At the risk of rekindling the great Ypsilanti Hostage Crisis hysteria of 2010, can someone explain this footage that was just sent to me? It appears to show the beloved local mascot of the Michigan Roots Jamboree being cooked alive. As the footage is undated, I’m not sure if it was shot recently. And I’m not even sure which version of the little yellow fellow this is – if it’s the first generation Jambo, that was held for ransom last summer, or the much larger, second generation version, that was seen stumbling around town not more than a few weeks ago. Anyway, if someone could bring me up to speed, I’d appreciate it. As I had not heard anything from the puppeteering terrorists of the The Diazotrophical Liberation Armada since last summer, I had thought that they’d been driven underground. If this footage is recent, though, and, if they’re behind it, I worry what it could mean for our already fractured and struggling creative community. If this was recently shot, as I suspect that it was, I expect for there to be retribution. [I am calling the Dreamland at this very moment to give orders to have Puppet Mark locked his panic room.]
I know it’s a long shot, but, for the good of our community, I’m hoping that this was an act of self-immolation, and that Jambo chose to do this himself in order to express his displeasure with the color that Stewart Beal has chosen for the Thompson Block.
update: I just received the following note from a man by the name of Toblerone Bananas, claiming that his organization, the Diazotrophical Meowkestra, had nothing whatsoever to do with the immolation of well-respected Ypsilanti community organizer Jambo Man.
I would like to protest this new round of slanderous accusations and mislabeling of the Diazotrophical Meowkestra by Mr. Mark Maynard, abusing his power of his blog as indisputably most accurate source of up to date information about Ypsilanti and ball-shaving in order to distort the facts for his own mysterious purposes. As the record shows, following constructive criticism from the fine readers of markmaynard.com citing discomfort with the militarism the DLA changed its name to the Diazotrophical Meowkestra. See the document “Six Politely-worded Constructive Suggestions to the Michigan Roots Jamboree Society That We Kindly Request Be Taken Into Consideration Before Jambo Can Justly Be Returned” dated 11 August 2010.
Additionally, Jambo Man was returned to his mother on 12 August 2010 at the Savoy in Ypsilanti (during a legendary performance by Manhole. By all accounts, he appeared to have been treated well during his retreat with the Meowkestra. One observer specifically noted on mm.com that he appeared to be well hydrated and in good spirits. These facts are well documented as is his abduction on 12 August 2010 by a third party. According to unconfirmed reports, from 12 August 2010 until April 2011 he was safe but living in isolation (and we feared neglect). He was then seen at Totally Awesome Fest 7 on 30 April 2011, again by all accounts appearing well-rested and in good spirits. This brief reunion with members of the Diazotrophical Meowkestra was the only contact between 12 August 2010 and Jambo Man’s presumed demise so cruelly captured on video above. The Diazotrophical Meowkestra condemns this action and was in now way involved in Jambo’s death.
We would appreciate a posted correction to any accusations of our involvement, as we fear that this implicate will damage our efforts as we work underground to heal divides in the creative communities in Ypsilanti, increase awareness of the fundamental role of mychorrhizal fungi in nutrient uptake in vascular root systems (still completely disregarded by the MI “roots” Jamboree) and to work toward our dream of a world where satirical puppet-hostage direct action groups and other forms of non-traditional creative work are accepted as valid creative expression.