Stopping Jesus from his global murder spree with a well-timed elbow drop

I have no idea who was originally responsible for this, but a friend shared it with me on Facebook, and I felt compelled to share.


But wait, there’s something even funnier… Harold Camping, the religious broadcaster who had Christians all over the world convinced that life as we knew it would end this past Saturday, now says that the world will actually end on October 21.

Camping, when asked if he’d be giving away all of his worldly possessions in advance of the Rapture, when all good Christians, like himself, will be called back to heaven, said the following.

“I still have to live in a house, I still have to drive a car. What would be the value of that? If it is Judgment Day why would I give it away?”

Camping’s Family Radio empire is estimated at over $100 million. (In 2009 alone, the nonprofit reported to the IRS that it took in $18.3 million in donations.)

Camping, for those of you who aren’t aware, also predicted the return of Jesus in 1994.

[Professional wrestler Randall Mario Poffo, better known as “Macho Man” Randy Savage, passed away in a car accident on May 20, the day before Camping had predicted the inconceivable “horror story” that would be the return of Jesus.]

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  1. Bob
    Posted May 24, 2011 at 9:11 pm | Permalink

    Idiot forgot to carry the one.

  2. Luber
    Posted May 25, 2011 at 4:23 am | Permalink

    I bet they love Slim Jims in heaven.
    Almost as much as living people like them.

  3. Knox
    Posted May 25, 2011 at 6:32 am | Permalink

    The world would be a much more interesting place if religion and professional wrestling intertwined like this. I’d love to see the Buddha in a Mexican wrestling mask.

  4. Mr. X
    Posted May 25, 2011 at 12:23 pm | Permalink

    “Snap into a Savior” has a nice ring to it.

  5. Kim
    Posted May 25, 2011 at 12:53 pm | Permalink

    I think a lot of people, like Mr. Camping, get off on the idea of all the “sinners” being tortured. It’s like the revel in the thought of it happening. It doesn’t come across as very “Christian”.

  6. Robert
    Posted May 25, 2011 at 7:05 pm | Permalink

    Jesus did return in 1994, but he was just stopping in to pick up some chinese carry-out. It wasn’t the “big one.”

  7. Posted May 25, 2011 at 7:41 pm | Permalink

    One things for sure, after Jesus comes, there’s going to be a lot of abortions.

  8. Posted May 25, 2011 at 8:35 pm | Permalink

    I’m not quite sure what you’re getting at, Pete, but it reminded me of this.

  9. Posted May 25, 2011 at 8:37 pm | Permalink

    Here’s a link for those not understanding the Slim Jim references.

  10. Posted May 25, 2011 at 8:42 pm | Permalink

    As for Camping, I think people should start inspecting the structures that he created as a civil engineer. (That was his profession prior to getting into the religious broadcasting business.) Given the number of mathematical mistakes he’s made in calculating the date of Jesus’s return, I wouldn’t be surprised if some of his bridges weren’t in danger of collapse.

    I wonder if any news organizations would have me on if I made a prediction as to when his first bridge would fall…

  11. Mark H.
    Posted May 25, 2011 at 9:34 pm | Permalink

    To be fair, it should be pointed out that relatively few Christians fell for Camping’s “prediction”. But the mass media sure went for it, and thru the mass media, Camping found his gullible flock.

  12. Left Behind
    Posted May 26, 2011 at 9:50 pm | Permalink

    Mr. Camping has missed the obvious. It’s not that his math was wrong. Jesus did return! But, he only found two people he was willing to take. (They were fishing in Mansiyskoe Lake.) Camping, like the rest of us, were simply left behind.

    Things are about to get weird.

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