The Wurst Bar… tasty meat trumps trough urinals

    As you know, I have a policy against recommending establishments that force men to haul out their penises and dangle them over trough urinals. In spite of that, though, I’m going to encourage all of you to visit Ypsilanti’s newest watering hole, The Wurst Bar. While homemade bratwursts seem to be their speciality, I just tried the burger they call The Southerner, which is served with bacon, pimento cheese and a slice fried green tomato, and it was awesome. I’d like to say more about this place, their commitment to sourcing 85% of their ingredients locally, and the fact that the man in charge is easily angered, but all of that will have to wait for another time. Right now, I just need to collapse into a tater tot induced coma.

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      29 Comments

      1. Posted January 24, 2012 at 12:34 am | Permalink

        Trough urinals are terrible. Urinals full of ice, however, are classy. As this place has both, I’m torn.

      2. Posted January 24, 2012 at 12:38 am | Permalink

        And the burger, which came with tater tots, tasted better than it looks here. It was actually quite good, and the beer selection was also better than I’d anticipated…

        I never went to Theo’s, which inhabited this space, across from EMU, prior The Wurst Bar, but I have to believe that this is a huge improvement.

        Welcome to the neighborhood.

      3. Edward
        Posted January 24, 2012 at 7:46 am | Permalink

        I’d like to see a whole series of restaurant reviews that consist of two photos. One of food. One of toilet. That’s all I need to see.

      4. dr
        Posted January 24, 2012 at 8:31 am | Permalink

        Maybe there’s a way to get some voyeurism/exhibitionism in without shocking the fragile sensibilities of our bladders. I suggest that all men be provided with private urinals, but be required to keep their junk out until done washing their hands.

      5. karen
        Posted January 24, 2012 at 9:20 am | Permalink

        If you’re ashamed of your penis that much, you should get a catheter for when you go out to eat.

      6. j
        Posted January 24, 2012 at 9:40 am | Permalink

        FWIW, Sidetracks can’t cook a burger to save its life and the bathrooms rival the 8 Ball’s (the dive bar under the Blind Pig) for absolute decrepitude. Glad we finally have some competition in town.

      7. Natalie Holbrook
        Posted January 24, 2012 at 10:12 am | Permalink

        we had a blast at the wurst bar on saturday night. my veggie burger was super tasty and my lady’s bratwurst was delish. the women’s room does not suffer the trough, however you can see the heads of taller folks standing cause the crusty doors are short. they also serve up tater tot nachos–spicy and fattening. and the pimento cheese with pretzel sticks toward the end of our night was a perfect snack to soak up the beer we’d been slinging back for way too many hours.

      8. Mr. X
        Posted January 24, 2012 at 10:26 am | Permalink

        Karen, couldn’t it perhaps be that he’s afraid that the enormity of his penis, and it’s majesty, could cause other men to cry and feel bad about themselves? Given how incredibly selfless he is, I imagine that’s a very real possibility.

      9. karen
        Posted January 24, 2012 at 10:51 am | Permalink

        All I said is you were ashamed of your penis. Maybe you’re ashamed of it’s giant size or lack thereof. Maybe you are ashamed of discoloration problems. Maybe it’s less penis-related and has something to do with your testicles. I don’t really care. I was only suggesting a catheter as a compromise to your issues with troughs.

      10. Eel
        Posted January 24, 2012 at 10:58 am | Permalink

        Karen, is it just Mark’s penis that you’re obsessed with, or are there others?

      11. Star Child
        Posted January 24, 2012 at 11:13 am | Permalink

        The worst were the trough urinals that were at the old Tiger Stadium… they were circular if I remember right.

      12. Andy C
        Posted January 24, 2012 at 12:38 pm | Permalink

        Great place. Great vegan food! Great beer! Free Foosball and Pool (for now) too.

        When using the trough, I stood to the far left and estimated four people my size could fit in a row. Maybe three the size of Mark. The next dude to enter the bathroom went straight into the stall. With disappointment, I asked if he was gonna sit like a lady too.

      13. Eel
        Posted January 24, 2012 at 1:33 pm | Permalink

        When you say “my size” you’re referring to your penis, right, Andy?

      14. anonymous
        Posted January 24, 2012 at 3:00 pm | Permalink

        Has anyone had their “crawfish and cod” sausage?

        I’m assuming the ingredients for that one fall within the 15% that won’t be sourced locally. Or, is there a crawfish farm that I’m not familiar with?

      15. dirtgrain
        Posted January 24, 2012 at 7:08 pm | Permalink

        I don’t like communal peeing, and I don’t like it when people make breathing noises when they are peeing next to me–or pooping nearby. Blech.

        Maybe troughs would be okay if we were all singing together while peeing. That’s not a bad idea. On a busy night, with a constant line at the bathroom, we could sing a song with sequential lines, like “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.” We could start with “1,000″ bottles of beer. You’d pee and pitch in on a few verses, and return to your table full of joy. On later trips you’s see it got down to 538 bottles, and later 242 bottles. A guy now and then might announce what the count was, upon exiting the bathroom (or we could keep a secret from the women, like some sort of inside joke, providing the sound didn’t carry to their bathroom–maybe secret hand signs or drinking signals could convey the current count). It would get to the point where excitement would take over the whole place, as every guy would want to be peeing when the song got down to one bottle of beer on the wall. That’s the kind of world I want to live in.

        I also wish the Sidetrack would take better care of their bathrooms.

      16. x
        Posted January 24, 2012 at 7:52 pm | Permalink

        Aubrees bathrooms are also disgusting. But I like the urinals that go all the way to the floor.

      17. Anonymatt
        Posted January 24, 2012 at 7:59 pm | Permalink

        Since no one else has yet, I’d like to make the claim that I don’t like to use ice-filled urine troughs because they’re too cold.

        The Southerner sounds delicious.

      18. Posted January 24, 2012 at 8:50 pm | Permalink

        They don’t provide the ice, by they way. It came from my pants.

      19. Posted January 24, 2012 at 8:50 pm | Permalink

        And I’ll be responding to you on the front page, Karen.

      20. Jules
        Posted January 25, 2012 at 7:59 am | Permalink

        Is that true about the circular urinal at the old Tigers stadium. Oh, I want it to be. Circle jerk, circle pee!

      21. SK
        Posted January 25, 2012 at 9:29 am | Permalink

        I thought that Theo’s had been closed for years. In all my time in Ypsi, I’ve never seen anyone go in or out though those massive wooden doors. Am I to understand, however, that they were open until recently? Is anyone sad about their going out of business?

      22. Posted January 25, 2012 at 11:43 pm | Permalink

        Hey guys! I am Jesse from Wurst… First of all, hello Mr. Maynard… I am glad you liked the burger, we actually grind it from chuck, brisket and short rib in our kitchen. I have been hiding from the public until we opened and had established ourselves as a worthy ypsi business… However, I feel compelled to respond to our bathroom situation. It’s embarrassing! But, fret not. New bathrooms are on my agenda! Here’s the thing, you can’t remodel & build a new place in 13 days AND put in bathrooms before schools back in session. Summer will bring about some new things like an exterior and bathrooms. I promise. But, in the mean time if you bear with us, we are cranking out some very fresh, tasty, house made items. Also, our goal is 85%, but we aren’t going to be there for about another 2 months, it takes a minute to nail down the menu and shop prices, at our other place I am usually 50% Ohio local after 3 months (we have another place on an island in lake Erie)… But thus on an island. Of course, tater tots, rattlesnake, bison, etc… Isn’t local.
        Anyway, thanks for the mention!!

      23. james
        Posted January 26, 2012 at 12:10 am | Permalink

        I did not try the bathroom, but the brat I had there tonight was tasty.

      24. Posted January 26, 2012 at 10:00 pm | Permalink

        The wurst part is, the trough is in the women’s restroom.

      25. Kathy
        Posted January 26, 2012 at 11:36 pm | Permalink

        Jesse, if it’s not too much trouble, can you run a streaming video-catheter from the ladies’ restroom straight to Karen’s mobile urethra? Maybe you can offset the costs by naming a dip after it?

      26. menpillz
        Posted January 27, 2012 at 8:09 am | Permalink

        Mark will at some point, I predict, start a petition to have The Southerner named after him. The owners will respond by placing a bronze plaque above the urinal with him name on it. Ypsilanti’s financial manager, claiming it as a public asset, will sell it on Ebay, along with the City parks and street lights.

        Karen will get caught, peeping in Mark’s window, like that pediatrician in Ann Arbor, trying to catch a glimpse of him peeing. She will go to prison, fall in love with her cellmate, Divid Kircher, who pees on himself freely without the least bit of apprehension, and they start churning out an Ypsilanti master race.

      27. Max Abuelsamid
        Posted January 27, 2012 at 9:24 pm | Permalink

        I visited the Wurst Bar tonight, and I must say, that trough is rather awkward. The space in the bathroom is quite small, forcing you to stand should-to-shoulder with the other urinators and take in all of their splashy-goodness if you don’t use the regular toilet. It isn’t about having to pull out your penis in front of strange, half-drunk men, the situation in an of itself is just quite awkward.

      28. Gern8000
        Posted March 13, 2012 at 10:29 pm | Permalink

        The ice is in there for the guys to lay theirnsausages the full length of the trougth… When your schwanz is that long it generates a lot of heat, hence the ice bath necessary to cool down your lochness monster.

      29. Posted April 7, 2012 at 4:19 am | Permalink

        you are a pansy if you are afraid to piss with your buddies at a trough. plain and simple. every bar should have them!

      6 Trackbacks

      1. By In defense of my majestic penis on January 25, 2012 at 12:14 am

        [...] Religion, a net positive?In defense of my majestic penisBy Mark | January 25, 2012Last night, in a post about a new bar in Ypsi, I noted my dislike of trough urinals. This admission attracted the following comment from an [...]

      2. By Ypsilanti City government takes a stand on my penis on January 29, 2012 at 12:14 am

        [...] site in a while, here’s the context… Last weekend, I visited a new restaurant in Ypsi and posted something about it. In the review, which was overwhelmingly positive, I noted the fact that the place had a trough [...]

      3. By An interview with The Worst Bar’s Jesse Kranyak on January 29, 2012 at 1:01 am

        [...] penisAn interview with The Worst Bar’s Jesse KranyakBy Mark | January 29, 2012A few days ago, I posted something here about Ypsi’s newest gourmet sausage-filled watering hole, The Wurst Bar. As I said at the [...]

      4. [...] repair, I have it on good authority that The Wurst Bar, at my request, is about to get rid of their trough urinal. What’s more, the bar’s owner, Jesse Kranyak, has offered it to me. I was going to [...]

      5. [...] [...]

      6. [...] get lost in the mix, and forgotten about pretty rapidly.MARK: You mentioned new bathrooms. Are the trough urinals on their way out? And, if so, what happens to retired trough urinals? Is there an [...]

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