The Republican ideas that will save our nation

All too often on this site I criticize the Republican party for being bereft of new ideas. I’m going to have to stop doing that now, though. With the infusion of new blood, via the Tea Party, the ideas are are now flowing fast and furious. Just this week alone, there are three fantastic measures being put forward by Republican legislators in the news. Here they are.

The South Dakota House is currently considering a bill that could “make it legal to kill doctors who perform abortions.” The GOP-backed bill, which has already passed out of committee, would change the state’s definition of justifiable homicide so that it covers scenarios in which abortion doctors are killed by people acting to protect the fetus of a spouse, partner, parent, or child.

The Missouri State Senate is currently considering significant changes to their child labor laws, which would, among other things, eliminate governmental oversight, and allow businesses to hire children under 14 years of age.

And, in Georgia, a state legislator is calling for the elimination of motor vehicle licenses, stating that, “Free people have a common law and a constitutional right to travel on roads and highways that are provided by the government for that purpose.” It’s his belief that licenses, “cannot be required of free people, because taking on the restrictions of a license requires the surrender of an inalienable right.”

This is what you wanted, America. You wanted real, libertarian change, and now, thanks to the Tea Party Republicans, you’re getting it. With any luck, we’ll soon be living in a world where men are no longer encumbered by big government laws telling us what side of the highway to drive on, or whether or not our children can work 18-hour shifts in coal mines. Then, we shall see who the truly great men among us really are.

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  1. TeacherPatti
    Posted February 15, 2011 at 11:12 pm | Permalink

    We’ve said it before on here…I hope they go for it and get rid of child labor laws. Seriously. If that’s what it takes to get people out marching in the streets, go for it.

    Similarly, when abortions have to be done in the proverbial back alley, and middle class white girls start dying, maybe people will pay attention (not that I WANT anyone to die or kids in coal mines, of course!)

  2. Lonson Swanson
    Posted February 16, 2011 at 2:03 am | Permalink

    I worked when I was a little kid. It was not that bad. It was illegal, but I learned a lot.
    I would not trade that experience for anything. I look around at all the people I work with complaining about their diabetes and their bad backs and their vericose veins and their fat beer bellies and asking what the government can do to help them. And I have a little chuckle over it.
    People are funny, and very afraid. Also weak.
    Thanks for the congratulations, Mark. I can’t wait to vote republican next cycle.

  3. Knox
    Posted February 16, 2011 at 6:57 am | Permalink

    Allow me to clarify. Not all kids will have to work in the mines. Only the poor kids will likely choose that path to empowerment. Our kids will be just fine. In fact, they’ll be better than fine. They’ll have access to cheap coal power, thanks to the efforts of the poorer children. Everyone wins.

    And don’t kid yourself about better off white girls dying in alleys. They’ll just go to Canada to get their abortions. This is about making poor girls accountable for their actions.

  4. Posted February 16, 2011 at 7:00 am | Permalink

    I say give them everything they want. Get rid of it all, the EPA, Civil Rights, compulsive education, child labor, public transport, make murder legal when someone offends you, allow the sale and possession of nuclear weapons, get rid of all taxes, scrap the separation of church and state, hell scrap the separation of powers.

    Give it all to them. That’s what Americans want.

  5. Glen S.
    Posted February 16, 2011 at 7:12 am | Permalink

    I guess the logic here is that if we keep our teenagers busy working in mines, they won’t have time to get pregnant and won’t need abortions? Likewise, once they’ve eliminated health and safety and labor laws, and unions, our kids will likely never be able to earn enough to buy a car — therefore no need for a drivers’ license.

    Perhaps this new Tea Party-sponsored neo-feudalism is starting to make sense AFTER all!

    Is it me, or are the recent policy proposals of real, live Tea Party elected officials starting to rival — if not top — the musings of frequent MM poster and (I hope) satirist “John Galt?”

  6. Posted February 16, 2011 at 8:06 am | Permalink

    I can’t wait until they close down all the public schools. Then our manufacturing sector can make a come back due to the incredible supply of cheap, illiterate labor. We get the added benefit of being able to finally kick all those illegals out of our country as they will no longer be necessary.

    Plus, we get the benefit of firing all those parasite teachers, those useless drags on the system.

  7. TeacherPatti
    Posted February 16, 2011 at 8:27 am | Permalink

    Yeah Knox…that’s true about Canada, at least for us and wealthier girls who are further away.

    Pete, I know right? And for God’s sake get rid of that bullshit special education and those special education teachers who (according to the general ed teachers) do nothing all day long anyway!

  8. Posted February 16, 2011 at 9:05 am | Permalink

    YES, FUCK SPECIAL EDUCATION. It’s “special” and by definition, does tax payers no good, just socialist drags on the system.

    If all those “special” kids weren’t so lazy, we wouldn’t need special education.

  9. Edward
    Posted February 16, 2011 at 10:26 am | Permalink

    Perhaps this post will lure BA out of his hole.

  10. Steph's Dad
    Posted February 16, 2011 at 10:49 am | Permalink

    If you haven’t seen it yet, I really liked this bit on the Daily Show.

    “Sorry Ladies, the free abortion ride is over”

  11. TeacherPatti
    Posted February 16, 2011 at 10:52 am | Permalink

    I know…if my goddamned kids would just get their sight back, they wouldn’t need to pay me to do my job. Come on now…get those eyes a’ workin’ kiddos!

  12. Tommy
    Posted February 16, 2011 at 11:20 am | Permalink

    Can’t wait to hear the bitching by everyone as Slick Rick Snyder lays out his budget. Word is that ALL pensions will be taxed in the state, brining in a huge amount of money. On its surface – this may or may not be a good idea. Who knows.

    What surprised me, however, was that there IS a current exemption on PRIVATE pensions in place right now ($45k for Indiv. / $90k for married filing jointly). The way things have been positioned in the media, is is just the PUBLIC employees who are sucking the state dry and making out like thieves on pensions! But nooooooo. Basically – the vast majority of ALL retirees pay nothing in taxes to the state. To all the old milkshake tea-party types who were bitching – I guess you just got fucked too!

    My prediction – private pensions will somehow be protected from taxes; public pensions won’t.

    As an aside, a teacher with 30 years experience and an $80,000 salary pulls down a pension of 36k a year. I wonder how much someone retired from the Auto companies (not just UAW Workers) makes in retirement.

  13. Kim
    Posted February 16, 2011 at 12:24 pm | Permalink

    There’s also a guy in Arizona named Ron Gould who is proposing legislation that would allow anyone to carry a concealed weapon, even into public buildings, like the capitol. Colbert had a funny piece about it yesterday.–smith-goes-to-the-state-legislature–then-later-possibly-washington—ron-gould?xrs=share_copy

  14. Ms. Pacman's Lover
    Posted February 16, 2011 at 12:52 pm | Permalink

    This would be hilarious…if it wasn’t true.

  15. John Galt
    Posted February 16, 2011 at 12:58 pm | Permalink

    Please stop all this talk of coal mines. The number of children needed for our mining operations is relatively low. So stop your scare tactics. Many, many more children, as we all know, will be needed in our brothels. And those children will be treated wonderfully. If they perform well, men will even give them oranges and chocolate.

  16. Posted February 16, 2011 at 1:24 pm | Permalink

    Patti, your kids are obviously blind because their parents didn’t work hard enough to pay for that option. If only they would have stopped collecting welfare and getting jobs then they could have added the 5 senses package for their kids.

  17. TeacherPatti
    Posted February 16, 2011 at 1:37 pm | Permalink

    These goddamned kids want everything handed to them!!!!! Grades, awards, eyes….

  18. Posted February 16, 2011 at 3:09 pm | Permalink

    Unbelievable! We have spoiled them enough.

    Let’s go and watch “Atlas Shrugged”.

  19. Posted February 16, 2011 at 5:43 pm | Permalink

    What John Galt isn’t telling you is that the reason children won’t be needed for coal mining is because we’ll just be cutting out that messy coal middleman and making electricity directly out of children. (This is, of course, also why faux-libertarians are willing to ban abortion – we need to ensure a strong supply of children to keep the hoppers at the power plants topped up, lest the cost of electricity to power our iPads goes up.)

    And – Canada? If you think a pregnant woman will be allowed to cross the border, I suggest rereading The Handmaid’s Tale. As that work of future history suggests, even merely fertile women – let alone pregnant – are entirely too important an matter of homeland security to be allowed to visit Canada.

  20. TeacherPatti
    Posted February 16, 2011 at 7:28 pm | Permalink

    Murph, I think you’re onto something…let’s get that start up going and beat them at their own game.

  21. Posted February 16, 2011 at 7:44 pm | Permalink

    My abortion post the other night (the one about the pregnancy test that alerted authorities) contained a reference to the Handmaid’s Tale. No one mentioned it, though… Once again, you’ve disappointed me.

  22. Leon Spinks
    Posted February 17, 2011 at 5:21 am | Permalink

    What is a handmaid’s tale?
    And who on earth would want to hear it? We’ve all met handmaids. Their stories are boring.

  23. TeacherPatti
    Posted February 17, 2011 at 9:48 am | Permalink

    Mark, I know I’m in the minority here but I hated that book. It was ridiculous how “they” went in and fired all of the women from their jobs. If that happened, a lot of shit wouldn’t get done, commerce would fall apart, the economy would sputter. I just found that ridiculous.

    Leon, I know it’s hard to comprehend so I’ll type slowly…it’s called a book. You can tell he was referencing a book because he capitalized the H and the T. That is called a context clue and that alerts the clever read that Mark is, in fact, referencing something Important. See what I did there? I capitalized important. But I do agree…it was a boring book (sorry, Mark!!)

  24. Kim
    Posted February 17, 2011 at 4:01 pm | Permalink

    One more for your list. After passing a new abortion bill, the Wyoming House sent the legislation to the Wyoming Senate’s Ag Committee for review. That’s right, women are livestock in Wyoming.

  25. Leon Spinks
    Posted February 23, 2011 at 3:31 am | Permalink

    Ha ha.
    “alerts the clever read”?
    Maybe you should type more slowly, teacher.

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