Jack White transcends pasty

Jack “Zorro on Doughnuts” White finally went too far, crossing over from just plain pasty to full-blown Jugaloo.

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  1. Oggy Oggy Oggy
    Posted August 31, 2011 at 10:39 pm | Permalink

    When you mention “pasty,” I assume you reference the traditional upper peninsula meal in a pocket.

    While, yes, it is hard to get much whiter, the pasty is hard to pass.

  2. Edward
    Posted September 1, 2011 at 7:45 am | Permalink

    Didn’t Michael Jackson have that skin disease where he was turning Juggalo as well? I think that’s probably why he asked his doctor to kill him.

  3. Alicia
    Posted September 1, 2011 at 7:52 am | Permalink

    I, for one, am excited. Plus, it’s a Michigan-Michigan thing, no?

  4. Mr. X
    Posted September 1, 2011 at 7:56 am | Permalink

    Follow the link and listen to the song, Alicia. I think you’ll find that excitement start to melt away.

  5. Elf
    Posted September 1, 2011 at 8:18 am | Permalink

    Detroit producer Jim Diamond:

    Jack’s leaving Detroit for Nashville: “I don’t think he had many friends left in Detroit. I think he alienated a lot of people,” Diamond said, adding later, “one thing about Detroit, most people are pretty genuine, I’ve found… When they’re not genuine, they move to Nashville.”


  6. Eel
    Posted September 1, 2011 at 9:54 am | Permalink

    Maybe the Juggalos are the only people in Detroit who will have him.

  7. Music Scholar
    Posted September 1, 2011 at 12:57 pm | Permalink

    Back in the day, Mozart sprayed his fans down in mulled wine. (Faygo had not yet been invented by Benjamin Franklin.) Furthermore, he did not understand magnets. And that’s just the tip of tie ICPberg. The similarities between Mozart, and the men of the Insane Clown Posse are almost endless. The only difference is that Mozart wore a wig.

  8. Bob
    Posted September 1, 2011 at 1:55 pm | Permalink

    It sounds awful, but it’s one more reason to love Jack White. He quite possibly has more fun, tweaks more noses and dodges convention more than any white rocker since Dylan. He’s probably the only guy of his generation who actually gets what it means to behave like a rock star, and not in the stupid way. There are good reasons why he’s Jack White the international rock star, and the rest of the Detroit garage-rock community is still trying to get gigs at the increasingly irrelevant Magic Stick. Jim Diamonds claim that he co-invented the White Stripes sound was always fucking ridiculous. He wasn’t even the first guy to record the Stripes. I love it when balding & graying hipsters sniff and complain that Jack hasn’t been good since he was on Flying Bomb or playing the Gold Dollar. Some other time we need to set out to correct the history of the ridiculously overrated Gold Dollar.

  9. Posted September 1, 2011 at 3:25 pm | Permalink

    The Mozart is funnier undiluted. Although I like one of his other pipi-caca rounds, “Bona Nox,” better.

    And how long will it be before Mark starts wearing clownface in public?

  10. Mr. X
    Posted September 1, 2011 at 3:41 pm | Permalink

    As opposed to just in the bedroom, Doug?

  11. Posted September 1, 2011 at 4:02 pm | Permalink

    Now I’ll have nightmares.

  12. Anonymatt
    Posted September 1, 2011 at 4:18 pm | Permalink

    I mentioned to Mark recently that he once claimed to look like Jack White, but he didn’t remember having done so.


    Jack White no longer looks unattractive compared to the masthead drawing.

  13. Posted September 1, 2011 at 7:31 pm | Permalink

    He really does look like in that photo, poor son-of-a-bitch. Thanks for reminding me, Matt.

    I’d like to write more, but I’ve got some white makeup to apply before I begin my ritual dance of seduction. (I’ll send photos, Doug.)

    Can someone with photoshop skills please make an image of Mozart made up like a Juggalo? I’d like to have it tattooed on my chest.

  14. Posted September 1, 2011 at 7:32 pm | Permalink

    And, Oggy, I really like pastys. I don’t have a local place to get them anymore, though. Do you have a connection?

  15. Andrew Jason Clock
    Posted September 1, 2011 at 9:47 pm | Permalink

    I do believe there is a pasty place in A2, on Packard between State & Hill. A bakery of some sort. I have yet to try them, but I often tell myself I’m going to.

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