I’m told that there may be photo of me on the AnnArbor.com site tomorrow, milking a Krampus teat into a beer mug. I’m not saying it didn’t happen. It could have. I don’t know. Due to my cold, I’d eaten a number of honey lemon cough drops with echinacea, and, to be honest, the whole day is a blur. It’s conceivable that an unscrupulous photographer talked me into doing something that I shouldn’t have. At least I suspect, based on what I’ve seen online, that I’m susceptible to such things. Anyway, I wanted to warn you so that you could stay away from your computer tomorrow, or all technology for that matter. Here, for those who are interested, is a photo of the Krampus breast I’m said to have suckled on… And, yes, I’m told there may have been suckling as well as milking.
In all seriousness, the photo that Tom Perkins took to accompany his article was probably as classy as it could have been, given the subject matter. And, in his defense, he didn’t make us bring the painfully-erect monster nipples… Speaking of costumes and such, this Krampus chest and the pink plush chain accompanying it were made by my friend Melissa. Aren’t they nice? What I’ve got in mind for my costume won’t be nearly as elegant, but I reckon that’s OK, as everyone will be drunk, sweaty and preoccupied by the giant, sparkly Krampus nipples… So, have you started on your costume yet? It doesn’t have to be elaborate. But interesting would be good.