Weiner, acknowledging mistakes, gushes apologetically

weinerI had higher hopes for my Weiner.

A few days ago, when the penis-posting rumors first started flying about Anthony Weiner – one of my favorite Congressmen – I was tempted to post something here about how he’d been set up by scumbag, bottom-feeding Republican infotainment purveyor Andrew Breitbart. That was, for many of us on the left, the prevailing theory at the time. According to this theory, Weiner’s Twitter account had been hacked by one of Breitbart’s associates, like James O’Keefe, in order to discredit the Congressman in the press. For lack of a better explanation as to how a photo of a bulging penis would have been sent out to tens of thousands, it made sense. Breitbart, as we all knew, had been involved in questionable acts of “journalism” in the past, and the timing even seemed right, as Weiner had been receiving a good deal of attention at the time for his incessant calls for Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas to recuse himself in matters relating to Obamacare. If you’ll recall, it had just previously been discovered that Virginia Thomas, the wife of Justice Thomas, had been paid $150,000 by “Liberty Central,” a Tea Party-affiliated group that fought against Obama’s health care plan. As much as I liked the narrative, though, I didn’t feel comfortable sharing it. While it certainly crossed my mind that I should grab my bells, like Paul Revere, and start ringing them frantically to draw attention to the conspiracy, I just couldn’t do it. Something told me that I should hold off until all the facts were in. And, now, I’m glad that I did.

Representative Weiner just came out this afternoon saying that, not only was it his throbbing penis that we saw straining at fabric of those grey underpants, but that, over the last two years, he’d engaged in inappropriate sexting relationships with approximately a half dozen women. Apparently, people we’re buying his claim about having been hacked, so he had no choice but to come forward and confess. And, to make matters worse, the women at the receiving end of his dirty texts were beginning to talk. One – a blackjack dealer in Las Vegas by the name of Lisa Weiss – just made it public that Weiner asked her for photos of her vagina, and admitted to “jerking off” to her Facebook photos. (I’m sure Republicans will be lining up to run against him the next time he’s up for reelection. Who wouldn’t want to run against a guy named Weiner that admits to jerking off to Facebook?)

After what went down a few years ago with John Edwards, whom I also admired, I can’t say as though I’m surprised. I just expected more from Weiner. I realize, of course, that men, for well documented biological reasons, have illogical and ofter self-destructive urges, but I’d like to think that, when there’s a lot riding on it, they can be controlled. I mean, if I, as a middle-aged blogger in a third-tier rustbelt town, can restrain myself from sending people photos of my penis, I’d like to think that someone on something as important as the House Committee on Energy and Commerce, could do the same. But I guess that some people need a lot more validation that others.

Pelosi is calling for an ethics investigation, but, according to Weiner, he’s going to fight it, and try to stay in office. I suppose at some point, though, if it becomes too much of a distraction, the powers that be in the Democratic party will ask him to step aside. That’s usually the way things play out.

Personally, I think he looks pathetic for claiming that his Twitter account had been hacked after he’d accidentally broadcast the penis photo. I would have respected him a hell of a lot more if he’d just come out and said, “Damn, I fucked up.” The lying, to me, is almost always worse than the crime itself. As for the crime itself, I don’t give a shit about my politicians and whose Facebook photos they chose to masturbate to, as long as they aren’t mine. I just want someone who’s bright, engaged, tenacious and relatively progressive. So, this shouldn’t matter to me, right? I should just say, “It’s between Weiner and his wife.” But it’s hard for me not to question the guy’s judgement after his. If he’s going to jeopardize a Democratic seat in Congress over an opportunity to maybe see a grainy cell phone image of a blackjack dealer’s vagina, how the fuck bright can he be? I get that he’s an ugly guy, and gets off on the attention and power, but is it too much to ask that our elected officials, especially now, when the stakes are so high, use a little common sense, weigh the risks, and make due with a copy of Hustler?

With all of that said, though, if our nation were led only by men who never took risks when it came to the pursuit of women, we’d be living in a much different place right now. Like it or not, some of our best leaders (Jefferson, Franklin, Kennedy) were philanderers of the highest order. Not to excuse Weiner’s actions, but maybe there’s something about juggling sexual partners that helps one to become a better politician… But, on second thought, maybe it’s not empathy that these learn, but deceit. Who the fuck knows?

update: I didn’t think that I’d needed to spell this out, but please do not send me your wiener photos. I just received one from a reader in Portland and I found it no so much to my liking.

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  1. LaidOffTeacherPatti
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 10:09 pm | Permalink

    You know what though? Women have urges too. I’ve managed to keep myself from emailing pictures of Patti Jr. to strange men.

    And I’m sorry but if you can’t control your johnson, stay the fuck out of public office and maybe just hide in your parents’ basement. I mean seriously…I hate the excuse that men just can’t control it!!1!!111!* That’s insulting to men. You can control yourself from taking a shit on the sidewalk, right? Personally, I want a president, Congressperson, the dude in charge to be able to control his wang, thanks.

    *Not that you were putting forth this excuse, Mark.

  2. someone
    Posted June 7, 2011 at 7:02 am | Permalink

    At some point we’re going to realize that 99.999999% of people, rich or poor, don’t mature beyond age 15 or so. And we’re going to treat these “scandals” like the rest of the world does, by saying: who gives a fuck?

    Now, what’s going on with the Palins?

  3. Scott Trudeau
    Posted June 7, 2011 at 7:10 am | Permalink

    As a NYC resident, the only bright side I see to this pathetic affair is that it hurts Weiner’s chance to win the NYC mayor’s office. While I tend to approve of his work in DC, he is too tight with the older Democrats in NYC and is opposed to a lot of the positive things Bloomberg has pushed, especially on transportation (Weiner is against bike lanes and congestion pricing).

  4. Edward
    Posted June 7, 2011 at 7:21 am | Permalink

    He won’t last in office. He’s still lying. In his press conference yesterday he said that he never used taxpayer resources when conducting these pseudo-affairs. We already have at least two women, however, including porn star Ginger Lee, saying that they received calls from his DC office. This thing is far from over.


  5. Mr. X
    Posted June 7, 2011 at 8:01 am | Permalink

    It’s not terribly funny, but, as I was watching the news conference, I couldn’t get the phrase, “This Weiner Drips Tears,” out of my head. If you want to try it, it’s said like, “These Colors Don’t Run”.

  6. Posted June 7, 2011 at 9:25 am | Permalink

    I think maybe the problem is that psychopathic personalities thrive in politics and business. The clinical checklist for psychopathy includes charm, glibness, egocentricity, lack of empathy, lying — all useful traits. And compulsive sexuality, which isn’t. (I haven’t read Jon Ronson’s new book, “The Psychopath Test,” but I hear he goes into this idea.)

  7. jean
    Posted June 7, 2011 at 11:20 am | Permalink

    If every person engaged in sexting and lewd internet chat is a psychopath, we are in serious trouble. Humans like sex. We as a culture make it dirty—transgressive– in an attempt to curb it. But then taboo sex just becomes hotter sex in our twisted minds. And that evolves into all sorts of really destructive behavior in the name of heightened sexual experience. But the answer is not and never has been making it more naughty. Why are we surprised by this? Why do we wag a finger? Who cares? Even if he used public funds for a few telephone calls… really? That is the governmental abuse we want to focus on? A lot of ambitious men get into office and also exert their ambitions with women. And a lot of ambitious women seek out men in power to seduce. (This Weiner was not in it alone) There is an epidemic of really truly awful– and unlawful– sexual activity out there. 1 in 4 women is sexually assaulted in this country. We need to be clear about the difference between sexual violence and regular old transgressive sex. I think we focus on consensual but transgressive sex to avoid the big problem which is non-consensual sex. I’m not saying they are not in any way related, just that we need to make the line really, really clear between the two and reserve our judgment and attention to activities that cross the line to abuse.

  8. EOS
    Posted June 7, 2011 at 11:50 am | Permalink


    The man has no integrity. He’s the scumbag, bottom-feeder who lied in front of national cameras on multiple occasions and attempted to shift the blame onto an innocent Breitbart. He should resign.

  9. Bob
    Posted June 7, 2011 at 12:04 pm | Permalink

    I had little sympathy for him until the Breitbart part of the story came out. That guy is an even bigger turdstick than his mentor Matt Drudge. Personally, I hope New Yorkers set an example and ignore the calls for him to step down. Really, who gives a shit what he does on his computer? After his display on the floor in support of the 9/11 responders, he deserves a pass.

  10. dragon
    Posted June 7, 2011 at 12:08 pm | Permalink

    It’s really a shame that he wasn’t a diaper wearing ‘family values’ republican who enjoyed the company of whores, then he could just apologize to baby jeebus and the whole matter would just disappear.

  11. Posted June 7, 2011 at 12:56 pm | Permalink

    He should have just admitted it from the start, then publicly professed his love for Jesus.

  12. Andy Cameron
    Posted June 7, 2011 at 1:52 pm | Permalink

    my thoughts exactly, dragon.

    Weiner is guilty of stupidity, but as long as there were no laws broken I don’t blame him for lying about it.

  13. Smelly Tongues
    Posted June 7, 2011 at 1:58 pm | Permalink

    There have been some great headlines out of this story though. For example, “Boehner silent on Wiener scandal”. I realize that it’s pronounced “Bay-ner” but it’s still pretty funny…

  14. EOS
    Posted June 7, 2011 at 2:05 pm | Permalink

    This is the guy who was heavily involved in designing ObamaCare and then turned around and suggested his state get a waver to opt out. Anyone who paid the slightest attention knew he was a weiner back then. There’s no such thing as having integrity in a small compartment of your life. You’re either honest or you’re not. A public servant without integrity is worthless to his constituents. It does not matter whether you have a D or R after your name. He’s an embarrassment and should go. The more the Democrats want to justify his actions, the more damage he does to your cause. If a Republican screws up, he falls on his sword and is quickly yesterday’s news and replaced by someone who can better serve the cause. Democrats should wise up.

  15. Andy Cameron
    Posted June 7, 2011 at 3:47 pm | Permalink

    “If a Republican screws up, he falls on his sword and is quickly yesterday’s news and replaced by someone who can better serve the cause. Democrats should wise up.”

    As always, EOS, you make an excellent point. However, for the sake of your analysis I fear you may be forgetting about a few guys… Like the good old boy whore monger (R-LA) whose conservative christian creds just got him re-elected. Or maybe the fuck-my-employee/buddy’s-wife cool kid (R-NV), who resigned almost 2 years after the events, and only when the ethics committee referred his case to the DOJ and FEC.

    But other than those you’re probably right… oh, wait, no, then there’s Newt Gingrich (R-GA) who was married and carrying on an affair with an employee while trying to impeach Clinton (and whose resignation had nothing to do with his affair). And there’s Mark Sanford (R-SC), who used public money to go fuck his soul mate in Argentina (and never resigned), and then poor, poor Larry Craig (R-ID) who never resigned after admitting to (and then hilariously trying to deny his admission) trying to pull the old “Chuck-n-Buck Suck-n-Fuck” with another man in a public restroom.

    Wait, I know! You must be thinking of Chris Lee, the nobody freshman rep from NY who quickly resigned after he sent shirtless pics of himself to someone from Craigslist. But, you know, regardless of these and other examples that don’t fit the narrative, I think you should stick with it, and just keep saying, “Chris Lee resigned, so there!”

  16. Dirtgrain
    Posted June 7, 2011 at 3:50 pm | Permalink

    EOS, politicians aren’t honest, and they don’t have integrity. I won’t prove it, but you can easily disprove it with a counter example.

  17. Brainless
    Posted June 7, 2011 at 4:00 pm | Permalink

    “innocent Breitbart” Bwaahahahaha……

    You are SUCH a fucking fraud.

  18. EOS
    Posted June 7, 2011 at 7:26 pm | Permalink

    “As always, EOS, you make an excellent point.”

    Thank you. I never claimed there were no exceptions, but generally, the Republicans hold their elected officials to higher standards. I was thinking of Chris Lee, as well as Tom Delay, Mark Souder, John Ensign, Paul Stanley, and Mike Duvall. I wonder how long the list would be if all the Democrats who’ve had affairs resigned or who have been brought up on ethics charges.

    Breitbart has a wife and kids and shouldn’t have been made the scapegoat for Weiner’s transgressions. To his credit, he hasn’t published the x-rated photo or any of the filthiest material that Weiner posted.

  19. Brainless
    Posted June 8, 2011 at 11:01 am | Permalink

    Breitbart is a lying whore and has always been. He deserves a kick to the nuts. Breitbart would piss on your grave if the thought it would benefit him. You, EOS, are now and will always be nothing but a brainless ditto-head fraud.

  20. Andy Cameron
    Posted June 8, 2011 at 11:40 am | Permalink

    Ensign was referenced in my previous comment. He resigned almost 2 years after he got caught fucking his best friend’s wife, so don’t think that one counts for you. And he wasn’t pressured to resign by average moral republican voters, he only resigned under pressure from the GOP in order to let Dean Heller run for the seat as an incumbent next year.

    Tom Delay held on as long as he could, until his felony indictment got in the way. He certainly wasn’t forced out by average republicans who were disgusted by his behavior.

    Paul Stanley and Mike Duvall are inconsequential local politicians, not national. Got anyone else high profile?

    And I hate to point it out, but the all the republicans mentioned loved to lecture the rest of us about strong christian morals, but then went and betrayed their families by fucking people they weren’t married to (with exception of Chris Lee). That’s not the same thing that Weiner did.

    Ok, I’m done.

  21. kjc
    Posted June 8, 2011 at 12:11 pm | Permalink

    Breitbart has a wife and kids and shouldn’t have been made the scapegoat for Weiner’s transgressions. To his credit, he hasn’t published the x-rated photo or any of the filthiest material that Weiner posted.”

    Breitbart just showed Weiner’s dick to a radio show. The pic is now on Twitter.

  22. Posted June 8, 2011 at 7:58 pm | Permalink

    Those who are curious, can hear the radio exchange here, and, if you want, you can even see said penis, which, I must say, is impressive.

  23. Posted June 8, 2011 at 8:15 pm | Permalink

    Apparently, among all of the Weiner texts to young women that are now being released by the media, is the following.

    “with me behind you can’t we both watch daily show?”

    I know that Jon Stewart is a friend of his, but he’s got to use this in an ad campaign, or at least ask him about it on the show.

    I hope none of my friend reference the possibility of reading my blog while making love as they attempt to seduce members of the opposite sex via text.

  24. Meta
    Posted June 9, 2011 at 9:46 am | Permalink

    Stewart addressed it last night.

    But one part of the conversation really stuck out to Stewart. Let’s just say it suggests that Weiner has a desire to have sex while simultaneously watching “The Daily Show.” Stewart responded in the only logical way:

    “You want me to cut my wrist again?”

    A sickening as this was, Stewart had to assume that Weiner isn’t the only person who’s “getting down” while watching his program. To embrace the sexual nature of his show, Stewart concludes with the second musical accompaniment he’s had in as many weeks: A sexy, shirtless saxophone player.


  25. Barbecue Bob
    Posted June 12, 2011 at 12:08 am | Permalink

    Wiener is in treatment now. It will all be OK.
    Parents, you can let your blackjack dealing teenage daughters out of the house now.
    Whew! That was a close one.

  26. Posted June 12, 2011 at 3:11 pm | Permalink

    If I didn’t already have too may videos up on the front page, I definitely would have posted this dramatic reading of the Weiner texts by Bill Maher and Jane Lynch.

  27. Edward
    Posted June 16, 2011 at 10:10 am | Permalink

    Weiner is apparently stepping down today, and leaving Congress.

  28. Edward
    Posted September 14, 2011 at 7:49 am | Permalink

    Good work, Weiner. I hope it was worth it.

    GOP candidate Robert Turner wins special election for House seat vacated by former New York Rep. Anthony Weiner.

    The GOP captures the solidly Democratic seat for the first time since 1923 and may pose a threat to Democrats heading into the 2012 elections.

    Weiner resigned earlier this year over a sexting scandal he first lied about and later admitted to.

  29. Meta
    Posted September 14, 2011 at 12:26 pm | Permalink

    The guy who took Weiner’s seat was at one time a producer of The Jerry Springer Show, so I don’t think he’ll have any problem fitting in with the rest of the DC Republicans.

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