I feel embarrassed for the United States today. I feel how educated folks must feel in countries where people, despite the evidence to the contrary, continue to burn women as witches, and hack the limbs from albinos because they’ve been told by holy men that doing so cures AIDS. I feel like we’ve now officially entered into the post-reality world. I can’t quite articulate it. Watching our democratically elected President hand over his birth certificate just makes me feel as though we’ve finally crossed over into some sort of fantasy world, where crazy conspiracy theories aren’t just tolerated and encouraged, but given real consideration, as though they were just as valid as real, evidence-based facts. It’s as though we’ve officially legitimized the racist fear-mongering that had been bubbling away below the surface these past few years, since we elected the nation’s first black President.
Here’s part of what the President had to say today.
…As many of you have been briefed, we provided additional information today about the site of my birth. Now, this issue has been going on for two, two and a half years now. I think it started during the campaign. And I have to say that over the last two and a half years I have watched with bemusement, I’ve been puzzled at the degree to which this thing just kept on going. We’ve had every official in Hawaii, Democrat and Republican, every news outlet that has investigated this, confirm that, yes, in fact, I was born in Hawaii, August 4, 1961, in Kapiolani Hospital. We’ve posted the certification that is given by the state of Hawaii on the Internet for everybody to see. People have provided affidavits that they, in fact, have seen this birth certificate. And yet this thing just keepson going.
Now, normally I would not comment on something like this, because obviously there’s a lot of stuff swirling in the press on at any given day and I’ve got other things to do. But two weeks ago, when the Republican House had put forward a budget that will have huge consequences potentially to the country, and when I gave a speech about my budget and how I felt that we needed to invest in education and infrastructure and making sure that we had a strong safety net for our seniors even as we were closing the deficit, during that entire week the dominant news story wasn’t about these huge, monumental choices that we’re going to have to make as a nation. It was about my birth certificate. And that was true on most of the news outlets that were represented here…
How can you not feel sorry for this man?
It’s disgusting, and we should be ashamed.
…(T)he move did anything but end the chatter. Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck both said that they think the release today was timed to distract from Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke’s news conference. Beck said, “My theory: This is because Bernanke is speaking today”…
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I’ve just spent a little time poking around a popular Republican website, and the theories are insane. Obama, in my opinion, should have known better. There’s no dissuading these people with facts.
“How come the 1 in 1961 on block 20 looks like it’s written in?,” says one commenter. Another asks, “Why is the O in Oahu floating like a balloon above the line, but not in OBAMA?”
“Wake up people,” says another Tea Partier, “This is all a distraction by Obama. He’s doing something bad now/soon and is using this so people will be distracted by this and not the real news, whatever that is.” Another says, “This might be believable if he had not spent over 2 years and millions to hide it. If he had produced something credible during the campaign when the issue first came up there would be few questions. This just heightens the suspicion that he was and still is hiding something. He didn’t produce squat, real or faked, until Trump made a public nuisance of himself.”
As for Trump, he’s selling this a major victory, claiming that Obama would never have revealed his real birth certificate if not for the media campaign waged by the suspiciously-coiffed reality television star. And, not one to leave the spotlight, Trump is now asking for the President’s education records, insinuating that something is amiss.
The right, in the face of being proven completely wrong, beyond a shadow of a doubt, is celebrating tonight. Another commenter on the Republican site referenced above says, “We’ve forced his hand. All the lies and deception Obama has fed us has now come to an end.”
Yes, by being shown to be racist assholes incapable of comprehending a veritable mountain of evidence to the contrary, they have won a decisive victory. That’s the upside down world we live in.
Now, if only people would get onboard with my campaign to have Trump’s mother and father exhumed so that tests can be performed proving that he is in fact their son, and not a Soviet plant. After all, there’s no way that we can be certain that the son born to the Trumps that day is in fact the same man we see before us today. What’s more, having never seen him eat or poop, we have no way of knowing that he in in fact human at all. He could very well be a real life version of Vicki the Robot from Small Wonder.