibility.
All I said is you were ashamed of your penis. Maybe you’re ashamed of it’s giant size or lack thereof. Maybe you are ashamed of discoloration problems. Maybe it’s less penis-related and has something to do with your testicles. I don’t really care. I was only suggesting a catheter as a compromise to your issues with troughs.
Karen, is it just Mark’s penis that you’re obsessed with, or are there others?
The worst were the trough urinals that were at the old Tiger Stadium… they were circular if I remember right.
Great place. Great vegan food! Great beer! Free Foosball and Pool (for now) too.
When using the trough, I stood to the far left and estimated four people my size could fit in a row. Maybe three the size of Mark. The next dude to enter the bathroom went straight into the stall. With disappointment, I asked if he was gonna sit like a lady too.
When you say “my size” you’re referring to your penis, right, Andy?
Has anyone had their “crawfish and cod” sausage?
I’m assuming the ingredients for that one fall within the 15% that won’t be sourced locally. Or, is there a crawfish farm that I’m not familiar with?
I don’t like communal peeing, and I don’t like it when people make breathing noises when they are peeing next to me–or pooping nearby. Blech.
Maybe troughs would be okay if we were all singing together while peeing. That’s not a bad idea. On a busy night, with a constant line at the bathroom, we could sing a song with sequential lines, like “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.” We could start with “1,000” bottles of beer. You’d pee and pitch in on a few verses, and return to your table full of joy. On later trips you’s see it got down to 538 bottles, and later 242 bottles. A guy now and then might announce what the count was, upon exiting the bathroom (or we could keep a secret from the women, like some sort of inside joke, providing the sound didn’t carry to their bathroom–maybe secret hand signs or drinking signals could convey the current count). It would get to the point where excitement would take over the whole place, as every guy would want to be peeing when the song got down to one bottle of beer on the wall. That’s the kind of world I want to live in.
I also wish the Sidetrack would take better care of their bathrooms.
Aubrees bathrooms are also disgusting. But I like the urinals that go all the way to the floor.
Since no one else has yet, I’d like to make the claim that I don’t like to use ice-filled urine troughs because they’re too cold.
The Southerner sounds delicious.
They don’t provide the ice, by they way. It came from my pants.
And I’ll be responding to you on the front page, Karen.
Is that true about the circular urinal at the old Tigers stadium. Oh, I want it to be. Circle jerk, circle pee!
I thought that Theo’s had been closed for years. In all my time in Ypsi, I’ve never seen anyone go in or out though those massive wooden doors. Am I to understand, however, that they were open until recently? Is anyone sad about their going out of business?
Hey guys! I am Jesse from Wurst… First of all, hello Mr. Maynard… I am glad you liked the burger, we actually grind it from chuck, brisket and short rib in our kitchen. I have been hiding from the public until we opened and had established ourselves as a worthy ypsi business… However, I feel compelled to respond to our bathroom situation. It’s embarrassing! But, fret not. New bathrooms are on my agenda! Here’s the thing, you can’t remodel & build a new place in 13 days AND put in bathrooms before schools back in session. Summer will bring about some new things like an exterior and bathrooms. I promise. But, in the mean time if you bear with us, we are cranking out some very fresh, tasty, house made items. Also, our goal is 85%, but we aren’t going to be there for about another 2 months, it takes a minute to nail down the menu and shop prices, at our other place I am usually 50% Ohio local after 3 months (we have another place on an island in lake Erie)… But thus on an island. Of course, tater tots, rattlesnake, bison, etc… Isn’t local.
Anyway, thanks for the mention!!
I did not try the bathroom, but the brat I had there tonight was tasty.
The wurst part is, the trough is in the women’s restroom.
Jesse, if it’s not too much trouble, can you run a streaming video-catheter from the ladies’ restroom straight to Karen’s mobile urethra? Maybe you can offset the costs by naming a dip after it?
Mark will at some point, I predict, start a petition to have The Southerner named after him. The owners will respond by placing a bronze plaque above the urinal with him name on it. Ypsilanti’s financial manager, claiming it as a public asset, will sell it on Ebay, along with the City parks and street lights.
Karen will get caught, peeping in Mark’s window, like that pediatrician in Ann Arbor, trying to catch a glimpse of him peeing. She will go to prison, fall in love with her cellmate, Divid Kircher, who pees on himself freely without the least bit of apprehension, and they start churning out an Ypsilanti master race.
I visited the Wurst Bar tonight, and I must say, that trough is rather awkward. The space in the bathroom is quite small, forcing you to stand should-to-shoulder with the other urinators and take in all of their splashy-goodness if you don’t use the regular toilet. It isn’t about having to pull out your penis in front of strange, half-drunk men, the situation in an of itself is just quite awkward.
The ice is in there for the guys to lay theirnsausages the full length of the trougth… When your schwanz is that long it generates a lot of heat, hence the ice bath necessary to cool down your lochness monster.
you are a pansy if you are afraid to piss with your buddies at a trough. plain and simple. every bar should have them!
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