Jack “Zorro on Doughnuts” White finally went too far, crossing over from just plain pasty to full-blown Jugaloo.
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Jack White transcends pasty
This entry was posted in Art and Culture and tagged ICP, Insane Clown Posse, Jack White, Juggalos, Leck Mich Im Arsch, Lick me in the arse, Mozart, pasty, pasty people, people who look kind of like Mark, Third Man Records, Zorro, Zorro on doughnuts. Bookmark the permalink. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.
15 Comments
When you mention “pasty,” I assume you reference the traditional upper peninsula meal in a pocket.
While, yes, it is hard to get much whiter, the pasty is hard to pass.
Didn’t Michael Jackson have that skin disease where he was turning Juggalo as well? I think that’s probably why he asked his doctor to kill him.
I, for one, am excited. Plus, it’s a Michigan-Michigan thing, no?
Follow the link and listen to the song, Alicia. I think you’ll find that excitement start to melt away.
Detroit producer Jim Diamond:
http://www.twentyfourbit.com/post/120107542/dead-weather-to-play-conan-jim-diamond-disses-jack
Maybe the Juggalos are the only people in Detroit who will have him.
Back in the day, Mozart sprayed his fans down in mulled wine. (Faygo had not yet been invented by Benjamin Franklin.) Furthermore, he did not understand magnets. And that’s just the tip of tie ICPberg. The similarities between Mozart, and the men of the Insane Clown Posse are almost endless. The only difference is that Mozart wore a wig.
It sounds awful, but it’s one more reason to love Jack White. He quite possibly has more fun, tweaks more noses and dodges convention more than any white rocker since Dylan. He’s probably the only guy of his generation who actually gets what it means to behave like a rock star, and not in the stupid way. There are good reasons why he’s Jack White the international rock star, and the rest of the Detroit garage-rock community is still trying to get gigs at the increasingly irrelevant Magic Stick. Jim Diamonds claim that he co-invented the White Stripes sound was always fucking ridiculous. He wasn’t even the first guy to record the Stripes. I love it when balding & graying hipsters sniff and complain that Jack hasn’t been good since he was on Flying Bomb or playing the Gold Dollar. Some other time we need to set out to correct the history of the ridiculously overrated Gold Dollar.
The Mozart is funnier undiluted. Although I like one of his other pipi-caca rounds, “Bona Nox,” better.
And how long will it be before Mark starts wearing clownface in public?
As opposed to just in the bedroom, Doug?
Now I’ll have nightmares.
I mentioned to Mark recently that he once claimed to look like Jack White, but he didn’t remember having done so.
http://markmaynard.com/?p=3541
Jack White no longer looks unattractive compared to the masthead drawing.
He really does look like in that photo, poor son-of-a-bitch. Thanks for reminding me, Matt.
I’d like to write more, but I’ve got some white makeup to apply before I begin my ritual dance of seduction. (I’ll send photos, Doug.)
Can someone with photoshop skills please make an image of Mozart made up like a Juggalo? I’d like to have it tattooed on my chest.
And, Oggy, I really like pastys. I don’t have a local place to get them anymore, though. Do you have a connection?
I do believe there is a pasty place in A2, on Packard between State & Hill. A bakery of some sort. I have yet to try them, but I often tell myself I’m going to.