I know the Republicans claim to be all about slashing the budget right now, but I suspect they could find a few million dollars to fund this initiative of mine.
New business idea #137: the communications enabled pregnancy test
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18 Comments
They could then send a representative to your house to give you periodic ultrasounds.
This is a great idea, Mark.
I don’t think the woman should be trusted with the results. I think she should have to wait a few hours, until there’s a knock at the door.
I wish there were a way I could keep my uterus and vagina in some kind of central repository. I don’t feel as though I can be trusted with them.
Fertile women can’t be trusted, it’s written in the Bible that they are nothing but trouble.
We should make sure that the people who visit her home are either men or post-menopausal.
So on point! Love it! Can I post this on my facebook page?
What about a box of tampons that was connected to the internet, so that the government knew when a woman wasn’t menstruating?
Women are sneaky, and will find a way around this. I propose that we make it mandatory that all toilets be equipped with technology that would check their urine for the presence of pregnancy hormones. If such hormones are noted alerts can be sent. (I also think that a dye pack could be deployed, marking the woman.) And, if the woman happens to be in a public restroom at the time, the stall doors can be automatically sealed.
Yeah, I think Edward is right…you can’t trust us silly wimmins to be able to tell when the stick is blue. And you certainly don’t want us reading words liks “yes” or “no”.
It’s all very confusing for women. Often times, when they say no, they mean yes. It’s better that male doctors and/or politicians assess the results.
Fetus don’t fail me now.
Really Patti, I think that the solution is to stop educating women. Them knowing how to read is really confusing the issue. They really need to just get to what they are good at and stop this playing around wanting to vote and get jobs.
A timely bulletin from Planned Parenthood:
https://secure.ppaction.org/site/Advocacy?cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=12524
My vagina should call a spiritual leader every time it begins to moisten.
I maybe shouldn’t say this publicly, but I gotta wonder what the NeoCons would do to me, a would-be fertile woman who is voluntarily spayed. Would you yank the little clamps off of my fallopian tubes? Gosh but that would hurt! Well, I guess if I disappear for awhile, you’ll know that some NeoCon learned to read for comprehension and found this website.
I was on line today in a department store. I was behind a semi attractive, young, tall, skinny girl. She put her things on the counter. She had about two dozen little boxes of different types of candy (Mike and Ike, Jolly Ranchers, that type of stuff). Of course, it was Valentine’s day, but the candy wasn’t that kind. The boxes didn’t look like those special occasion candies. Just normal sugary sweet stuff. I thought wow, this youngster has a dozen kids or one hell of a sweet tooth.
Then I noticed that the last little box she put on the counter was not a little box of candy but a home pregnancy test. It was all clear to me.
I thought about talking to the girl on line there and striking up a conversation about pregnancy tests and candy or whatever, but that would have been waaay too weird. Or maybe not?
Anyhow, interesting story.
Sorry, nothing to do with Mark’s post, but funny anyway.
I know that you’re kidding, but this actually isn’t a bad idea. If we distributed these for free in urban areas, I suspect we’d capture a lot of would-be baby killers before they have an opportunity to act.
I think your pregnancy test/fetus protection notification business plan from last week just found a market:
http://wonkette.com/439234/fun-proposed-georgia-law-would-give-death-penalty-for-having-abortion-or-miscarriage#more-439234
Please delete this post before some asshole makes it happen.
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